


These Things I'll Never Say

by Dream31, DreamGWTW (Dream31)



Category: Gone With the Wind, Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
Genre: Drama, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 52,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream31/pseuds/Dream31, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream31/pseuds/DreamGWTW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if story based on what might have happened if Scarlett realized, much to her own shock, that she loved Rhett on the day of Frank's funeral. R&S.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Things I'll Never Say

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first piece of fanfiction written back in 2009. I have only started to move some of my stories to this site now. I hope that you enjoy it :)

~♥~These Things I’ll Never Say~♥~

_I killed him. I killed him. I killed him. I killed him._ The words kept playing themselves over and over again in her mind until she thought she would scream. She looked down at her hands which clutched the now emptied glass _. I’ll have just one more. Maybe then his face won’t haunt me_ , Scarlett thought as she walked over to her bureau, opened the bottom drawer, and pulled out the swoon bottle, now only half filled with brandy. She grabbed the decanter quickly and poured herself another glass, then took a big gulp before returning to her seat. The warm brown liquid burned as it travelled down her throat, but she welcomed the fire if only it would blot out her memory. _If only I could get myself drunk enough so I wouldn’t have to feel this guilt, oh God I am going to hell!_ she thought to herself, and then took another large sip.

Scarlett was not accustomed to feeling remorse. Normally, she could pass off the things she had done as something that was out of her hands, something that simply had to be done with no other way out, but now she could not pass off her treatment of Frank as something she had no control over. She had not only manipulated Frank into marrying her, knowing full well he was in love with her sister, but she also bullied and shamed him, and made the remainder of his life unbearable. And then she killed him. For this she knew she was going to be punished and it terrified her. _Oh God please forgive me. If I could change everything I would._ She took in the remainder of the brown liquid in her glass in one large gulp. The pleasantness of the brandy spread throughout her body but nothing removed her fear or his cold condemning face.

 _If only I could tell somebody! I wish Melanie were here. She could—no Melanie is at home with Ashley. Ashley._ The name usually brought a smile to her face, but now even the thought of Ashley brought her no joy. She thought about what Ashley would say if she confessed her fears, if she told him how she’d killed Frank, how she used him and then killed him carelessly. He wouldn’t be able to love her. He would never love her again if he knew. He would never understand and he would never look at her the same way again, and yet she did not seem to care. The only man who she could turn to and who she could truly confess her secrets to was Rhett. Scarlett knew she could tell Rhett anything without having to worry about being upbraided, even when she spoke of her businesses and her leased convicts, which no one approved of, least of all her husband, he was always there to lend a helping ear. Scarlett never thought she would think this but she was glad to have Rhett in her life. Glad to have at least someone to lean on.

 _I can count on Rhett, can’t I?_ she thought, mystified, because she had only realized this now. _Why Rhett is really the only one whom I could ever count on. That night of the siege why Rhett was there to help get us out of Atlanta. I would have never made it home to Tara without him. And when I couldn’t pay the taxes, well he really would have helped me if he could have. He did come to me the moment he was released from jail to lend me the money. And when everyone had refused to drive me around he was…. Oh._ The thoughts came and went so quickly that Scarlett barely had anytime to process them completely. She shook her head thinking she could shake away these strange thoughts from her mind and then rubbed her temples with both index fingers, but nothing would stop the running thoughts.

“I don’t understand!” she unintentionally said aloud, louder than she would have liked.

 _I don’t understand. It’s almost as if I… no I can’t. I can’t. I love Ashley. I love Ashley._ Her mind was whirling and although she wished that the sole reason for her spinning head was the brandy, she could not deny that what she knew now also had a deep effect on her. _Oh God I am in love with Rhett Butler,_ she thought then shuddered. The realization came so unexpectedly that Scarlett was truly shocked and far from pleased. _I cannot love Rhett Butler! I have to love Ashley. It has always been Ashley_. _Maybe if I just keep repeating his name over and over again this will all go away_.

“I love Ashley. I love Ashley,” she began to whisper at least ten times before she stopped, realizing her attempts were futile. She hit the side of the chair she was sitting on, frustrated that her mind was not listening to her own commands. She huffed, got up, and poured herself another large glass of brandy. Before she even had a chance to get the rim of the glass to her lips, Scarlett heard the sound of a familiar drawl coming from downstairs. Her face went crimson, and she almost dropped the glass in her hands she was so stunned. She heard him ask for her and wondered whether or not she wanted to see him after discovering her new found feelings. It wasn’t as if she could go on and tell him how she felt because she knew there was no way he cared for her in the slightest. Or did he? She didn’t know how he felt and she was still too confused about her feelings to know what she would eventually do, but she didn’t think that Rhett would be persuaded to leave the house so easily by Aunt Pitty. Scarlett decided to simply go and tell him she’d be right down.

She came back to her room, rinsed her mouth with cologne, arranged her hair, and buttoned up her dress to the chin. She then also dabbed some cologne on her wrists and behind her ears, and smiled contently at herself in her mirror, even though she truly wished she could also put on some rouge. She then regretted thinking it at all, knowing she did not want to entice Rhett now of all times. _I will only talk to him for a moment_ , she thought. _It’s not like he will notice a change in me. I’ll just let him help me tonight like I would any friend._ And then it dawned on her that Rhett was the only man who could easily read her mind just by looking her in the eyes. She began to panic. Her heart was racing and her breathing quickened, which didn’t help her already tipsy state. She went to meet him downstairs, although somewhat shakily, telling herself that she would simply have to fool him and that she certainly could because she was Scarlett O’Hara.   

***~Chapter 2~***

The moment Pitty retired to her bedroom upstairs, Rhett lead Scarlett to the library. She could feel her heart beating steadily, yet all too quickly for her liking. She silently prayed that Rhett wouldn’t notice, that when he looked in her eyes he did not see the frightened nerve wrecked girl she was at the moment. She met his dark eyes only once so far, when she had come down the stairs, and she fervently wished she could put off looking into them again because she knew her eyes were the things that would surely betray her. _I’ll just keep my eyes down. Oh damn Rhett for coming today of all days. Why is he here anyhow? Doesn’t he see that I am in mourning?!,_ she thought as she walked past him into the library without so much as giving him a glance from the corner of her eye.

“May I close the doors?” Rhett asked, pulling her away from her thoughts.

She did not know why Rhett had come, but she certainly knew that she did not want the rest of the house overhearing their conversation, especially Mammy, who found ways of eavesdropping without being provided the help of wide opened doors. Scarlett simply nodded in reply, and then went to sit down on the rosewood sofa in silence. She began to play with the black fabric of her dress, keeping her eyes focused on her hands. Rhett was sitting next to her in an instant, and she could feel his stare upon her face, trying to persuade her to meet his eyes, but she refused.

“You are awfully quiet today Scarlett. It’s not like you,” he said with laughter in his voice, although there was seriousness to his question. She continued to fiddle with her dress, still not answering his question. He moved closer to her and put his hand on hers. She felt the electricity of his touch zap her, and her cheeks flushed. She wanted to pull her hands away but she knew the moment she did he would question her, so she kept her hands still, hoping he would remove his hand and ease her discomfort. As he leaned in closer, he could smell the alcohol that still lingered on her body.

“It’s no good, Scarlett.”

She felt the color in her cheeks grow deeper, and she was certain he could hear her heart thump wildly because she could feel it pounding out of her chest. _He couldn’t possibly know already,_ she thought panicked, quickly searching for a way out.

            “I am sure I don’t know what you mean,” she said quietly, trying to sound calm.

            “The cologne. You’ve been drinking, quite heavily.”

She sighed, relieved, and then she processed what he had just said, her anger bubbling to the surface.

            “So what if I have! Is that really any of your affair?” she said now glaring at him with hot green eyes. He simply laughed.

            “Don’t drink alone, Scarlett. People always find it out and it ruins the reputation. And besides, it’s a bad business, this drinking alone. What’s the matter honey?”

His dark eyes were searching her face, looking for answers. She couldn’t stand his penetrating gaze, so shelooked back down at her hands, now covered by his own. _Did he really just call me honey? Does he have to keep staring at me like that!_

            “Can’t you tell me? What’s wrong darling? Did Frank not leave you with as much money as you would have hoped for?” he said with a smirk, although he was truly concerned.

            “How dare you! If you came here just to insult me I will gladly show you the door,” she said with indignation as she pulled her hands away from his and stood up abruptly. He took her hands in his grasp and pulled her back down to the sofa.

            “Come Scarlett, why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?” he said softly, his hands now gently caressing hers. His warm hands and even just his presence were so comforting that Scarlett could not bring herself to tell him to leave. She knew he was the only one who could erase her fears, and although the thought of him knowing her true feelings frightened her more than the eternity in hell she was facing, she also knew that she could unburden the overwhelming guilt she had by discussing her worries with him.

            “Oh Rhett, I’m just so afraid!”

            “Don’t be a goose Scarlett. You haven’t been afraid a day in your life.”

            “I am afraid. Oh Rhett, I am afraid of dying and going to hell! I killed Frank, I killed him, I tortured him, I…” her thoughts were jumbled together. She didn’t even know where to begin.

“Did you ever think Scarlett that maybe there isn’t any hell?”

“Why of course there is, and I am on my way there! I feel so guilty Rhett. I’ve never really felt this way before, and now it just won’t go away. I stole him from Suellen; did I ever tell you that? I told him she was marrying Tony Fontaine, oh God, and he loved her not me. He was going to marry her and then I lied and used him, and then I go and kill him! God will never forgive me. Oh and mother—” Scarlett had tried to avoid thinking about her mother. The thought that she would have disappointed her, when she had so desperately wished to be just like her, was too much to bear, but Scarlett could not control her thoughts and emotions, which were running wild.   “Mother would have died on the spot if she had lived to see what I have done. I’m glad she isn’t here to see this. She’d be so ashamed.”

 Tears sprung up into her eyes and began streaming down her face. She tried to swipe them away from her eyes and cheeks, but they continuously flowed uncontrollably, despite her best efforts.  Her hands clutched Rhett’s so tightly that her nails were digging right into his skin. She was so thankful that she had Rhett to cling to so that this consuming guilt would not swallow her whole. Rhett was the only one she could confess these feelings to.

            “Oh if I could just do everything all over again Rhett I would. I’d be kind and thoughtful, just like my mother. I’d do it all differently.”

He managed to shake off the tight hold of her gripping hands so that he could pull out a handkerchief.  She took it and wiped her eyes and tear stained face. As she looked into the black depths of his eyes, a sudden calm came over her and the tears stopped running.

            “Now be honest Scarlett. If you had to do it all over, you would do it no differently,” Rhett said calmly.

            “Yes I would. Didn’t I just tell you that I would?!”

            “Really? Did you have any alternatives? Would you let Tara go if you had to do this all over again?”

            “No!” she said quickly.

            “Well, what would you have done differently then? Did you have another choice, other than marrying him?”

“Well… no, but I could have been kinder.”

“You could have been if you were a different person. As I see it, you are only now feeling guilty because you are afraid of going to hell, and if Frank were still alive, you’d still be bullying him because he allowed you to.”

“I… don’t know,” she said completely confused, lost in everything he had said.

“Look Scarlett, this couldn’t have happened any differently, so why worry about it? Besides, I came here for a reason. I have some news that I believe will amuse you.”

She decided that perhaps Rhett was right. Maybe this was just the way things were supposed to turn out. Maybe it really wasn’t her fault at all. She decided to push these unpleasant thoughts of Frank from her mind for the time being, which became slightly easier with Rhett’s presence and the mention of news that would amuse her.

            “What is it?” she asked, slightly excited.

            “My news is this. I still want you more than any woman I have ever seen, and now that Frank’s gone I thought you’d be interested to know it” he said grinning.

This was the last thing she’d expected him to say, and she, for once, was at a loss for words. She stared at him blankly in confusion.  _Is he asking me to be his mistress again? Today!_ she thought, now annoyed, as the blank stare developed into a scowl. Rhett watched alertly as the emotions danced across her face, and he wondered what she was truly thinking.

            “Did you hear me Scarlett?”

            “Yes I heard you!” she shrieked as she jumped out of her seat. “How do you have the gall to call on me, today of all days, and ask me to be your—your—how dare you!” 

“Do try to lower your voice,” he said as he grasped her tiny white hands, and pulled her back down to the sofa. She sat down willingly but would not meet his eyes. “I believe you misunderstood. I am asking you to marry me. Would you be convinced if I knelt down?”

Her head snapped up and her eyes met his. _This can’t be happening! This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening_ , she thought wildly, not knowing what to do or say. She couldn’t understand it. _Rhett always said he wasn’t the marrying kind, and yet he sat here, calmly, asking me to marry him. Why?_

            “Excuse me?” she said, not knowing if she’d really heard the words she never thought she’d hear him say in a million years.

            “Did I stutter?” he asked then laughed. “Yes, I am committing the impossible and asking you to marry me,” he said in a smooth drawl.

Once she would have wished for him to say these words so she could hold them up over his head and make him suffer for all the times he’d mocked or insulted her.  Even at the jail, she would have given anything for him to have asked her to marry him so she could get her hands on his money and pay the taxes, but now that she knew she loved him and that he could use her feelings against her, she did not know if she wanted to be married to him. _If he ever finds out, it gives him the upper hand, and he’ll certainly find out one day if I marry him. He’s always reading my mind, especially when I don’t want him to. Maybe he’s joking. God knows he’s always joking, but he doesn’t look like he’s joking. He looks completely serious._ Her mind kept spinning and she did not know how to stop it. The moment he repeated his declaration, she lowered her eyes swiftly back down to her hands, but now that his hands were still holding hers, quite tightly as a matter of fact, it did little to calm her dizzying thoughts. Scarlett could still hear him speaking, but she hadn’t heard a word he said. She didn’t want to. She wasn’t quite ready to face it all. Suddenly, she realized Rhett was watching her because he had ceased talking. _Oh god, what did he say? Am I supposed to answer?_

“Scarlett? Did you hear a word I just said?” Rhett asked finally, puzzled by her reaction.

            “Um… sorry what?” she answered sheepishly, still fixing her gaze on the hands that held hers firmly.

            “I am baring my soul and you don’t even bother to listen” he said teasingly as the light in his eyes danced with laughter, but then, when she still kept her eyes down and had little to no reaction at his words, the light disappeared.

            “Scarlett, what’s going on? You’ve been acting strangely all evening. Other than your tears and professed guilt, you’ve barely said a word. Look at me!”

She couldn’t raise her head. It was impossible to know what he would see when he looked at her, and she couldn’t take the chance. When he saw that she would not comply with his demand, he took her chin in his hand and lifted it, and she met his gaze unwillingly.

            “Tell me what’s going on? I thought you’d enjoy our little conversation. Was I wrong?”

            “No,” she answered accidentally. _Oh, wonderful, now what do I say!_

            “Well? What is it then?” he asked, watching her face alertly and not letting go of her chin, knowing the moment he did, she would look away once more.

She bit her lip nervously. _Why does he have to keep looking at me like that!_

“Scarlett, answer me!” he now said more forcefully.

            “It’s nothing. I’m just surprised is all. Speechless. And I’m quite tired today, you should understand why. Perhaps we could discuss this another time?” she said, trying to sound aloof.

He eyed her quizzically, not satisfied by her response.

            “Speechless? Well I suppose there is a first for everything. We cannot discuss “this” at another time, as you so put it, because I am leaving tomorrow for England and I may be gone for months. I am also worried that if I wait until I get back, you’ll have married someone else with a little money, so why not me and my money? Really, Scarlett, I can’t go all my life, waiting to catch you between husbands.”

She did not know how to respond, so she simply ignored his statement.

            “Would you please release me now?” she said firmly, trying to get him to let go of his hold on her chin. She didn’t know how much longer she could take looking at him, wondering if he saw just how badly his words were tormenting her and how frantically she was struggling to keep her true emotions concealed.

            “Is it making you uncomfortable to have to look at me, Scarlett?”

Her green eyes darkened and her cheeks grew pink.

            “Ah, so I see we are getting somewhere. And why is it that you find it disconcerting all of a sudden to have to look me in the eyes?”

            “Don’t be ridiculous Rhett!” she said forcefully, trying to sound confident but failing miserably because her voice trembled slightly as she spoke.

Rhett laughed outright. “You’re a terrible liar. Answer my question. Why have you been avoiding my eyes all evening?”       

            _It’s over, it’s all over,_ she thought panicked, hoping to think up an excuse at the last second. 

            “Rhett, just… please drop this,” she said miserably, accepting that every lie she offered him wouldn’t be believed.

He lowered his hand from her chin at the look of misery on her face. It was killing him to know the truth, and he knew if he just kept at it a little longer, she would eventually tell him what he wanted to know, but he also did not want push her too far so that she’d refuse his proposal.

            “If you’d prefer,” he said smoothly, a blandness reaching his face, hiding his eagerness.

            “Really?” she asked surprised, thinking it was some kind of trick.

            “Yes, but don’t think I’ll forget. We will be discussing _this_ another time. However, I seem to have been sidetracked from my real reason for being here.”

And just as quickly as a sense of calm settled over her, it vanished and was replaced by anxiety once more.

            “As romantic as your proposal was Rhett, I do not want to get married,” she said as she walked away from him towards the window. He followed closely behind.

            “Ah! So it is romance that you want!” he said with a grin as he fell to his knees in front of her. 

            “Rhett what are you—” Scarlett started then stopped suddenly when Rhett began speaking.

“Forgive me for startling you with the impetuosity of my sentiments, my dear Scarlett—, I mean my dear Mrs. Kennedy. It cannot have escaped your notice that for some time past the friendship I have had in my heart for you has ripened into a deeper feeling, a feeling more beautiful, more pure, more sacred. Dare I name it you? Ah! It is love that makes me so bold!”

At the mention of love, her heart beat seemed to accelerate, and then she realized that this was all a joke to Rhett. He did not love her. He simply wanted her body. Hadn’t he been clear enough about that?

“Get up off your knees. There’s no reason to joke.”

“This is no joke Scarlett,” he said, standing up then smiling devilishly down at her. “Say that you’ll marry me when I come back, or before God, I won’t go. I’ll stay around here and play a guitar under your window every night and sing at the top of my voice and compromise you, so you’ll have to marry me to save your reputation.”

“But Rhett, you don’t love me,” she said unthinkingly, regretting it the moment it left her mouth. He was watching her again, wondering why she was bringing up love.

“I don’t recall there being a love prerequisite in your previous marriages.”

“Rhett!” she cried, annoyed that he always had to bring up the fact that she never loved the men she married, when she preferred to pretend otherwise.

“Tell me the real reason why you won’t say yes. I highly doubt my loving you or not has anything to do with it.”

She looked at him quickly then looked away, truly wondering why she did not want to accept his proposal. Was it because she was afraid of what he would do to her once he found out she loved him? _He’ll probably laugh in my face then make some barbed comment about unrequited love and how I can’t choose men who actually love me. And then what? How can I avoid a man I am married to! Oh I wish he loved me! It would just make this all so much easier, and then maybe I could actually enjoy this proposal. And maybe he would stop watching me like that! Damn Rhett Butler. Must he always complicate my life? Maybe I could make him fall in love with me, maybe I could…_

And as these thoughts came and wentfrom her mind rapidly, Rhett was observing her face alertly, trying to figure out what she was thinking. He could see she was nervous, avoiding eye contact and fidgeting, and at one point he thought he saw confusion and something else he couldn’t distinguish because suddenly her face took on soft, dream-like quality. Anger and jealousy swiftly consumed him as he assumed she was dreaming about her precious Ashley.

All of a sudden his arms were wrapped around her, and even Scarlett could not remember what she had been thinking. He was kissing her, softly at first, and then with gradually increased passion. Scarlett’s lips melted instantly under his, and she could feel shivers running up and down her spine and butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Her world was spinning and she thought she would faint, but she did not care. She was kissing him back with as much fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck and running her fingers through his hair.

She had never been kissed like this, even that night they’d fled Atlanta did not compare to this moment, and Scarlett was going to take full advantage of it. Rhett was slightly taken aback by the intensity of her response, but he gladly welcomed it. Unexpectedly, Rhett pulled his lips away from hers but kept her in his tight hold, and a frown appeared on Scarlett’s face when she opened her eyes.

            “Say Yes,” he demanded. “Say Yes, damn you or—”

            “Yes,” she whispered then closed her eyes, hoping he would then start kissing her again, but he didn’t, much to her disappointment.

            “You meant it? Open your eyes and look at me!”

She did so reluctantly.

“Yes, I meant it,” she answered quickly then looked away.

“You don’t want to take it back?”

“No.”

“Look at me, and tell me the truth. Why did you say yes?” Rhett asked, hoping that she might care for him, as unlikely as it was, and that perhaps she wanted to marry him for more than his skills at seduction or his large pockets of money.

She did not know how to answer. It was all so confusing. The room still hadn’t completely stopped spinning, and he was being so stubborn, forcing her to keep eye contact when he knew full well that she didn’t want to. _How easy it would be if I could just say: because I’m in love with you. How hard is that?! Why can’t I say it? But even then, is that really why I said yes? If only the room would stop spinning for one moment so I can think!_ She thought frustrated with herself. She decided to tell him the truth. It seemed to be the only thing working for her today, though she truly wished she could lie skillfully.

            “I don’t know,” she conceded as she looked up at him.

            “You don’t know?” he said skeptically.

            “No. All I know is that I want to say yes.”

            “Well, perhaps I can help. Does my money have any pull on your decision?”

             “I don’t know…. Yes… a little.”

            “A little? A little seems to imply that there is more to it.”

            “Well…yes I am… um… well we do get along when you aren’t being a scoundrel... and I am…um… fond of you,” she said, struggling to get the words out.

            “Fond of me?”

            “Yes. Well what exactly would you prefer I say!?” she asked, slightly irritated by his constant questioning.

            “I love you Rhett, seems appropriate given the circumstances” he said carelessly, though she saw him ball fists and shove them into his pockets.

            “Why should I! You don’t love me, do you?” she asked faintly hopeful, but Rhett hadn’t noticed because he was too preoccupied with hiding his own feelings and the eagerness her words had brought.

            “No, my dear, I am not in love with you, no more than you are with me, and if I were, you would be the last person I’d ever tell. God help the man who ever really loves you. You’d break his heart, my darling, cruel, destructive little cat who is so careless and confident she doesn’t even trouble to sheathe her claws.”  

That stung. It felt like he’d slapped her with all his strength across her face. She hadn’t expected him to confess a deep love for her, but she did not think he would throw cruel insults at her. She wondered, offended, why he wanted to marry her at all if believed her to be a woman so unworthy of love! She came up with a few insults she would have liked to throw his way, but before she had the chance, his arms were around her roughly and his mouth was on hers again.

 

Although not as gentle as he was before, Rhett’s kisses and embrace still had the same effect on Scarlett, even though she wished they hadn’t. The angry words vanished from her mind, and she could think only of the lips and hands which made her heart race wildly. She loved being lost in Rhett’s arms and the warm giddiness she felt, and when his lips travelled from her lips, along her jaw and down to her neck, Scarlett unintentionally murmured, “I love you Rhett.”

***~Chapter 3~***

She hadn’t meant to say those words. It was as if someone willed them out of her, forcing her to say them, and she submitted involuntarily. As he was kissing her she could feel herself being pulled, sucked in, and before she even had a chance to realize what was happening, she said it. She said the words she promised herself she wouldn’t say, the words she never wanted him to hear, especially now, when he had made it perfectly clear that he did not care for her. He’d even gone as far as saying that any man who ever loved her would be in need of the help of God, and she had just told him that she loved him! She thought she’d gone insane. That or she believed herself to be incredibly stupid, and she did not want to believe that she was stupid. 

_This will be much worse than when I told Ashley! At least if I knew that Rhett would pretend this never happened, I could relax a little, but he won’t. He’s no gentleman, and he is going to throw this back in my face every time he gets the chance. I can’t let that happen, I won’t!_

Scarlett silently prayed that he hadn’t heard her, that perhaps she had not really said the words aloud or that maybe she said them so softly he couldn’t even make out what she had said, but she seriously doubted it because the moment the words slipped out, his body had frozen in place. At this point, Scarlett still hadn’t opened her eyes, hoping beyond hope this would all just go away if she kept her eyes shut. She did not know what Rhett was thinking or if he was watching her, but she did know that he was definitely not kissing her anymore.

           “What did you say?” he asked as he shook her lightly so she’d open her eyes.

His heart had leapt out his chest at her words. He thought he had heard her right, but he wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks on him. He’d been craving for this moment for so long and now he could hardly believe it had truly transpired. He wasn’t certain if he’d imagined the whole thing or if he heard those words simply because he had the strong desire to hear them.   

She complied, but only because she knew he’d keep shaking her until he got what he wanted.  Rhett ultimately always got what he wanted. He always ended up the victor in every one of their arguments, try as she might not to allow him to goad her into one of her tempers. Even tonight, when she hadn’t planned on agreeing to marry him, let alone confess how she now felt, he managed to persuade her into doing both! The only small victory she had won was when he had dropped the subject of her odd behavior tonight, and she knew that would come back to bite her eventually.  It appeared as if that time was now.

            “What?” Scarlett responded softly, looking at him then dropping her eyes when she saw a queer light in his eyes that was burning through hers, faintly frightening her.

            “What did you say just now? Don’t play coy with me,” he said roughly.

            “I’m not. You must have heard what I said,” she answered, trying to pull herself out his hands, which were wound around her arms so tightly it hurt.

            “Say it again,” he demanded, his eyes still penetrating hers.

            “No! Why should I? You know what I said. I told you exactly what you wanted to hear, didn’t I?” 

She tried to appear aloof, but she wasn’t sure if he believed it. Her heart was racing rapidly, she still hadn’t had enough time to fully catch her breath, and she felt like she was going to be sick from all the anxiety if he kept questioning her much longer.

            “Is that really why you said it?” he asked dubiously, not wanting to believe her words.

            “Yes.”

            “Because you thought that’s what I wanted to hear?”

            “Yes. You said—” she thought a moment, hoping that she had the ability to pull this off. “You said that you wanted me to tell you that well… you know… that considering the circumstances you thought I should— ”

            “Yes, I know perfectly well what I said,” he interrupted, sounding irritated.

            “Well, what’s the problem then? I did as asked,” she answered, trying to pull away from him but not succeeding.

It seemed that with every attempt she made to get out of his unyielding grasp, he held on with even more force, so she decided to simply stand still and wait for the perfect opportunity to escape him.

            “Since when have you done anything I ask?” he said sarcastically.

            “Oh!” she said in a fiery temper. “Well don’t worry, I don’t plan on doing anything you ask of me in the future if _this_ is the reaction I get for doing something nice and… well—”

            “What reaction were you hoping for?” he asked curiously, waiting and hoping she would say the words that he desperately wanted to hear.

He wanted to believe that she wanted him to be pleased with her confession, that she had truly wanted to say those words she had almost inaudibly whispered and that she wished he had perhaps reciprocated those same sentiments, but he was far from allowing himself in supposing it possible because she seemed so adamantly set against even repeating them. He could tell she was dying to get away from him, but he couldn’t figure out why. She was behaving so strangely this evening that he did not know what to make out of anything she did or said, which was unusual because he could normally read her thoughts effortlessly.        

She’d flushed deeply at his question, and then she wanted to kick herself for not having a better handle on her emotions. He noticed. Of course he noticed, it was Rhett, but Scarlett truly wished he hadn’t because he was studying her face more intently than he had before, which only made it that much more difficult for her to keep up the appearance of her indifference not to mention that her own body was failing her miserably.

Because she remained silent and averted her eyes once more, Rhett spoke.

            “So… I see you did have a certain reaction in mind for me. Well? Answer me! Tell me what you were expecting?”

            “Nothing!” she said angrily.

            “Your face says otherwise.”

            “Go to hell!” she answered in frustration because she could not pry herself away from his vice-like grip.

He laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant laugh.

 “You can try as hard as you like, but I’m not letting go until you confess. You’re in an awful temper for so simple a question.”

“Let go of me!” she said furiously.

 “I don’t understand why you are so enraged. Could it be because you had sworn, oh not so very long ago, that I would never hear you say those words to me for as long as I lived?” he said jeering.

 They were both skillfully avoiding the use of the word love. Neither one of them had enough courage to say it.

Scarlett racked her brain, trying to figure out what he could possibly be referring to, and then it hit her. The day at the Atlanta bazaar, she had told him that he’d never hear her say the words “I love you,” directed at him, for as long as he lived. _Why is he bringing this up now?_ She thought annoyed, thinking it was a trap of some sort. _Damn him and his memory!_

            “I haven’t the faintest idea what you are going on about,” she said, now attempting to appear calm.

            “I believe you do,” he said then grinned.

She could tell he was laughing at her, and it made her blood boil. It drove her insane that Rhett remembered everything she had ever said, and he knew exactly when to bring it up again to drive her mad. He seemed to get some twisted pleasure out of it.

            “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

            “I’m just trying to understand your mind, my dear. One day you say one thing, the next you do another. And the reason you give me for saying those words is that you wanted to do as I asked? Well I am finding that hard to believe when—”

            “Stop! Just stop! I regret saying them to you,” she cried harshly, hoping the questioning and the mocking would come to an end.

She did not think she could take it for a moment longer. It was obvious that he wanted her to admit that she meant what she had said, but only because he wanted to be able to use these words as weapons against her as well.   

Rhett looked deeply into her eyes after she spoke, and he could tell that she’d meant every word, that she really did regret saying she loved him and wished she could take it all back, but because his hopes had been shattered and his ego wounded, he hadn’t taken the time to consider the real reason behind her regret.

***~Chapter 4~***

Rhett released the hold he had on her immediately and backed away. This time he was the one who averted his eyes and looked down at the floor. He did not want her to see how deeply she’d hurt him, how eager he was to hear that she loved him. He’d been waiting for the day that Scarlett would say these words to him, he even dreamed of how he would finally be able to confess his love in return, but never in all his dreams had she recanted her words or acknowledged that she regretted saying them.

The last time he’d had his heart lacerated and his hopes so completely crushed was when Scarlett came to visit him at the jail, trying to manipulate him into marrying her by pretending she cared for him. He’d felt hurt, enraged, and foolish for having believed even for so small an instant that she cared for him, but even the pain he’d felt then was nothing in comparison to this moment because she hadn’t  been able to say the words “I love you,” out loud at the jail. Now she had said them, and he couldn’t pretend otherwise. She had said them, but she hadn’t meant a word and she regretted all of it when all he could do was wish he could replay that perfect moment over and over again, even after learning it was all a lie.

Scarlett was slightly rubbing her arms in the places where he had gripped her so tightly she was sure she’d have bruises by morning.  She was trying not to watch him, but she found that she could not help herself, stealing glances at him every few moments because she wanted to know what he was thinking. When Rhett released her, Scarlett had been relieved but also entirely taken by surprise. Even though this was the outcome she had wanted, she did not believe that he would have given in so quickly, let alone be so silent afterwards.

She thought that she had possibly hurt him with her words, although she hadn’t the faintest idea why he would be hurt by what she said, she almost wished that she had not spit them out at him so harshly. She then instantly recalled why she had flung those words at him and she no longer cared how he felt. He’d goaded her into saying them, and it was his entire fault for having mocked her so ruthlessly.

The anticipation Rhett had held in his heart only moments before had vanished and was now replaced with cool indifference. When he finally looked up at Scarlett, he found her watching him. He’d caught her by surprise, and she looked away immediately, feeling foolish for having been caught staring at him.

            “I see,” he eventually said coldly. “If you could go back, I assume you’d want to take back these words, on top of a many number of things you mentioned earlier.”

This was not what she’d expected him to say, although she really never could be sure how Rhett would respond to the things she’s said or done since he was so unlike anyone she’d ever known, but this was not the reaction she thought he’d have. She’d have preferred anger to this. He seemed devoid of all emotion, and he spoke as if he didn’t really care one way or another about what she’d said or what she was going to respond now.  He  

            “I suppose,” she said uncertainly, not sure where he was going with this.

He laughed shortly.

            “You suppose. Perhaps these words were not really intended for me? Perhaps it was a slip of the tongue, you were quite swept off your feet by my—er—ardor, and your mind wandered, you began thinking of another and then—”

            “What?” she interrupted, utterly confused.

            “Don’t pretend you don’t know? If anyone knows better than I it’s you. Well? This mock confusion of yours really isn’t becoming.”

            “If you’d simply stop speaking in riddles I’d understand you! What are you going on about?” she asked, aggravated.

            “Who other than your beloved Ashley? You were thinking of him before, though I have to say it was quite inappropriate given that I was the one who had just finished proposing to you. Could you not have waited until you were alone in your room or at the very least until you were no longer in my arms? Well, no bother. I’ll be leaving you now, and you’ll have an ample amount of time to think of him for as long as you’d like.”

            “What! You are bringing up Ashley now! He has nothing to do with any of this,” she shouted, not caring if anyone heard while backing away and putting even more distance between them.

            “I would gladly prefer if the little gentleman were never mentioned in any of our conversations, but I see we can never be truly free of him, can we?” he said with a sudden malice in his voice instead of his previous aloofness.

            “If you’d only stop mentioning him!”

 

            “I’ve only pointed out the obvious, but you are the one who chose to bring him into this.”

            “How?! I was not thinking of Ashley, and I don’t see where you got this idea that—”

            “You don’t see where I could have gotten the idea?” he said mockingly.

            “You’re impossible Rhett Butler!”

            “So I’ve been told,” he replied coolly.

Scarlett did not know where he had gotten the idea that she had been thinking about Ashley. Of course in the past there were times where she had been thinking about him in Rhett’s presence, and naturally he had ridiculed and mocked her for it ruthlessly, but tonight, he could not have been farther from her mind, not to mention that she no longer felt same way as she used to for him. _Why can’t he see that I don’t love Ashley anymore?_ She thought annoyed. _Not that I want him to see it but he usually sees everything else, and now that I am finally telling the truth he doesn’t believe me! And did he not hear me before?! Did he not hear me also whisper his name at the end of that unfortunate I love you. He’s such a fool. And now he’s going to go on and on about Ashley, and I know I’m going to want to scream._

            “Did you not hear me also say your name at the end of …well… you know… what I said before,” she faltered, feeling suddenly foolish for having brought this to his attention. She wanted the discussion of Ashley to come to an immediate end, but she did not want him to resume their previous discourse on why she said those words.

            “Yes, that does have me puzzled. Pray, enlighten me on the reason why you felt the need to add in my name at the end of your little tidbit. Was it because you realized the slip you’d made and did not want me finding out?” he jeered.

            “No! I don’t see why you have to do this?! Is it because I’ve hurt you somehow? If I did it wasn’t—” she stopped abruptly because he had thrown his head back and laughed.

            “Why in the world would you think you’ve hurt me? In order for your words to have any power over me I would have to feel something for you, I would have to care about what you say,” he said callously.

Tears pricked behind her eyes, but she was resolved on not allowing them to shed in front of Rhett.         It felt like he’d ripped out her heart, stomped on it thoroughly until there was nothing left, while laughing as he did it. Scarlett knew he didn’t care for her, but for him to be so insensitive as to say those words was beyond her. She did not realize that Rhett was protecting himself the only way he knew how, that she had gotten too close by thinking she had hurt him and that he took it upon himself to push her away with cruelty.

Even Rhett felt a pang of guilt as the words had flown effortless from his lips, and he immediately wished he could take it all back. Everything he’d said was the farthest thing from truth, but he couldn’t allow her to know that. He hadn’t planned on being quite so heartless, but sometimes he couldn’t control himself, especially when Ashley was somehow involved, which he believed he was.

            “That’s it, get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! If I never see your face again it’ll be too soon,” she shrieked as she vehemently attempted to push him towards the closed doors by pressing her small opened hands on his chest with all her strength.

Unfortunately, her attempts were ineffective no matter how much force she tried to apply. Rhett took a hold of both her wrists and chuckled softly.

            “Did you really think that would work? Come Scarlett, look at me at for a moment,” he implored.

            “No! I want you out. Get out!” she cried, refusing to meet his eyes and trying to escape his hold once more that evening.

            “Do stop struggling. I will release you when you’ve calmed down.  I just want you to hear something first and I know you’ll be out of here the moment I let you go. Please?” he asked with a sudden sweetness.

She stopped trying to escape his grip, but she was unwilling to meet his eyes. Instead, she kept them focused on the floor.

            “What?” she asked resentfully while pouting.                       

            “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said, it was thoughtless.”

            “You, apologizing? That’s a first,” she replied bitterly.

He freed her wrists and chuckled. “Quite possibly.”

She backed away from him slightly, still afraid to look him in the eyes. He was behaving so oddly. One moment he was cold and derisive, and the next he was apologizing, something Rhett never did, and then he was unexpectedly calm again and almost sweet. She did not know what had brought on the sudden eruption of emotions, but she was relieved that his previous mood had passed and had been replaced with something else entirely, though she wasn’t quite sure what. 

“I don’t see why you were so upset with me Rhett. I have done nothing tonight but tell you the truth. I was not thinking about Ashley, and I said that I regretted saying um …those words, not that I hadn’t mea—” she stopped instantly, realizing finally what she was saying and wanting to kill herself for saying so much.

_What is wrong with me? What cant I just keep my mouth shut! He was going to leave._

“Not that you hadn’t what?” he asked, suddenly curious as his eyes lit up again.

            “Um… not that I hadn’t —I mean not that I meant them for someone else,” she said nervously, playing with her fingers.

He raised his eyebrows quizzically. “Really?”

            “Yes,” she said assertively now looking up at him. “Well, do you believe me?”

            He grinned. “Why does it matter so much whether or not I believe you?”

            “It doesn’t,” she said, as a rosy pink painted her cheeks.

            “It doesn’t?” he asked then laughed.

            “No! It’s just that, well I tell the truth for once in my life and it would be nice for someone to believe me, that’s all.”

He was still chuckling softly and she grew impatient.

            “Oh! Stop laughing will you? Go on, I thought you were leaving.”

            “Yes, I’m going,” he said, laughter still clearly lingering in his voice.

He walked into the hallway with Scarlett following closely behind.

            “I’ll write you. Let me know if you change your mind.”

            “Even if I wanted to, you’d only come back here and harass me all over again.”

“Do you want to rethink this?” he asked.

“I didn’t say that I—”

“Perhaps you should reconsider,” he said smoothly, as he opened the front door.

“I told you I wanted to say—”

“Because the last thing we would want is for you to _regret_ saying yes.”

And with that, he closed the door behind him, leaving Scarlett to wonder what had just happened and if she were even engaged any longer.

She was watching the closed door, feeling stupid. She did not know what could have possibly occurred for him to have to such a sudden change of mind. He had come this evening for one purpose, which was to make sure she’d agree to his proposal, and now, Scarlett wasn’t even certain if he had taken back his proposal or if he wanted her to reject him. The whole evening had been so confusing, her realization, his behavior and words, and then this departure which left everything up in the air, something she exceedingly hated.

She couldn’t help but feel disappointed. She’d wanted to say yes, she was happy with her decision once it was made, and it hurt her to think that everything had disappeared so quickly. She didn’t even have the time to process all of it. Her head began to throb violently, so she decided to go up to her room to try and sleep this entire evening away.

Meanwhile, Rhett had hastily made his way back to his rooms to finish packing. He was beyond infuriated with himself. The evening had not transpired the way he had planned, he hadn’t wanted to leave things hanging like that, but his anger had gotten the best of him.  He did not know why he was so furious, why he was packing so violently that his clothes were thrown so chaotically into the open trunks. He upbraided himself for ever thinking that she might have been pleased with his proposal or that she might have meant those words she’d whispered to him. He was glad to be going on this trip, thankful that there would be some distance between them so that he could not make a fool of himself again.

***~Chapter 5~***

            While Rhett was away, Scarlett could not help but admit that she missed him. She tried as best she could to erase him from her memory, to make herself forget him so that she would not spend one more night dreaming about him and his return, but all her attempts were futile. She wanted to force herself to hate him for all his cruel words, to sincerely wish that he wouldn’t come back, but she found that she could not, especially since the unpleasantness of their last encounter began to fade since she found herself involuntarily focusing on the enjoyable aspects. She hated herself for being so weak for allowing herself to think about a man who cared nothing for her and for actually hoping that he would come back sooner rather than later.  

 Not only did his departure show her how badly she had come to rely on him as company and a listening ear but it also made her realize just how few people she had to call friends. Although she hadn’t planned on telling anyone about Rhett’s proposal, especially since she did not even know whether or not they were engaged anymore, she wished there was at least someone in her life she could speak frankly to, even if it were just about her newly discovered feelings for him. However, she realized the only person she could ever truly be honest with was Rhett, and the realization made her feel suddenly lonely.

She looked for things to occupy her mind and quench her loneliness, such as throwing herself into work at her businesses, but even that didn’t seem to help. When she went to the mills, she saw Ashley, and now seeing only made her feel more depressed and a little pity for him because he no longer held that glow he used to for her. She didn’t even know how to act around him anymore now that she knew the love she used to have for him had died away. Sometimes at night she would try to analyze why she no longer loved him and just why she found herself in love with Rhett, but often these thoughts had caused her head to ache and she merely accepted the fact that she now loved Rhett and only felt friendship for Ashley as the truth.

Many of those in Scarlett’s life began to see a change in her, especially Melanie. She no longer had that sparkle in her green eyes, she was quieter than usual, and she was less impatient with those around her, although there were still days where she was extremely irritable and where she could still lose her fiery temper.  Sometimes when Scarlett found her aunt Pitty and Melanie chatting in the parlor she would be invited to sit with them, and she would either simply decline their invitation and retire to her room early or she’d sit and barely say two words to anyone. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted company, she did, but it was simply because she found it hard to pretend to be even remotely interested by their topics of conversation, especially when her mind began to wander uncontrollably, try as she might to pay attention.

Once Melanie had asked her if there was something troubling her, but Scarlett had simply brushed her off and explained away her uncustomary behavior as being a result of her lack of sleep. Even though Melanie hadn’t questioned her farther, she did not fully believe Scarlett’s explanation. She thought that something was perhaps bothering her most beloved friend and that she was simply too embarrassed or unwilling to discuss it with her or that perhaps she was still consumed by the grief of the death of her late husband.

During the months of Rhett’s absence, Scarlett had come to faintly enjoy Melanie’s company, despite the dullness of some of their conversations. She found that now that she was no longer envious of Melanie and her relationship with Ashley, she was finally able to see and appreciate Melanie’s kindness, and she also realized that Melanie was the only true female friend she had. This sudden awareness had Scarlett making more of an effort to be kinder towards Melanie and to be a better friend to her, even though this was somewhat of a challenge at times because her naivety grated on her nerves every so often.

Sometimes Scarlett would go calling with Melanie when invited, despite how insufferable she found it to be, but she’d go to please Melly. However, she did not know that the reason behind Melanie’s requests to accompany her on her calls was that she was attempting to get Scarlett’s mind off some of her troubles by keeping her occupied as best she could. If she had known the true reason behind Melanie’s offers, she would have gladly declined every one because she did not enjoy being pitied, nor did the social visits with the busy bodies of Atlanta help whatsoever in taking her mind off her problems, if anything it soured her mood.    

One day, while Scarlett was taking a walk in order to escape her household because her aunt was irritating her more than usual, she saw Rhett up ahead in his carriage. She wanted to turn around and run back home as quickly as humanly possible, but she knew he’d come calling on her eventually, no matter where she hid now. This is not how she wanted their first encounter to go. She wanted him to call on her at her home not to simply come across her in the streets, she wasn’t prepared and she was not pleased with her appearance at the moment. Scarlett was still wearing her widow’s weeds, but only because she did not want to deal with her aunt’s upbraiding and fluttering if she were to stop wearing black only a few months after Frank’s death.

She knew he’d certainly comment on her attire, but there really was no way to escape seeing him as much as she wished she could postpone this meeting for a day at least. There was no denying that she had been happy to see that he was back, but her happiness had now faded and was replaced with anxiety. She wasn’t sure how this conversation was going to go, and she wondered if he was going to pretend their last conversation hadn’t happened. He’d said he would write to her, and he had, but only once, not to mention that it had been a very vague letter with no mention or reference to his proposal at all.

When he finally reached her, he smiled devilishly down at her with his perfect white teeth. She wanted to smile back at him but resisted, as she kept reminding herself why she was still upset with him.

            “Scarlett, how good it is to see you,” he said in a smooth drawl, still grinning.

            “Captain Butler,” she answered coldly.

            “So formal for your future husband.”

She looked at him wide-eyed, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

            “Are you?”

            “Of course. Don’t you recall my ever so charming proposal?”

            “Oh I recall. I also remember you telling me to reconsider and that you’d write.”

            “I did write you.”

            “You wrote one letter! You were gone for months and you wrote me one letter. I didn’t know what to think.”

            “I don’t remember you writing to tell me you’d changed your mind.”

            “I didn’t know there was anything to change my mind about, I didn’t even know – oh it doesn’t matter. I hope you had a good trip Captain Butler,” she said as she began to walk away with her chin held up high.

He laughed, effortlessly jumped out of the carriage, and caught her by the arm.

“Did you really think you’d get away from me that easily?” he said and chuckled. “Come, why don’t I escort you back to your aunt Pitty’s where we can talk?”      

“No. I don’t want to go anywhere with you,” she answered petulantly.

  He lifted her chin so her eyes would meet his. She looked pale and tired, as if something was weighing heavily on her mind Rhett thought.

            “You look different Scarlett. Are you tired? Working too hard?”

            “I do not look different,” she said, her annoyance creeping into the tone of her voice.

            “You seem pale. What’s wrong?”

             “I am not pale and you are no gentleman!” she cried, now offended at the slight at her appearance.

            “And you’d think that you’d have realized that by now,” he said with a smirk. “I see you are still wearing black. I wonder what I’ll have to buy you to get you out of these widow’s weeds. Will it be slightly easier than last time because after all you are engaged again, there’s no longer a need to pretend you are in mourning.”

            “Rhett please, must we do this here?” she said now finally realizing they were arguing in the streets where anyone could pass them by and overhear their conversation.

            “Well at least you’re calling me Rhett now,” he said grinning.

            “You’re impossible.”

            “Let me escort you back home so that you no longer need to worry about who will see us in the streets.”

            “Fine” she replied grudgingly as she allowed him to take her hand and help her up into the carriage.

            “I have to say that finding you walking was a bit of a shock. It’s quite unlike you.”

            “I had to get away from Pitty for a while, she was driving me insane. I thought I would scream. I cannot stand to hear her prattle on and on about such ridiculous things,” she said flatly, looking ahead.

            “Why not head over to the mills? I know how much you enjoy that.”

She turned her head, glaring at him with hot green eyes.

            “I did not feel like it, that’s why.”

            “How unusual. Tell me what’s bothering you, and please don’t say that you are still worried about going to hell. I don’t think I could stand a reprise of our last conversation.”

            “No, but thank you for reminding me! It’s nothing—nothing that matters anyhow,” she replied, jumping out of the carriage instead of waiting for him to help her down when they reached her home.

            “I doubt its nothing. Why can’t you tell me? I’m going to find out eventually. I always do.”

Scarlett ignored him and went and opened the front door. He followed her to the parlor where they found Melanie and Pittypat having tea. Rhett was disappointed when he saw both ladies because he’d wanted to speak to Scarlett alone and he wondered if she had purposefully brought him to the parlor, knowing that they wouldn’t get a moment alone that way. Although Scarlett did not know that Melanie would be there, she had been hoping that someone was at home because she needed some time to think about what she was going to do about Rhett.

Rhett greeted both ladies and sat down when asked. Scarlett sat down as well, but then an idea came to her suddenly and she stood back up after only a few minutes.

            “I do declare I am feeling so tired Auntie, I think I will go up for a nap. You will entertain Captain Butler for me wont you?” Scarlett said in the most deceptively sweet voice.

Rhett was watching her alertly, wanting to laugh out right because he knew exactly what she was doing.

            “Oh, oh of course dear. Are you not feeling well?” Pitty said in a worried voice.

            “No, I’m just sleepy. I think it’s from my walk earlier. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later Melly, Captain Butler.”

            “Yes, of course Scarlett,” Melanie answered kindly, smiling warmly up at her.

            “I hope you feel better soon Mrs. Kennedy,” Rhett said with mock concern.

            “Thank you,” she replied then gave him a wide catlike grin and walked up the stairs to her room, wanting to laugh hysterically at how easy it had been to dodge Rhett. Usually Rhett always got what he wanted, but this time she had won, and she couldn’t help but feel mighty pleased with herself.

            “I’m sorry Captain Butler, Scarlett hasn’t been herself lately.” Melanie said sweetly.

            “No, she’s been positively prostrate with grief since Mr. Kennedy’s death, poor child,” Pittypat added.

            “I’m sorry to hear that.” Rhett said honestly, wondering what was really behind Scarlett’s change in mood and behavior.

Rhett only stayed a few minutes before taking his leave. He did not know what was going on with Scarlett, but he fully intended to find out the next time he saw her, which he decided would be the very next day.

Scarlett was glad to find she had the house to herself the next morning, knowing Pitty had gone calling at the Meade’s home because she had been asked her to come along but she had respectfully declined. Although her previously sullen mood seemed to have passed, Scarlett found that she could use people’s concern to her advantage, such as today when she had refused to go calling. No one had even pressed her! And the other day when she had retired to her room when Rhett had come over, they had not questioned her farther on why she was going up to her room. No one was at home, not even Mammy or the children, who were out visiting Melanie so that Wade could play with Beau, and Scarlett found herself humming as she roamed around the house, wondering what she would do to occupy herself.

When she heard a loud knock at the door, she silently prayed it wasn’t any of Pitty’s busy body friends calling on her. When she opened the door, she realized it was worse, much worse. It was Rhett. He was smiling smugly, and she wanted to shut the door in his face, although a part of her wanted to spend some time with him because, despite her best attempts at quelling her feelings, she had missed him so while he was gone. Just seeing him standing there made the pit of her stomach grow cold with nervous energy.      

             “You,” Scarlett said apathetically.

            “How flattering!” he retorted with mock enthusiasm “You know that’s just how I like to be greeted.”

            “What are you doing here?”

            “I think you know. Are going to invite me in, it’s quite rude keeping me here waiting like this,” he said with a smirk on his face.

            “Why should I? I don’t believe that—”

            “Come, I know nobody is home. I made sure of that.”

Scarlett began to giggle, and she let him in since he appeared to be in such a good mood.

            “You are pretty proud of yourself aren’t you?” Rhett asked still smiling because she seemed so much happier today compared to when he had seen her the day before.    

            “I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said still giggling as she spoke and lead him to the parlor. She sat down on the settee and he placed himself right next to her, his leg touching the fabric of her skirt.

            “Yes I’m sure. That little trick of yours may have worked yesterday, but enjoy your small victory because it won’t happen again.”

            “How you do run on. I was only tired, there was no trick.”

            He chuckled. “Just remember what I said.”

            “How did you know I was alone anyhow, Rhett.”

            “I told you, I made sure you were.”

            “Yes, but how?” she said slightly irritated because she hated it when he was evasive.

            “I have my ways, but _that_ is something you do not need to know. So Scarlett, how are we feeling today?”

            “Fine, why?” she answered defensively.

            “Well we wouldn’t want you getting suddenly tired during the important conversation I want to have with you.”

            “I don’t see what you have to say to me that could be of any importance.”

            “Well, planning a wedding is of vital importance is it not, or am I wrong?”

Her heart began to beat faster, and she was sure the blush that crept up onto her cheeks was painfully evident in comparison to the paleness of her ivory white skin.

            “Who’s getting married?” she asked feigning confusion and indifference.

            “We are of course,” he said smoothly while watching her attentively.

            “Don’t joke Rhett, you made it perfectly clear that—”

            “I want to marry you Scarlett. I thought I made that clear.”

            “You do?” she asked cautiously.

            “I do,” he said then smiled and she dimpled genuinely in return. “I assume you still want to marry me?”

            “Yes,” she said softly, her eyes shining brightly.

            “That’s fortunate because I’ve brought a gift here for you and I don’t think I could have given it to anyone else.”

            “A gift!” she cried excitedly, jumping up out of her seat and standing in front of him, looking for what he could have possibly been hiding from her this whole time.

“What is it?” she asked.

He chuckled and pulled the small black velvet box out of the inside pocket of his jacket. He handed it to her, and she grabbed it quickly. She could barely breath, already guessing what was in the box.

            “A ring!” she gasped when she opened he lid.

            “Yes. You like it?”

            “I love it, oh I just love it Rhett! Put it on me, quickly,” she said giving him back the box and laying her left hand in front of him so he could slip the ring on, but then she noticed she still had her old wedding band on so she slipped it off effortlessly and placed her now bare hand in front of Rhett once more.

He laughed so hard his chest began to rumble.

            “As you wish madam,” he answered with the light of merriment dancing in his eyes.

He stood up and was about to slip the ring onto her finger until she shouted for him to wait.

            “Is there a condition attached to this gift Rhett? Last time you brought me something I loved this much was when you brought that adorable green bonnet, and then you made me come out of mourning to keep it.”

            “There is one condition” he said as his dark eyes beamed.

            “What is it?” she groaned, expecting to have to do something ridiculous for so nice a ring as this large diamond surrounded by emeralds.

            “You’ll have to marry me.”

            “Oh Rhett,” she said then laughed and hit him playfully on the arm. “You can put it on me now.”

He took her left hand in his delicately, as if it were made of fine porcelain, and slid the ring onto her finger lovingly. Scarlett watched Rhett intently as he did this and she thought that this simple gesture was the most charming thing Rhett had ever done. It was one of the tenderest moments they’d ever shared. She could almost pretend that this man in front of her loved her as he held her hand in his affectionately.

He held onto her hand longer than she’d expected, and then he turned it over and began kissing her palm tenderly, sending currents of electricity through her body. She was examining his face, and then he looked up suddenly, meeting her glimmering green eyes, and she was sure her love for him was clearly written all over her face.

***~Chapter 6~***

At the look she’d given him, Rhett sucked in a quick breath and was about to bend his head to kiss her until she averted her eyes she pulled away from him on impulse, but Rhett reacted too quickly for her to be able escape and he swiftly drew her into his arms. All of a sudden, Scarlett found herself wrapped in Rhett’s embrace, kissing him just as she had done the last time he’d kissed her, but she wasn’t quite sure how it had all come about. One moment she was trying to pull her hand out of his hold, knowing full well that she did not want him to know what she’d been feeling, and then the next moment she was in his arms kissing him, something she’d longed for yet also wanted to avoid.     

Rhett’s warm hands were all over her body, caressing her now tumbled raven hair, grazing her jaw and neck with his finger tips, encircling her waist and pulling her body closer to his. His lips rarely left hers, but when they did, it was only to travel down her neck and then they were instantly back on her own. She felt like the room was spinning and she clutched tightly onto his shoulders for support. Her heart was racing rapidly and she could barely breath, taking in ragged gulps of air whenever possible. There was a desperate need to his kisses, but she didn’t notice as she was too swept up in the moment.  She loved being lost in his arms and she never wanted to leave.

Rhett broke free of their kiss and buried his head in the hair that had fallen wildly around her neck.

            “Scarlett I—” he started, but at the sound of his voice, she was pulled back to reality and Scarlett managed to rip herself out of his arms by taking him by surprise.

            “Rhett, you have to leave,” she said jaggedly since she still hadn’t caught her breath.

She had to get him out of the house because she knew if he stayed she’d either forget herself again and he’d realize how she felt, or worse yet, she’d end up admitting it again, and that hadn’t panned out quite so well last time. She wanted to marry him, had to marry him, but if he stayed any longer she was afraid that they’d both end up saying things they didn’t mean, ruining everything. If she told another man she loved him without him saying it back to her, she knew it would shred her heart to pieces, and the last man she would ever want having that kind of power over her would be Rhett Butler.

At her words, Rhett stood there momentarily stunned. Scarlett took the opportunity to back away, worried that he’d only grab her again, and she was sure if she allowed herself to be taken into his arms once more she wouldn’t have enough willpower to pull herself away.             

            “May I ask why?” he said coolly, trying to compose himself.

            “What if someone were to find us here alone? It isn’t um—proper.”

            “When have you ever cared about what’s _proper_?”

            “I haven’t but…well Rhett Atlanta has enough to gossip about me without this. It’s not that I really want you to leave it’s just that—well—”

            “You don’t?” he asked quizzically.

            “No, I was happy to see you, sort of,” she said warily, looking down at hands.

            “You were?” he said with a grin when he saw just how nervous he was making her.

She kept backing up bit by bit as Rhett moved towards her until finally she was up against the parlor wall.          

“Yes, surely you understand why I’m asking you to leave.”

He chuckled, took her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his dark searching eyes.

            “No, I don’t believe I do, but I’m exceedingly curious. Just why are you asking me to leave?”

            “Rhett please—”

            “No I won’t please, not today Scarlett. You’ve been acting strangely and I want to know why. Just a moment ago I thought that you—and now I thought—”

“Thought what?” she said challenging him for having backed her into a corner.   

“Just answer my question,” he demanded more roughly then he had intended.

“I’m in mourning! I have right to behave differently if I choose to,” she said curtly.

He laughed shortly. “Try again.”

“You are infuriating! You expect me to answer your questions and you never answer mine.”

“If you answer my questions I’ll leave, though I don’t see why you are so worried, they won’t be back anytime soon.”

“How do you—oh never mind. Do you mean it? You’ll leave?”

He smiled devilishly. “Yes, if you answer honestly, otherwise I’ll stay right here until you do. I don’t care if all of Atlanta walks through the front door.”

“Do be serious.”

“I am serious,” he said assertively, his dark eyes penetrating hers, and she was sure he meant it.

“Fine. I’ll answer your damn questions.” She muttered the last part under her breath, but Rhett had caught everything she’d said and laughed so loudly that she scowled at him.

“Oh hush laughing! I’ve just been a little blue lately that’s all. I don’t see why everyone has to make such a big deal about it. Sometimes I see Melly watching me like I’m about to break or something.”

He’d dropped his hand from her chin when he realized she was going to cooperate, but only to pin her shoulders to wall.

“Blue?” he asked skeptically. “Why?”

“Yes…well because—”

“Well?” he asked, eager and impatient.

“I missed you,” she blurted out and turned her face away, now disgusted with herself for caving so easily.

He chuckled softly. “That’s almost harder to believe than your ‘I’m in mourning’ excuse.”

She looked up at him and glared. “What! You don’t believe me?!” she cried furiously.

            “Not particularly,” he said grinning down at her.

            “Oh!” she yelled with fire burning in her eyes as she tried to push away his arms or to kick him just so that he’d let her go. “Let me go and then get out. Go!”

He was still laughing softly, so she stopped struggling, realizing it was useless.

 _Why is he laughing? Why isn’t he still pressing me for answers if he doesn’t believe me?_ she thought irritated.

            “Why are you laughing?! You do believe me don’t you?” she asked now exasperated, realizing he had been toying with her for pleasure.

            “Oh, I believe you,” he said smugly with a smirk that she wanted scratch off his face.

            “You are tormenting me!”

            “Your temper is still as charming as ever.”

He then dropped his right hand from her shoulder and began to gently twist a strand of her hair around his fingers. This sudden lover-like gesture took her by surprise and momentarily cooled her fuming rage.

            “I don’t assume you want to tell me why you missed me?” he asked softly.

            “After this?! You’re crazy.”

            “There’s a strong possibility that I just may be,” he murmured, not really saying this for her benefit.

            “What?”

            “Nothing” he said brushing her off. “So you’ve missed me. My, this is a change. And you won’t tell me why?”

            “No! Did you not hear me before?”

            “Oh I heard you, but should I remind you of my previous threat? Would that help?” he asked mockingly.

            “I answered your question, you said you would leave. I don’t see what else there is to discuss Rhett, we made a deal.”

            “I don’t recall saying I had only one question. In fact, if I remember correctly, I said questions, specifically.”

Scarlett could tell this whole situation amused Rhett to no end, and she wanted to kill him for trapping her this way.            

            “That’s not fair and you know it. That’s an infinite number of questions that I’d have to answer!”

            “Precisely,” he said with his black eyes dancing with laughter.

            “Oh! I am not going to stand here all day Rhett Butler while you ask me a never-ending number of questions.” 

He chuckled softly, still locking her to the wall and playing with her hair.

He’d seen something her eyes, although he wouldn’t allow himself to imagine it had been love, there had been something there for him in the depths of those green eyes, and he felt hope again. She had even admitted, honestly, that she had missed him while he was away, and that was a start if anything.  He wasn’t sure why she had become suddenly aware that she cared something for him, but he intended on finding out one way or another. He was also remarkably curious about what had happened to her obsessive love for Ashley and if she still loved him at all, but he would not allow himself to mention Ashley this morning because he fully planned on keeping his jealousy in check during this conversation. Allowing his consuming rage and jealousy to color his words the night he had proposed had been one of the most foolish things he’d ever done and one of his main regrets, so he was resolved to never make that same mistake again, if he could.

            “Why don’t you answer my previous question, and then I’ll leave.”

            “Am I really supposed to believe that?” Scarlett said, incredulous.  

            “I promise,” he murmured suavely with a charming smile upon his face that made Scarlett want to laugh.

            “You promise as a gentleman I suppose,” she said with suspicion tingeing her voice.

 He laughed loudly. “No, I mean it. Answer this question and I’m gone. There’s no need to behave as if I trapped you into our previous arrangement.”

            “You did trap me!”

            “You needed only to put a limit to the questions I could ask.”

            “How easy it is for you to blame me for this. You knew I wasn’t paying attention to your exact words! And could you stop doing that,” she said trying to swat his hand away.

            “Doing what?”  he asked innocently, though he knew perfectly well what she was referring to.

            “Whatever you are doing with my hair.”

Rhett was standing so close to her, which was distracting enough as it was without him playing with her hair as well. Sometimes his hand would graze her neck or collar bone unexpectedly as he twisted the loose strands around his fingers, which made her shiver involuntarily and caused her to lose her train of thought.  It was hard enough for Scarlett to pretend not to love Rhett and feign indifference when knowing all along that she was such a horrible liar and that Rhett could read her effortlessly, let alone when she was visibly affected by his every touch. She hated herself for not having better control over her own body and she wished she could convince Rhett to just let her go or, at the very least, to stop touching her so affectionately.

            “Why? Is it bothering you?” he said, amused.

            “No,” she answered too quickly.

             “Making you nervous?” he asked, leaning in even closer to her.

            “Don’t presume—”

            “So tell me, why should I stop then?”

            “Because—oh because—this is more than one question! And could you please release me now. I’m not going anywhere.”

She began struggling to break free once more, pushing at his left arm with all her strength that he had to bring back his right hand to her shoulder to keep her back against the wall.      

“Not so fast, I’ll let you go once you answer my question. You know Scarlett, you’d think that you’d realize by now that I’m stronger than you. Are you just too stubborn to accept it?”

Scarlett huffed in irritation and scowled fiercely at him, her green eyes darkening, but she stopped trying to fight his hold. She realized that this was going nowhere. Whether they were battling physically or with words, she would always be on the losing side, regardless of how much effort she put into their battles. Scarlett was also aware that she was simply putting off the inevitable by avoiding his question because he truly wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted. The real question was how much was she going to have to tell him in order to get him to leave and how much of the truth would she have to admit to for him to believe her.

            “It’s a hard question to answer,” she mumbled at last.

            “Try.”

            “Well… what exactly do you want me to say?  I missed you. I can’t explain why, I just did. Satisfied?”

            “Not quite, though you managed to successfully dodge the question. If you _can’t_ explain why, perhaps you can tell me what it is about me that you missed so much that you had everyone around you believing your heart was broken over your lost husband?”

            “You’re conceited enough as it is without my help.”

He was enjoying teasing her so immensely that he couldn’t help but laugh when a blush would sneak onto her cheeks or when her green eyes flashed with fury. It wasn’t that he really needed the answer to this question, he just wanted to prolong the time he had with her, and he knew she would be stubborn and refuse to answer this particular inquiry. Although it would have been nice to hear the reasons why she had missed him, he knew now that she at least cared for him, and that was enough for the time being.

            “One example,” he implored with a cheeky grin that made Scarlett giggle.

            “You’re impossible,” she muttered.

            “So you’ve said. Well?”

            “Well…I missed our conversations. There wasn’t really anyone I could talk to openly.”

“Really? And I’m here now and you are pushing me out the door as quickly as you can.”

“You know why!” she exclaimed, agitated.

Rhett chuckled softly then leaned in as if he was about to kiss her and her pulse accelerated with anticipation and her eyes closed instinctively, but he only brushed his lips gently across her cheek . He then dropped his hands from her shoulder s and slowly backed away.

“I’ll be going then” he said, turning towards the door to leave.

Scarlett was confused and suddenly disappointed that he hadn’t really kissed her and was leaving without so much as giving her an actual kiss good-bye. The realization that she had told him she missed him but that he had made no mention at his missing her while he was gone also dawned on her!

            “Wait Rhett. Don’t you have to tell me something?” she called after him.

Already standing by the front door, Rhett turned around to face her.

            “What is it that I should have to tell you?”

            “Well… didn’t you miss me too?”

He chuckled softly then gave her a quick peck on the forehead, which she found more insulting than his non-existent kiss on her cheek previously because it was the way someone would kiss a child!

“Good-bye Scarlett. I’ll be back to call on you shortly.”

And before she even had the chance to say something in return, he was already out the door. She stomped her foot in anger, wishing desperately that she had something to throw.

***~Chapter 7~***

Apparently, his calling on her shortly meant that he would come to see her the very next day, and every day after that until they were finally married. It was as if he was afraid that if he let Scarlett out his sight for one moment, that everything he discovered about her newly found feelings for him would suddenly vanish or that she would end up changing her mind about marrying him. In fact, what had brought on this sudden anxiety was what he found when he had come to see her the day after giving her the ostentatious engagement ring.

When he had come to the door that day, Scarlett had let him in.

            “Good afternoon Scarlett. How are you today? Haven’t missed me too much have you?” he asked with a wicked grin, evidently still amused by what she’d said the other day.

 She scowled in response. “That’s it. I’m closing the door on you,” she said roughly, pushing on the door with all her force, but his hand went out so quickly to hold it open so that she could not close the door in his face as intended.

            “Don’t be angry Scarlett, I was only teasing. Would it help if I told you that I have been missing you every moment we’ve been apart? That when I walked away from you the other day, I was about to turn around and come right back just to be near you so that I could quench the sudden loneliness that took over me and that—”

            “Hush up, and come inside,” she said, cutting him off before he could finish his ridiculous speech. She could tell he was still joking, and even though she was annoyed by his mocking remark, she also wanted to laugh.   

He smiled then did as asked, taking a step into the entranceway. “You stop me in the middle of my heartfelt declaration? I see that you have not missed me then, whereas I have been counting the minutes—no the seconds until—”

            “You’ve hardly given me enough time to miss you, Rhett. Why are you here?” she asked impatiently.

He chuckled then took her two soft hands gently in his.

            “Because I wanted to see you.”

She blushed faintly and smiled up at him. Rhett could be so sweet when he wanted to be, and she wished he would be this way more often because it was so pleasant to be around him when he was being kind. She wondered why he did not behave himself more frequently, when she knew he was perfectly capable.

“That’s nice of you to say. Why can’t you be like this more often?”

He only chuckled gently in response, and then bent his head and brought her hands up to his lips so he could plant a soft kiss on each of them. And that was when he noticed that something was missing. The large diamond he had bought her was not where he had last left it, on her finger. He dropped her right hand immediately but kept the left one in his tight hold.

            “Scarlett, is there something you want to tell me?” he asked firmly, though still masking the anger and faint worry that lay just beneath the surface.

            “What?” she asked, confused by the sudden change in his mood.

            “Where’s your ring?” he said more roughly, still holding her left hand.

 Blushing to her hairline, she averted her eyes. Scarlett had taken the ring off yesterday and hid it in her dresser drawer before anyone had come home. She was not quite ready to tell everyone about her engagement, particularly since she knew that people would not be pleased by the news. There was also the fact that they would all probably find it odd that she was ready to be married so soon after the death of her husband, especially after the way she had been behaving lately: heartbroken. She would have gladly put it back on had she known Rhett was going to show up, just to avoid this particular situation, but it hadn’t crossed her mind that he would be back the very next day to see her.

              “It’s upstairs, in my bedroom.”

He laughed shortly and dropped her hand abruptly.

“So at least you know where it’s situated; now why aren’t you wearing it?”

            “I haven’t told people yet Rhett, and I couldn’t let them see the ring first without telling them.”

He let out a quick breath, which he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. He was relieved that she hadn’t changed her mind and that she was only afraid of facing her family.

            “I never really thought of you as a coward. I see that perhaps I was wrong.”

            “I am not!” she shouted, goaded by the insult. “I’m just not ready yet. What will everyone think after…well everyone thinks I’m still in mourning and well— ”

            “Excuses, really Scarlett? Go upstairs and get your ring. We’ll get this over with today.”

Hehhkjxcvkjsdvkjhdfkxcmgvldfjkj            “No Rhett,” she pleaded.

            “Don’t tell me I have to drag you all the way up to your room?”

            “You wouldn’t dare.”

            “Wouldn’t I?” he said with a devilish grin. “Don’t tempt me.”

And she knew he was serious, just by the way his dark eyes were boring into hers, so she went up to her room reluctantly to fetch the ring. When she came back to meet him in the hallway, he was smiling smugly and it took every effort for her not to slap the smile off his face.

            “You’re hateful,” she said crossly.

            “Such sweet words any man would want to hear,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

She only glowered at him fiercely, turned away from him, then lead the way to the parlor where she was sure her aunt was still sitting.  Scarlett rolled her eyes at how Rhett greeted Pitty with his hand kissing and his over the top flattery that left her aunt in a complete ferment. Rhett caught the look Scarlett was giving him, and he gave her a sly wink. She scowled in return and turned her head.

            “Miss Hamilton, I have actually come here today for a particular reason.  Scarlett and I have some new, news we hope will please you. We are going to married,” he said gallantly with a smirk.

Pitty only looked at him then at Scarlett with wide, almost terrified eyes, and then suddenly her whole body had gone limp and she was falling to the floor.

            “Rhett you fool, she fainted!” cried Scarlett.

 He was holding Pitty up as best as he could so that she did not drop to the floor completely, but he was having a hard time lifting her to the couch, given that she was slightly heavier than any woman he’d ever had to carry before.

            “An astute observation. Scarlett, some help please.”

            “This is entirely your fault you know. You just had to—”

            “Scarlett!”

            “Oh fine.”

She walked to over to Rhett and she could see just how badly he was struggling to hold Pitty up right, so she took her feet in her hands to help him lift her to the couch. However, as hard as she may have tried to repress it, the laughter that she was holding in at the absurdity of the whole situation, came bubbling to the surface and she began giggling uncontrollably.

            “Oh Rhett, this was a wonderful idea. Telling her like this.” Scarlett managed to get out between giggles.

He chuckled. “She’s fainted before, though I’ve never seen her go out cold quite like this.”

Scarlett was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, and Rhett couldn’t help but join in because her genuine laughter was so intoxicating.

            “Knowing I’d be marrying _you_ was too much for her to take,” Scarlett muttered, clutching her stomach and sliding down to the floor.

            “Scarlett stop laughing. All I need is two unconscious women on my hands,” he said, though he could barely stop laughing himself.

            “I can’t!”

            “She won’t wake up. Where’s Uncle Peter?  Go get her smelling salts.”

With some effort, she stood up, went to get the smelling salts and brought them to him, wiping the tears that had fallen from her eyes.  

            “I don’t think the first face she should see when she wakes up is yours, Rhett.”

He chuckled softly in reply. “Perhaps you’re right. Why don’t I accompany you to the Wilkes’ next? See how much damage we can do there,” he teased.

            “Well at least we know you could carry Melanie to the settee.”

            “It’s not Mrs. Wilkes I’m worried about,” he said with a smirk, not being able to resist.

            “Rhett!”

He chuckled. “I think she’s coming to, so I’ll be leaving. That ring better be on your finger the next time I see you, Scarlett.”

And with that, he left, and she could hear him laughing softly to himself until the door closed behind him.

***

 Aunt Pitty was not the only one who took the news of their engagement badly. Almost all of Atlanta was in an uproar at the impending marriage, but not even all of the town’s bitter gossip affected Scarlett as much as Mammy’s blunt words about how she and Rhett were mules in horse’s harness. While Scarlett tried not to let Mammy’s hurtful words or the town’s gossip put a damper on her wedding plans, she couldn’t help but feel less thrilled about the whole marriage.

 

One day Rhett had noticed how morose she’d been lately and he questioned her about it.

            “It’s nothing,” she answered absently.

            “It is not _nothing_. Tell me what’s wrong. You’ve barely said a word the whole time I’ve been here.”

            “Well, I just don’t understand why people have to be so mean! I was finally excited about one of my marriages and nobody is even happy for me. Nobody.”

            “Did you really expect anyone to be happy for you?” he said as a smile crept onto his face.

            “No, but they don’t have to be so hateful, gossiping about me this way. It’s their fault I’m feeling so low. Oh I hate them all!”

            “Is this really the first marriage you’ve been looking forward to?” he asked teasingly.

Her cheeks lit up with a rosy pink because she hadn’t intended on saying so much.

            “You’re changing the topic.”

He chuckled. “Yes but it’s a much more pleasant topic don’t you think?”   

“This isn’t helpful at all, thank you. Maybe I shouldn’t plan such an elaborate wedding, no one will come. Oh, but I so wanted a grand wedding and a large reception—oh and dancing!” she pouted, thinking that all her plans wouldn’t pan out.

“Did you really want that kind of wedding?” he asked, more serious now.

“Yes, well I don’t know anymore. What did you want?”

His eyes flashed and he watched her, suddenly alert.

            “Are you really asking me what I want?”

            “Yes. Well you don’t have to look at me like that. It’s not all that shocking.”

            “Oh no, not shocking at all.” He laughed shortly seeing he had offended her. “Now, I was only teasing. I think a simple wedding would be preferable. Why give anyone the chance to decline our invitations?”

She thought a moment. “Maybe you’re right.”

            “You’re agreeing with me?” he said with a grin, disbelieving.

            “I suppose,” she said, still pouting, wishing this was her first wedding instead of her third.

***

In the end, the wedding party consisted of only very close friends and family members, and there was a small reception afterwards at Pittypat’s home. Rhett had not even invited his own family members and Scarlett’s own family hadn’t bothered to show up, which made her think this wedding was by far the most pitiful one she’d ever been to, other than her marriage to Frank However, she liked to pretend that that wedding had never taken place. The only thing keeping her spirits up was the fact that Rhett had promised her to take her on a wonderful honeymoon to New Orleans the very next day and the thought of what was to come tonight at the National hotel when she would spend the night alone with Rhett for the first time. She felt excited, but also exceedingly nervous because she did not know what to expect from a man like Rhett. He was certainly not Charles or Frank in his demeanor, not to mention that she also loved Rhett, so Scarlett wondered how and if everything would be different.

Although the simple wedding was not what she would have truly desired, she did enjoy one part of the ceremony, which was when they had exchanged vows. For once in her life Scarlett meant what she promised, and even though she knew Rhett perhaps did not mean what he had repeated to her, she felt that she had given him a little piece of her heart when she placed the gold band on his finger.

 The kiss they shared afterwards was also a highlight of the wedding, although she found it was all too brazen, and she couldn’t help but think Rhett had done it purposefully just to spite everyone, herself included. She could tell he’d been quite pleased with himself because he’d even had the audacity to wink and smile at her devilishly afterwards. In the end, after thinking it over some, Scarlett decided that perhaps the wedding was not as bad as she had thought. At least she loved the groom this time.    

***

Scarlett was relieved when Rhett took her away from the awkward reception and brought her to the hotel, although then she thought about what was waiting for her at the hotel, and she grew remarkably anxious. When Rhett opened the door to their suite, she was about to walk in but his hand came out quickly to stop her, and before Scarlett even knew what was happening, she was abruptly swung off her feet into his arms and carried over the threshold into the room.  Giggling carelessly, she wrapped her arms around his neck then had the sudden urge to kiss him, so she did, but quickly and timidly on the cheek.

His eyes darkened with anticipation as he brought her gently back down to the floor. He took her chin in his hands softly, searching her eyes attentively.

            “Scarlett, are you happy?”

            “I am now,” she said smiling.

He chuckled softly then affectionately tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before kissing her petal-soft lips tenderly. Her heart was racing wildly and she trembled involuntarily she was so nervous. Rhett broke from their kiss, feeling her anxiety, and she opened her eyes to look up at him.

            “I promise I won’t hurt you.”

            “I know” she whispered breathlessly.

He started to undo the buttons at the back of her dress ever so slowly, until it slid effortlessly to the floor. He then began to unlace her stays as he swept her thick raven hair to one side and planted velvet kisses every so often along the back of her neck, sending shivers up and down her spine. When she was only left in her chemise, he turned her to face him, and placed gentle kisses on her cheeks, along her jaw, and down her neck, as he ran his hands through her hair and along her arms. She started to unbutton his shirt, finding it difficult to concentrate with the way he was kissing her.

He chuckled softly when he realized her hands were shaking as she tried to take off his shirt, so he took it off for her, reluctantly releasing her from his hands to do it. Running her hands up his bare chest, she could feel his hard muscles beneath her fingers, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss her. He complied willingly, kissing and drawing her closer to his body. Her lips melted instantly under his, and she was kissing him back with as much fervor. His caressing hands and hot breath on her body made her feel so warm inside that she thought she was being pulled into a dizzying dream.

 

When the light came shining through a crack in the curtains, Scarlett woke to find herself enveloped in Rhett’s strong arms, her hair strewed across his chest, with only the sound of both their heartbeats reverberating through the room. Smiling, she knew that it all couldn’t have been a dream.   

***~Chapter 8~***

 This was the first time Scarlett had pleasantly woken to find a man in bed lying next to her. With Charles, she had immediately regretted marrying him and spending that night with him that had given her Wade, and with Frank, she found herself disgusted and annoyed by his presence in her bed. Now with Rhett, she not only loved him and relished in waking up in his arms but also found that she felt safe now that there was someone she could finally lean on for once in her life. It was as if she were re-experiencing what the feeling of happiness was like because the last time she had been truly happy had been before the war, which almost felt like a distant memory to her at this point.  

Lying drowsily in his arms, Scarlett was taken by surprise when Rhett’s arms tightened around her body and pulled her even closer to him.

            “What are you smiling at?” he asked with a teasing tone to his voice, though he was waiting for and wanting a specific answer.

She looked at him questioningly, wondering how long he’d really been awake and how long he’d been watching her.

            “Were you watching me sleep?” she responded, avoiding his question.

            “Is there a problem with that Mrs. Butler?”

She laughed softly. “I suppose I am Mrs. Butler now, aren’t I?” she said quietly, lifting her left hand up to the sunlight, watching as the diamond glittered and gold band shone when the sun’s beams hit her hand. 

            “And you find this amusing?”            he asked, joking.

            “No, not amusing, just um—I don’t know, it’s almost like it’s not real.”

            “I assure you, the wedding yesterday was definitely real.”

She flushed a deep red, wondering if he was referring to their wedding day or their night. Deciding to pretend she never even thought the latter, she answered casually.

            “The reception was a little strange don’t you find? The only truly kind person there was Melanie,” she finished, a little irritated now thinking about their reception.

            “I wasn’t referring to the reception, but I believe you knew that didn’t you?” he said as he playfully pinched her chin.   

            “You shouldn’t talk of such things,” she retorted trying to turn her head away.

            “What things?” he asked feigning innocence, but grinning as the mischief was dancing in his eyes.

She thought she was going to die of embarrassment, and she tried to farther herself from him. He only laughed loudly and drew her even closer to him, despite her attempts to push him away.

            “Now, don’t pull away. There’s no need to be embarrassed.”

            “I am not embarrassed!” she lied.

            “No? Then why is your facing glowing that lovely shade of red?” he teased.

She twisted and turned every which way to escape his arms, but it was impossible with the way he gripped her unyieldingly.  He chuckled softly at how hard she was struggling, knowing that he would not lax his hold.

            “Scarlett please, I rather enjoy having you in my arms and I don’t plan on letting go anytime soon,” he whispered as he nestled his face into her hair.

Struck by his sudden show of affection, she stopped moving and lay still against his chest.

            “That’s better,” he said, laughter lacing his voice.

            “You always get what you want don’t you Rhett?” she said, infuriated.

He chuckled and answered carelessly. “Usually. The inconsequential things anyhow. We’re similar that way aren’t we Scarlett?” he added, more serious.

            “I don’t know what you mean. I don’t always get what I want, though I do try. I don’t think you’ve ever not gotten what you wanted, have you?”

            “Why do you ask?” he said, his eyes growing darker and the blandness fading from his face.

            “I…don’t know. I just think you have everything you want, and if you don’t, you could get it somehow,” she said simply, not knowing why she was asking these questions.

            “You have too much faith in me my dear. I can assure you there are a few things I’ve wanted and have been unable to gain.”

            “Like what?” Scarlett asked curiously, thinking that she could not come up with one thing that Rhett wanted and did not have.

            “Such probing questions you ask. Has there been anything you’ve wanted and could not get?” he asked, deflecting her question.

She flushed and remained quiet, thinking that what she really wanted was that he wanted her for more than her body, wanted her because he loved her.

            “Ah,” he mumbled so softly that she almost did not hear him, and he put some distance between them.   

Hoping he hadn’t read her thoughts, she decided to make light of his question.

            “Well, I wanted a lavish wedding, but I didn’t get it. I also wish people hadn’t been so hateful, but they were.  At least we have the honeymoon—oh I’m so excited Rhett.”

He laughed shortly, grateful that she’d changed the subject, and the mask of indifference returned to his face.

            “I enjoyed our wedding, even the reception,” he said with a roguish grin.

            “Yes, I’m sure _you_ did. You couldn’t help yourself could you?”

            “Why Scarlett, are you referring to my indecent kiss?! You know you shouldn’t talk of such things,” he mocked.

            “Rhett!” she said with irritation.

            “I wouldn’t change a thing. It was the climax of the affair. Did you see their faces?”

            “Yes of course I saw, who couldn’t see! They were horrified.”

He laughed so loudly that Scarlett scowled at him, annoyed that he was so amused by his conduct.

            “Oh I wouldn’t go that far Scarlett. They were only stunned for a moment, though I have to say that Ashley may have been horrified.”

            “Rhett! Please—”

            “Yes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man who wanted to kill me quite so badly, and let’s just say I’ve known many men who would cherish the thought of killing me. He should learn to disguise his feelings, it was quite ungentlemanly given his wife was standing right beside him. I would pay money to relive that moment again. Pity I did not see how he took the news of our engagement, if it were anything like I saw yesterday, I would have enjoyed seeing that as well.”

 Scarlett was so passed furious she did not know how to respond. Everything he’d said confirmed that his kiss had been what she thought, a spiteful show for everyone in the room, not anything he’d been feeling for her in the moment. Even if he’d kissed her so brazenly because of his feelings for her, she still would have felt annoyed by his behavior because he embarrassed her, but at least it would have been easier to brush off than knowing he’d only done it out of his hatred for Ashley.

Rhett was waiting alertly for her hot words and the flash of her stormy green eyes, expecting her to jump at the chance to defend her Ashley vehemently.

            “I knew it! You did it all just to be mean,” she shrieked.

            “Yes, and why not? The opportunity was there so I took it. By the way Scarlett, how did it feel when Ashley barely said two words to you, not to mention he avoided looking at you all together?” Rhett said calmly, though underneath the surface he was seething with jealousy.  

            “He was cold. I told you, the only kind person all evening had been Melly! I don’t see why you are so proud of yourself—why do you hate him so much Rhett?”

She thought that perhaps he was so upset because he was jealous of Ashley, and she would have accused him of it had he not mocked her so thoroughly the last time she thought to say that he was jealous of him. There was no understanding his constant need to bring Ashley up, and it irritated her to no end, even more so than his frequent mocking jibes. Quite the accomplishment.

           

“Oh I don’t hate the little gentleman, though I do pity him tremendously, and I do believe I’ve told you this before. Why don’t you tell me why, all of a sudden, you have something nice to say about Mrs. Wilkes? This is an unexpected change in character.”

            “I’ve always loved Melanie!” she cried.

He laughed brashly. “You have never tried very hard to hide your contempt nor your jealousy of the woman.”

            “I am not jealous!”

            “You’ve made a good imitation of it up until now. What’s changed?”

She wished she could run out of the room and escape his constant interrogation. There were some things she was not prepared to answer or willing to answer at the moment. If she had any clothes on, she would have gladly run away, but her chemise was too far to reach without first having to get out of bed. Instead, she tucked the covers around her body and turned her back completely towards him petulantly.

            “Scarlett, don’t behave like a child. I only want a frank conversation,” he said impatiently.

Hoping he would stop questioning her or that he’d get up and leave her alone, she remained silent. If she’d imagine how the first day as a married couple would be, this what not at all how she would have pictured it, although she shouldn’t have been surprised knowing who she was dealing with. Rhett always picked the most inopportune times to aggravate her, and she had little control over her temper. She wished she could manage a cool exterior, appear unmoved, and allow things to roll off her shoulders as Rhett often did, but it was hard for her to keep her anger in check once goaded.  

            “Scarlett, did you really think this would work? That I’d stop asking because you decided to stop responding? I’m not going anywhere, so it’s only a matter of time until you answer me.”

It struck her how well Rhett knew her and how well he could read her, almost as if he could read her mind somehow. She was thankful that this certain skill failed him at times because he would’ve certainly known she loved him by now, or maybe he did know how she felt and he just didn’t care, she thought. But it was clearly not like Rhett to let something like this go. Even if he cared so little, she did not believe he would pass up the opportunity to tease her about it.

            “Must you be so stubborn?” he added since she still hadn’t answered him.

            “Me! What about you?!” she shouted, unable to resist. 

He laughed, and she glowered at the wall still not wanting to look at him.

            “It’s driving you crazy isn’t it?” he said, grinning, though she could not see him.

            “What?” she asked, knowing he’d tell her whether she wanted to hear it or not.

            “Not being able to order me out of your house. You were rather fond of that weren’t you?”

He chuckled softly when he leaned over and saw how she clenched her teeth in frustration, trying to ignore him.

            “I’ll take your silence as a yes. Well, I don’t want to spend the day like this, arguing. Can’t you simply answer my question calmly?”

            “I am not the one who started this argument, you are.”

            “Am I? I don’t recall raising my voice. You can’t lie to me Scarlett. You cannot sit there and pretend you always cared for Miss Melly when I have been witness to the contrary, and then think that I will willingly believe your lies. I’ve told you before that I can stand anything from you accept a lie, so what is it? What’s happened that has you finally appreciating Mrs. Wilkes? ”

He could tell she was thinking over her answer as he peered over her shoulder to watch her.

            “Well? Don’t get me wrong it’s to your credit that you’ve finally come to value her.”

            “Why do you care so much? What does it matter to you?” she said incensed.

            “It is of supreme indifference to me how you feel about her. I want to know what has caused you to have this sudden change in heart, and don’t go repeating your previous lies or I swear—”

            “She’s the only one I have!” Scarlett cried out, unable to listen to another word.

            “What do you mean?”

            “She loves me, though I don’t understand it, I’ve been nothing but mean, but she does. I have no one else to go to, not even my sisters, not that I’d go to them, but Melanie is the only one I have left that’s anything like family to me. Laugh at me if you like, but she’s there for me and I love her.”

            “I wouldn’t laugh at you,” he said quietly, taken back by the emotion in her voice, and he gently laid his hand on her shoulder.

            “Why not? You always do,” she muttered resentfully.

            “Not about this Scarlett,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist affectionately and pulling her closer to him. “You know, Melanie isn’t the only one you have.”

            “She isn’t?” she asked softly, turning to face him.

            “No. You have me now, and I intend on seeing to your happiness.”

            “That’s sweet Rhett,” she said as she rested her head on his chest, trying to hide her disappointment.

            “That’s sweet? Not _you’re_ sweet?” he asked teasingly, and she giggled. “And no words about how you want to make me happy? Would you even be interested in what would please me right now Scarlett?”

She lifted her head to look at him, and she could tell something was amusing him greatly by the way he was smiling at her.

            “What?” she said reluctantly, knowing that she was being set up somehow.

            “I would like you to tell me how Ashley reacted to the news of our engagement. I would have—”

            “Rhett!” she exclaimed, slapping him on the chest, which only resulted in renewing his laughter.

            “A short anecdote,” he implored.

            “Must you always ruin the moment?”  

He chuckled, and then taking her by surprise, he drew her in for a kiss she could not resist in reciprocating.   

***~Chapter 9~***

Scarlett couldn’t deny that Rhett had chosen perfectly when choosing New Orleans for their honeymoon because she just loved everything about it, the engaging and carefree people he introduced her to, the lavish and entertaining parties, and especially the rich and delicious foods she tasted for the first time.  It wasn’t hard for her to enjoy herself when surrounded by people who only spoke of the future instead of always reminiscing about the past, like many of the citizens of Atlanta tended to do. Rhett and the people he’d introduced her to knew how to have a good time, and she found herself swept along, enjoying herself right alongside them.

Not only did she enjoy parties and the people but she also loved the fact that she could behave any which way she pleased without being reprimanded or looked down upon. It was a nice feeling, not having to worry about what people would say about her and the things she was doing, not that she cared very much what the biddies in Atlanta thought about her, but their gossiping had a way of irritating her as much as she would have liked to ignore them completely. It was fun behaving carelessly, and so Scarlett chose to do anything she believed would please her, without a second thought.

Scarlett also found that Rhett had truly meant what he said, that he had intended on seeing to her happiness. He spoiled her to no end, took her on extravagant shopping trips, and bought whatever brought a genuine smile to her face, except for jewelry, which he stubbornly needed to approve first, and Scarlett gladly welcomed all of it. It had been a long time since she’d been this thoroughly spoiled and she couldn’t have been more pleased, unless of course she also knew why he was being so nice that is or perhaps found out he was doing this all out of love for her.

Sometimes she found herself wondering just why Rhett took such pains in making sure she was happy. Of course she understood that they were friends and now a married couple, but it did not explain why a man would go to this much trouble for a woman he did not love. In fact, almost everything about Rhett and the things he did puzzled Scarlett.  For one thing, she couldn’t truly grasp the reason behind his marrying her. She would have been conceited enough to believe he was in love with her had he behaved in a more lover-like fashion, but he often kept his true emotions concealed, which confused her and made her believe there was no way he was in love with her. Occasionally, she would even wonder why he did not love her, why she was not good enough to be loved by someone like him. He certainly wasn’t the world’s biggest catch being the reprobate and social outcast he was, and even though he may be handsome and rich, she also knew herself to be beautiful. Why, she used to have men lined up just to be able to catch a moment of her attention, and she often wondered what he thought made him so special.   

Yes, Rhett was a complete enigma to Scarlett. Sometimes he was so sweet and gentle and other times he was a complete scoundrel, who provoked her anger then laughed, wholeheartedly entertained by her outburst. Then there were those times where she would catch him watching her like a cat at a mouse hole, and whenever she had the nerve to ask him what exactly he was looking for, that look in his eyes, an eager light, would disappear and he would laugh in that infuriating way. Had she been a little less blind to Rhett’s character, she may have realized that he was watching her with that waiting look in his eyes for the same reasons that she had for watching or try to analyzing his face at times when she thought he was asleep or unaware, but this did not occur to her.     

As much fun as it was for Scarlett to be with Rhett on their honeymoon, she also found it difficult to hide her true emotions around him since she was not accustomed to having to hide what she felt. Occasionally she’d slip-up and say something out of character, which resulted in his quizzical glance, or sometimes she’d find herself getting jealous when women would fawn over her husband, finding it challenging to suppress the biting words which would instantly come to mind. At times, she thought that it was completely ridiculous, not to mention draining, having to pretend one thing when you felt another. She had come so close to just going up to Rhett and confessing her true feelings with a devil may care attitude on a few occasions, but she always managed to find a reason to stop herself. Scarlett knew she could bear his mocking for one night, maybe even a month, but she was going to be married to him for years and she did not believe herself quite able to stomach years of his jeering.           

Luckily for Scarlett, Rhett kept her so occupied that she rarely had the opportunity to think much about her feelings to really feel the disappointment of being married to someone she loved but who did not love her back. Of course there were those times when she would feel utterly stupid for having fallen for yet another man who did not love her, but then she still held out hope that perhaps she somehow could manage to get Rhett to fall in love with her if she played her cards right. Sometimes she would even dream about the day he would fall in love with her. He would tell her how he felt and she would be able to tell him she felt the same. The scenario would often change, sometimes he’d come to her with flowers, other times he’d wake her with velvet kisses and confess his feelings, but either way she enjoyed romanticizing, as unlikely as its occurrence was. 

  One night while lying in Rhett’s arms, she had been thinking this and let a soft sigh slip from her lips as she imagined Rhett whispering those three perfect words to her, and after a moment, she felt the heavy arm beneath her neck become like iron as Rhett’s voice spoke in the stillness: “May God damn your cheating little soul to hell for all eternity!”

 

She watched him, stunned, as he dressed. Finally, when she managed to absorb what was happening, she couldn’t help but shout, “Rhett what’s wrong? Where are you going?”

He ignored her and kept walking towards the door obstinately.

Throwing off the sheets, she jumped out of bed and             darted for the door to stop him.

            “You can’t leave like this—without telling me what’s wrong!” 

When she realized he was not going to listen to her, she barricaded the door with her body.

            “Tell me why you’re so angry. I… I didn’t do anything wrong. You can’t do this!”

            “I strongly suggest you remove yourself from the door, or you’ll regret it,” he said harshly.

  His tone had been so ominous that she moved out of the way without thinking, letting him leave without another word.

In that moment she hated him, hated him with everything she had for leaving her here like a fool, for refusing to answer her questions and for always running away. If there was one thing she disliked, perhaps even more than his mocking, it was Rhett’s reluctance in honestly telling her how he felt. He would constantly force her to answer his questions, but he often ignored or avoided hers. As the irritation mounted at the thought of him, she stomped off back to bed, pulled the covers up to her chin, and wrapped her pillow tightly in her arms. Falling asleep had proven difficult, but she was finally able to forget her rage and fall asleep, as restless as it may have been.  

 

Rhett had gone off to get himself thoroughly drunk, downing one whiskey after another until he could no longer see straight, not caring if he passed out in his seat. He wanted to forget this night, wanted to forget the thoughts plaguing him and this consuming jealously. He found it comical how she stood in front of him, pretending she hadn’t done anything wrong. Laughing shortly as he replayed the scene in his mind, he knocked back another whiskey.

It was laughable how she could believe that it was perfectly acceptable for her to be dreaming about her wooden headed hero while she lay in _his_ arms. He could tell by the way she looked up at him, wide-eyed and hurt, that she honestly believed herself innocent of any wrong doing, but that didn’t changed the fact that she’d cut him deeply, even if she didn’t realize it. This was why he could not confess his feelings to her. His pride had taken enough blows and he didn’t think he could stand a blatant one. Even if Scarlett had grown to care for him in some way, she still did appear to have erased the little blond gentleman from her heart yet.

***

While breakfasting in her room, Rhett walked in looking like he had spent the whole night roaming around in a drunken stupor. She looked up and gave him a level look, expecting an apology or at the very least an explanation, but he gave neither. Not being able to eat another bite, Scarlett dressed under his intense gaze, pretending he wasn’t in the room.

  From the far corner in the room while smoking a cigar, Rhett finally broke the silence.

            “So Scarlett, did you have a pleasant evening? Must have been nice having me out of the way for the night, or did you need my arms to achieve the full effect? No matter, but I never pegged you as being very imaginative.”

She looked at him with hate burning in her eyes, wondering why he felt the need to throw malicious insults her way, why he was behaving as if she had hurt him and asked him to leave. Deciding to ignore him as he so often did to her, she flounced towards the door, but Rhett threw down his cigar and had her wrist in his vice-like grip before she had the chance to leave.

            “And where do you think you’re going?” he said roughly. 

            “Anywhere you aren’t,” she replied, matching his tone.

 He laughed, which only fueled the fire and goaded her into saying more.

            “Let me go you hateful skunk! I can’t stay around you for another minute—I’m leaving! Let go! See how you like it when someone runs away from you Rhett Butler.”

He had a big smirk on his face as he mockingly said, “You think I was running from you?”

            “Yes! That’s all you ever do—you’re always either leaving me or laughing at me, and you never tell me why. Oh don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true!” 

He dropped her wrist abruptly and stormed back to the armchair in the corner of the room where he’d been sitting.

            “Go Scarlett.  I’m in no mood to be around you at the present either.”

            “What! You want me to leave?” she cried, enraged.

It was easy to want to leave when he wanted her to stay, but by encouraging her to leave, it sucked out all the wind from her sails, making her want to do the exact opposite.

            “Would I have said it had I not meant it?” he replied with his cool exterior back in place.

            “I hate you!” she shouted. “Oh I hate you! I hate you for—” she started then suddenly stopped herself before saying too much.

            “Pray continue Mrs. Butler.”

She turned for the door, deciding to leave even if that meant feeding into his demands.

            “Don’t leave now when you’re on the brink of telling me just why it is you hate me so much,” he said, getting up from his seat once more.

 Without even having the time to realize what was happening, Scarlett burst into frantic tears. She stood by the door, heaving uncontrollably, trying to stop the tears, which only seemed to make it all worse. Rhett stood still, momentarily stunned by this sudden eruption of emotion.

            “It’s not fair, it’s not fair,” Scarlett kept repeating over and over incoherently between broken sobs as she tried to open the door, but not finding the strength to turn the knob.

 Rhett then gathered her in his arms, pulling her away from the door.

            “It’s alright darling, don’t cry. Please don’t cry,” he murmured as he stroked her hair gently.

She clutched the front of his shirt like she was drowning and it was the only way she could stay afloat, burying her face in his chest and soaking the shirtfront with her tears. It felt so soothing to be held by Rhett’s strong arms and comforted by his tender words that the streaming tears slowly came to a stop. Rhett pulled Scarlett away from his chest to look her in the eyes. After wiping the remaining tears from her face, he placed tender kisses on her forehead, cheeks, and then one on her lips.

Scarlett backed away the moment his lips found hers.

            “No. You don’t get to kiss me and make me forget—no.”

Reaching for her he whispered, “Scarlett, don’t pull away.”

            “Why not? You always pull away from me. You’re such a liar. You told me you’d see to my happiness and then you hurt me Rhett. Why?”

The menacing glow returned to his face as he said, “And what of my happiness? You think I don’t know that you lay in my arms and dream of Ashley Wilkes, wishing or pretending I was him. You can wipe that look off your face Scarlett because I know all the little inner workings of your mind. I’ve known all about your obsession for the man. I knew everything before I married you, but I did not expect this.”   

            “This is all about Ashley, again! And you say I’m obsessed?!” she shouted back at him.  

Before he had the chance to go on with his tirade, she continued more calmly, “I cannot take it anymore Rhett, so I should—I have to tell you something. I well…I… don’t love Ashley anymore, I haven’t for a while. I didn’t tell you before because I knew you’d laugh at me, or you know…tell me how you were right all along. Ashley isn’t the man I thought he was, and I don’t know how it all happened but I… well I just don’t know how it happened is all.”

            “When?”

            “What?” she asked, surprised by the question.

            “When did you know?” he asked roughly, having trouble hiding his anticipation.

            “I don’t know,” she faltered. “I don’t remember.”

            “You don’t know or you don’t want to tell me?”

            “I don’t know. Does it matter? It’s all so fuzzy in my mind. Anyway it doesn’t change what you’ve done Rhett. I still don’t understand why you thought—”

            “It’s irrelevant now,” he quickly interrupted. “Why don’t we salvage the rest of the day? It is after all the last one we’ll be spending here.”

It was easy for him to be the interrogator, but he was not one to willingly answer her questions, especially when there was a lot at stake. 

            “You’re— this is how it’s going to be? You won’t explain yourself, you won’t apologize, you’ll just pretend you did nothing wrong! This may come as a shock to you, but you were wrong Rhett.”

            “I know,” he said quietly. “Would it help if I apologized?”

            “Only if you meant it,” she responded, pouting.

            “Then I’m sorry Scarlett. I misjudged and reacted accordingly.”

            “And you won’t run away anymore,” she added, not even close to satisfied with this apology.

He chuckled softly and took her chin in his hand.

            “I can’t promise I won’t— er— _run away_ again,” he said, grinning down at her.

            “Rhett!”

 Genuinely laughing he continued, “But I will try not to behave so brashly next time.”

She crossed her arms in frustration. “Next time?”

“Oh there will undoubtedly be a next time Scarlett,” he said, laughter still clearly lingering in his voice. He then pulled her in for a brief kiss, and this time she did not stop him.

***

They spent the rest of their day and their evening enjoying each other’s company by going on one last shopping trip and having dinner. Neither brought up what had happened, both not wanting to ruin the peace that had settled, even though they each had questions for the other. Rhett would have definitely pressed the issue of Ashley had he known that Scarlett would not fire questions back at him, but he was not prepared to take that chance.  Scarlett was still baffled by the whole ordeal that she did not even know how to broach the topic even if she’d wanted to.

Later that night when they got back to the hotel, Scarlett slipped on her white silk nightgown and crawled into bed as quickly as possible. She couldn’t help but feel timid around him, even though the rest of their day had been as pleasant as it could have been under the circumstances. Rhett sat smoking a cigar while Scarlett attempted to fall asleep unsuccessfully, so she turned onto her side and silently faced the wall opposite to where Rhett was sitting. When he finally slid into bed next to her, he wanted to draw her into his arms but he wasn’t sure if she wanted to be left alone. She was being so uncharacteristically quiet, but he knew she was awake and he desperately wanted to know what she was thinking about while staring at the wall that way. Taking a chance, he slid his arm around her waist, hoping she wouldn’t tear herself away. She leaned back onto his chest and sighed softly, catching him by surprise but also bringing about relief and pure joy because he knew that sigh was indeed meant for him.

            “Scarlett, did I hurt you before?” he asked softly.

  Not wanting to let him know how badly his words and actions had injured her, she replied, “It doesn’t matter. I’m tired Rhett.”

            “Don’t say that. It does matter, to me. I never wanted to be the one who hurt you.”

She turned to face him and snuggled up to his chest.

“I know,” she murmured, letting him off the hook because she knew this was the only kind of honest apology she was going to get from Rhett, and then she closed her eyes, pretending to fall asleep but knowing it would be a while until she truly could.

Rhett kissed the top of her head, embraced her tightly and closed his eyes as well.

In the middle of the night, Scarlett opened her eyes, no longer able to keep them shut because she couldn’t be more wide awake due to the meddling thoughts which wouldn’t leave her mind. At first the darkness was blinding, but her eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of light until she could see perfectly well. She watched Rhett sleep and thought he couldn’t look more peaceful or endearing than when he was sleeping. Hesitantly, she swept the jet black hair that had fallen to his brow to the side and gently grazed his cheek with the back of her index finger. Thankful that he hadn’t stirred, she lightly laid her head onto his chest and audibly whispered, “I love you.”   

 When he was sure she had fallen back asleep, Rhett’s dark eyes flashed open and he restrained the sudden urge he had to wake her adoringly with his kisses.

***~Chapter 10~***

Woken by the sun’s beaming rays that heated her face, Scarlett turned her body towards Rhett’s side of the bed expecting to be greeted by his warm body, but instead she found herself lying face-down on the icy and empty sheets. Abruptly, Scarlett opened her eyes and sat up, fully realizing that she was alone. Although uncertain as to why, she felt a stab of anxiety and nervousness overwhelm her. If he’d gone again, she wouldn’t forgive him. It was one thing to leave her for no reason when she at least knew about it, but it was something completely different if he ran away in the middle of the night without any explanation.  Hatred began to penetrate into her heart where not two minutes before had she wished to open her eyes to his handsome face.

Before she had time to act on any of the ploys of revenge which were circling through her mind, Rhett sauntered into the room carrying a breakfast tray in his hands and the frown on her face curved into a smile. He smiled warmly in return when he saw how her face lit up at his entrance, brought the tray over to the bed, and laid it down in front of her. He then took her face gently in both of his hands and gave her what she thought would be a quick peck but what turned into a long passionate kiss, and she was faintly disappointed when he eventually pulled away. When he saw the look on her face he wanted to laugh, but he managed to hold it in. He would have gladly taken her right then and there, but he controlled himself because there were a few things he still had planned for Scarlett and some things he needed answers to before he would allow his emotions to take over him.

            “I was hoping you’d still be asleep by the time I got back,” Rhett said sitting down next to her on the bed.

            “You were?” she answered softly, looking down at the tray and noticing the freshly picked white and violet iris.

            “Well I didn’t want you to wake to find that I wasn’t there, thinking god knows what.”

He was grinning but she didn’t notice because she refused to look at him.

            “I didn’t think anything of it,” she mumbled while playing with the stem of the flower.

Chuckling he responded, “When will you learn that you are a terrible liar Scarlett. So what was it then? I’m quite curious actually. Why did you think I’d gone, obviously you did not think it was to fetch your breakfast.”

            “I didn’t know why. I just was surprised that you were gone.”

            “I suppose you were relieved to see me walk back into room,” he said while placing his hand on hers, the one that was still fiddling with the flower.

She finally looked at him and caught him smiling charmingly, and she couldn’t help but smile back at him.

            “I was, until now,” she teased.

            “Oh don’t say that,” he said then laughed, lifting her dainty white hand up to his mouth, running his lips over each and every finger before turning it over and placing soft kisses in the palm of her hand.

She shivered slightly at his electric touch, wanting to pull her hand away when his lips travelled up to her wrist, for fear that he would notice how her pulse quickened.

Between kisses he said, “And what do you think of the breakfast I’ve brought you?”

            “I love it,” she answered cheerfully; grateful that he was changing topics and hoping he would release her arm so that she could think more clearly, which was relatively impossible when he kissed her tenderly like this.

            “Do you?” he said then chuckled. “And what about the flower I picked just for you? You know, I believe you’re the only woman I’ve ever picked flowers for.”

            “It’s lovely Rhett. You really went and picked it just for me?” she said her green eyes glistening.

            “Only for you,” he murmured, still caressing her hand and the inside of her arm.

Scarlett was slightly confused by his behavior. Although there were those times where he was loving and tender, he never went out of his way to say how he felt. In fact, he often kept his true emotions under tight rein, so she wondered why he was being so open with her now. She decided that perhaps he felt guilty for what he’d done the other day and was trying to make amends for his unwarranted overreaction.

Pulling his lips away from her creamy skin, he looked her in the eyes in that same penetrating way and asked, “And what about the person who brought you your breakfast and that flower? What do you think about him?”

She bit her lip nervously and lowered her gaze as she felt the apples of her cheeks grow warmer.

He was trying to give her an opening to tell him how she genuinely felt because he truly needed to hear those words said to him, intentionally, more than anything he’d ever needed or desired before. He was still puzzled as to why she had tried to keep her love concealed because she was the type of woman who went after what she wanted, so he assumed pride prevented her from acknowledging her true feelings just as it did him. Even though he knew that if he told her how he felt that she would probably admit the same in return,  there was still that little voice at the back of his mind telling him that the moment he told her he loved her, she would use it like a whip over his head and no longer want him anymore. By luring her into confessing, which he fully intended on accomplishing, he could still maintain the upper hand. 

Eventually, Scarlett looked back at him with a girlish grin and answered, “I think he’s darling. I only wonder how long it will last this time.”

He laughed loudly in response, thinking that she was going to make this much harder for him than he previously thought.  Finally releasing her arm and picking up the fork on the tray, he began feeding her breakfast like he would a child. He would have to think up some other clever methods into getting Scarlett to confess her true feelings.

***

During their morning together, the conversation was kept light and carefree, mostly because Rhett was preoccupied with finding other tactics at enticing Scarlett to profess her love and because their train for Atlanta was leaving early that afternoon, so they still had last minute packing to do which did not leave much time for heartfelt discussions. Before leaving the hotel, Rhett noticed that Scarlett placed the iris he’d given her in one of her bags and he wanted to kiss and tell her how much he loved her right then and there, but he couldn’t because he had to wait for the most opportune moment and to stick to his original plan. She needed to say it first, and he couldn’t allow himself to change his mind.

While in their private cart on the train to Atlanta, Rhett planned on telling Scarlett that he would be building them a house and that they would be living in the National Hotel bridal suite until their home was completed. He hoped she would be delighted by the news because there was no way in hell that he was living under the same roof as her aunt Pitty.  He was genuinely pleased by how thrilled she was when he told her the news, both finally agreeing on something, and then he was equally horrified when she told him what kind of home she wanted built.

            “You really want a house like that?” he asked, hoping he could somehow persuade her to change her mind because this was not at all the kind of home he wanted to be living in.

            “Oh yes! I want everyone who’s been mean to me to be pea green with envy,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes at the thought of how jealous people would be of her home.

            “Don’t you think they are envious enough as it is? You did after all marry the wealthiest bachelor in Atlanta. There’s no need to rub it in their faces,” he said with a grin.

She rolled her eyes. “You? If anyone is jealous it’s all those men who were just waiting for the chance to court me until you came along and—”   

            “Whisked you away before they had the chance,” he interrupted quickly, laughter clearly lingering in his voice. “I have no doubt about that,” he finished, taking her hand gently in his and rubbing his thumb along the back of it.

She cleared her throat nervously and contemplated pulling back her hand.

            “Do you not like my ideas for our home?” she asked trying to ignore what he was doing to her hand.

            “No, but if this is what you want you shall have it. However, did you not also want to be a great lady? This would not be the way to go about it.”

            “Whatever are you going on about?” she asked carelessly.

            “Do you think the old guard wants to be reminded of their poverty and our ill-gotten money? Flaunting our wealth will only be a constant reminder to them as to why we are scalawags, and as it is, we’ll be lucky if we aren’t spit upon.”

            “How you do run on,” she said, barely listening to his words. “I don’t care what they think of me, but if you don’t like my ideas, maybe we could come to a compromise.”

            “A compromise?” he said with a raised brow.

            “Well, it’ll be our home. You should like it too I suppose.”

He laughed loudly then kissed the back of her hand, tickling her with his mustache.

            “You are a constant joy to me. You never seem to stop surprising me.”  

She only responded by giving him a satisfied smirk.

***

It was late that evening by the time they reached their destination and hotel room. During the length of their train ride, Rhett hadn’t tried any attempts at getting her to confess her love because he had a strategy that he planned on putting in motion tonight. When they got into the hotel room, Rhett opened up one of his bags and handed Scarlett a wrapped package. Ecstatic, she grabbed it out of his hand and was about to open it until he stopped her.

            “I want you to put that on tonight, in the other room, after I help you undress.”

She blushed, not knowing what exactly she would have to wear for him, but she nodded her head in agreement and allowed him to help her undress, slightly shivering in anticipation and anxiety as he unlaced her.

Rhett was sitting on the bed, waiting for Scarlett to emerge from the other room, and when she did, he took in a quick breath and muttered, “My god,” under his breath.

She came out of the room in a sheer white silk nightgown that clung to all her curves, flowed out at her hips, and ended above the knee. This was definitely the most revealing thing she’d ever worn, and she felt vaguely uncomfortable standing in front of him as he watched her with that hot leaping light in his eyes.  

 He walked over to her and placed both his hands on her bare shoulders and whispered, “You’re stunning,” before running his hands up her exposed neck until he had her face in his hands and then drawing her in for a kiss.  

 Her eyes closed and her hands instinctively went around his neck, pulling him closer to her, but then his lips broke away from hers and travelled down her neck.

            “Scarlett, I need you to tell me,” he whispered into the side of her neck between feather-light kisses.

            “What?” she asked, not really listening because she was overwhelmed by this warm tide.

            “I need you to tell me how you feel about me,” he implored softly, still exploring her neck with his lips.

            “I don’t know what you mean,” she answered, running her hands through his hair and suddenly finding his arms wrapped around her waist.

His hands went up into her hair and he began pulling out the pins until her raven locks came cascading down wildly around her shoulders as he said, “Tell me why, when I run my hands through your hair, your breath catches in your throat.”

Her heart was pulsating so quickly she was sure he could hear it, and she moved her hands away from his hair to grip his shoulders to steady herself.

“Tell me why your heart races when I kiss your neck,” he murmured as his lips then moved up her neck to right below her jaw where he could feel her pulse beating rapidly, the warmth of his breath burning her skin. “Or tell me why you shudder involuntarily when I touch you,” he continued, sliding one hand from her waist down her thigh.

            “Rhett…please,” she whispered.

            “Scarlett, you need to tell me.”

She opened her eyes reluctantly to look up at him.

            “You know… don’t you?” she asked, panicking internally.

Feigning ignorance he said, “What is it that I know?”  

            “Oh god,” she sighed, realizing it was all over.

            “I need to hear you say it,” he murmured, his heart racing excitedly in anticipation for her declaration.

              “Rhett I… can’t,” she mumbled, her voice cracking at the end.

 Pulling her body in roughly, he kissed her passionately and her lips melted in that instant. Her body was molded to his, and her breathing came in sporadic gasps when his lips moved away and lay poised just above hers.

            “Don’t you know how I feel about you? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this day Scarlett? How long I wanted to be the face you saw when you closed your eyes and not—tell me,” he said huskily. “Tell me before I—”

            “I love you,” she said looking up at him and running her fingers over his cheek with affection.  

Rhett drew in a deep breath, and before she knew what was happening, she was being lifted into his arms and carried over to the bed.

He was straddled on top of her, brushing his lips all over her exposed and shivering skin, running his hands all over her body, and pulling at the fabric of her dress when he implored, “Say it again.”

She giggled. “I love you.”

His lips found hers again and she grew faintly worried that he would not say it back to her, but then his lips broke away from hers once more and he was looking down at her with the light dancing in his dark eyes, his usual carefully placed mask nowhere in sight.

            “I love you Scarlett. I loved you the moment I saw you at Twelve Oaks. I’ve loved you for so long and I only hoped—I never thought you would— I loved you for years before I finally got you. I love you so much, and I would have killed Frank Kennedy if he hadn’t died when he did, just to have you.”

Stunned by his words, Scarlett lifted her back up from the bed and placed both her hands gently on the sides of his face. She knew how much it hurt to love someone who didn’t love you back, or in this case, who you thought didn’t love you back, but she could not imagine how it must have felt spending years aching that way.

For the very first time, Scarlett shakily initiated a kiss then murmured “Rhett, show me how you feel,” and grinning, his heart beating out of his chest, he eagerly complied.    

***~Chapter 11~***

 If possible, Scarlett was more nervous now then she’d been on their wedding night. The knowledge that Rhett loved her seemed to only heighten her senses and his every touch affected her even more than it had previously, which was saying something. His hands caressed every inch of her body, leaving goose bumps all over her skin, and she couldn’t help but quiver and intake deep breaths of air. Rhett chuckled softly at how she responded to him, feeling utterly stupid for not having realized she loved him earlier.  Her arms were snaked around his neck, her hands running through his silky jet black hair, until she brought them down to his chest to unbutton his shirt, this time around managing without Rhett’s help to pull it down his shoulders, though she was still trembling just as much as she had the first night they’d spent together.

  With his body pressing up against her as his one arm wrapped around her waist the other wound in her thick locks, she let her body fall back completely onto the bed, her head resting on the pillow. When his hands moved down to rip off the now encumber some nightgown, her hand swiftly came out stop him as she whispered, “Don’t.”

Rhett gave her a puzzled look. “Why? It’s served its purpose don’t you think?”

            “I like it,” she said with a smile, looking up at him.

            “I’ll buy you another.”

            “No. I like _this_ one.”

He chuckled softly, brushing his fingers across her cheek.

            “I never knew about this need for mementos,” he murmured, now gliding the silk up to her waist, causing her to shiver once more. “I know you kept the flower.”

            “Oh,” she said breathlessly, flushing and bringing her hands up to her face in embarrassment.

            “No, don’t hide your face Scarlett, ” he whispered as his lips left burning trails from her collar bone, up the length of her neck, and along her jaw until reaching her parted mouth. “It’s one of the sweetest things you’ve ever done,” he finished, before kissing her with gradual intensity.

Breaking their kiss, he once again took the silk gown into his hands, and she raised her arms as he slid it up over her head and tossed it carelessly to the floor. She was enveloped by his body, his flesh searing hers as he pulled her even tighter into his warm embrace. His lips gently grazed the hollow of her throat and ever so slowly reached her mouth, and then he pulled away for an instant, leaving her in anxious doubt. Opening her eyes and seeing the passion but also the glint of uncertainty in his gaze, she reassuringly whispered, “I love you Rhett,” and then she was overcome by his kiss and ravenous hands and pulled into a dizzying dream that she never wanted to end.

 Roused by the tickling Scarlett felt at the back of her neck causing the small hairs to stand on end, she reluctantly opened her eyes and realized Rhett was waking her with his feather-light kisses.  She smiled, no longer annoyed for having been woken from her dream because the reality that she was faced with now was so much better than any fantasy she could come up with. Rhett’s arm was draped across her hip and wrapped around her waist with his hand resting on her bare stomach, and she placed her hand softly on top of his, intertwining their fingers.

            “You’re awake,” he breathed.

            “You made sure of that.”

            “Are you complaining?” he asked grinning, but while pulling his hand and arm away from her.

She giggled, and then he turned her body towards him so that she was now facing him.

            Taking her index finger and running it over his chest, she looked up at him then murmured, “No.”      

He chuckled softly, clasping her hand and bringing up to his lips.

            “I’ve been watching you sleep for a while now, wanting you to wake up. I couldn’t sleep.”

            “Why?” she asked, concern tingeing her voice.

            “I couldn’t stop thinking—I need to know something. How long have you been in love with me?” 

His eyes were dancing, waiting eagerly for her reply, and she knew he wouldn’t allow her shy away from the question, though it puzzled her as to why he needed this information so badly.

            “I—um—it’s been a while,” she answered, looking away from his searching eyes.

            “How long? Before we got married?” he pressed on.

            “Yes.”

He took in a deep breath, then sat up straight and ran a hand quickly through his tousled hair.

            “Before or after I came back from England?”

            “Before. When you proposed,” she gave in, watching him, bewildered.

 He laughed, but it was not a pleasant laugh. “We’ve managed to waste a lot of time. Why didn’t you tell me?”

            “I thought you would laugh at me,” Scarlett said sheepishly, looking away.

            “Oh god,” he muttered, pulling her tightly against him, kissing the top of her head. “This is my fault. I should have—you’ve loved me all this time and you haven’t said anything for fear I’d laugh at you? I assumed it was pride or—when you said you loved me that day I proposed, you meant it didn’t you?”

She nodded her head. “And then you were so mean to me, and I couldn’t let you know so…I lied.”

            “I’m an idiot,” he said bitterly.

            “I won’t disagree with you,” she replied with a smirk and he chuckled.

            “Well that proposal could have taken a much better turn than it did. I don’t even think I could’ve brought myself to leave you had I known.”

            “Lucky for you, you have a lifetime to make it up to me,” she answered cheekily, giving him a quick peck on his lips. “Rhett, why didn’t you tell me you loved me?” she asked, now curious. 

He had never said nor done anything that ever made her assume he could have possible loved her, nothing that she had noticed anyway. In fact, he had gone out of the way to do just the opposite. He had told her that he  could only feel for her what he would feel for a friend but that he did want her body, so she wondered why he felt the need to keep everything he had truly felt a secret.

He gave her this look that seemed to say: _do you really have to ask? ,_ and then it dawned on her.

            “Ashley,” she whispered, afraid the mere mention of his name would cause him to turn cold.

            “Yes, Ashley. It drove me crazy knowing you cared for him. I thought that by marrying you I could erase him from your mind and that you might come to love me with time, but it appears as if you beat me to it.”

He chuckled softly and she was glad to hear the light humor return to his voice.

            “I also couldn’t let you use my love against me Scarlett; you’re so brutal to those who love you, so I did what I could to hide my love from you.”

She sat up straight, covering herself with the sheet, and moved her body to the side so that she was no longer touching his bare skin.

            “That’s not true. I never would have hurt you,” she said softly but assertively, not wanting to believe herself as he had described her, hurting the ones who loved her.

             “Scarlett, don’t pull away,” he said reaching for her.

            “No, don’t touch me. You think I’m horrible.”

Struck by her words, he made no attempt to touch her.

            “I don’t think you’re horrible, I just know you Scarlett. I know you better than perhaps you know yourself. I know you because you’re just like me.”

Because she was not moved by his words and because she looked away stubbornly, he continued, “Don’t you think there is even the slightest possibility that you would have held my love over my head if you hadn’t figured out you loved me? Did it never cross your mind before, the thought of punishing me if I ever told you I loved you?”

Rhett was watching her alertly, hoping his words were having some affect because the last thing he wanted to do was quarrel with her. Wordlessly, she was thinking over what he had said. Although she wanted to pretend as if she’d never thought of bringing him down a peg by using his love against him, she had on a few occasions, and that thought had once given her some twisted pleasure. 

            “I suppose it had, at some point, crossed my mind,” she said reluctantly, annoyed by how well he knew her.

He refrained from laughing outright though he wanted to, quite badly, but he only said, while grinning, “Get back over here.”

Complying, she laid her head upon his chest, and he closed his arms around her, locking her to him. She relished the warmth of being wrapped up in Rhett’s arms, forgetting why she’d been upset in the first place.

***

Having been at their suite for two days, they received their fist callers, Melanie and Ashley, in the afternoon of their third day back from New Orleans. When they had gone to greet the Wilkes’, Rhett had clasped his arm possessively around Scarlett’s waist, not wanting to let her go for an instant in Ashley’s company, being so determined not to let her go that Scarlett had to pinch him for him to drop his arm so that she could go to hug Melanie. His eyes were glowering fiercely when Ashley gave Scarlett a chaste peck on her cheek, and when Scarlett caught his gaze, she gave him a warning look to behave himself. Rhett had offered Ashley a drink before going to sit down on the long couch with the rest of them, which Ashley had respectably declined, so Rhett had gone and poured himself one, silently cursing the little gentleman.

            “So dear, how was New Orleans?” Melanie asked sweetly.

            “Oh it was wonderful Melly, and so exciting,” Scarlett said energetically, remembering how much fun she’d had. “You and Ashley must take a trip there when you get the chance.”

Rhett sat down next to Scarlett, drink in hand, and he wanted to laugh outright, knowing they certainly would not enjoy visiting such a place. Catching Ashley’s eyes on him, Rhett put down his drink and took Scarlett’s hand in his, placing a velvet kiss on the back of it. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, and he only smiled devilishly back at her, his white teeth gleaming, and then she looked back towards Melanie.

             Smiling, Melanie said, “I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself Scarlett. You seem so much happier now.”

            “Yes our Scarlett here has quite thoroughly relished her new found marital bliss, haven’t you my pet?” Rhett said, his black eyes dancing mischievously. 

Scarlett looked back up at him, blushing and annoyed, but when she saw the merriment in his eyes she wanted to laugh. He was definitely enjoying himself.

            “I have,” she replied with a smile.

Ashley’s cheeks grew pink, and he looked away from the happy couple. Rhett smirked, satisfied, and Scarlett shot him an irritated look. Melanie only smiled kindly, not even noticing Ashley’s discomfort because she was too thrilled at how happy her sister finally was after witnessing months of her quiet melancholy.         

            “How have the mills been Ashley?” Scarlett asked, hoping that two weeks hadn’t given him sufficient time to destroy what she had worked so hard at establishing.

He smiled gratefully for the change in subject and replied, “They’re fine. I’ve done the best I could while you were away. I’m sure everything will run much more smoothly now that you’re back.”

 Rhett had taken a sip of his drink then coughed shortly at Ashley’s ridiculous reply while Scarlett grinned at the compliment, knowing this to definitely be the truth.

            “I don’t know how soon Scarlett will be returning to work Mr. Wilkes. She has the planning of our new home that’s bound to take up a lot of her time, isn’t that right love?”

Rhett was watching her intently, daring her to deny it, knowing what he would say if she did.

            “Yes, well, I will be quite busy, but I do plan on dropping by the mills to check over things.”

            “But honey, we don’t want you to take on too much at once,” Rhett said with a convincing look of concern on his face. “I don’t know if I could bear it if you wore yourself out, my dear.”

            “Oh darling, you worry too much about me,” Scarlett said looking at him with pleading eyes, begging him to stop, and then he chuckled softly and brushed his lips over the back of her soft hand once more.

            “Oh yes dear, do promise to be careful,” Melanie said in a worried tone. “A new home does sound so exciting though. Where will you be building your home?”

            “I’ve bought us the lot on Peachtree Street,” Rhett answered with a genuine smile directed at Melanie.

            “How lovely. Isn’t it lovely Ashley?”

            “It is Melanie,” he said tersely, his hands in tense fists on his lap.

“You’ll be living so close to us and Aunt Pitty as well, oh Scarlett I’m so happy. We’ll still be able to see each other just as often.”

Melanie’s face was filled with joy and Scarlett couldn’t help but smile at her warmly, thankful that she had someone else who loved her just as much as Rhett did.

***

When Melanie and Ashley took leave of the Butlers, Melanie couldn’t help but state how content she was to find the new couple so happy.

            “Oh Ashley, they are so in love. Isn’t it wonderful?” she said, placing her hand in the crook of his elbow as they walked home together.

He nodded his head in reply, but he clenched his jaw in frustration.

“It’s so nice to see her happy. I think we should have been more supportive of this marriage from the start,” Melanie continued.

“You really believe she is happy Melanie?” he asked softly.

“Why of course Ashley. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in such high spirits.”

And with that, they walked home, Ashley in reflective silence as Melanie was cheerfully going on about her dear sister.

***

Rhett was grateful when they finally said their goodbyes and when the docile Mr. Wilkes was out of his sight, just as grateful as Ashley had been to leave. Scarlett also felt slightly relieved when they’d gone because she did not know how long Rhett would be able to restrain himself from flinging obvious gibes Ashley’s way, though up until they’d departed, he’d been deceptive enough as not to make them too noticeable, but Scarlett was sure Ashley had caught at least a few of them.

Rhett sat in his chair smoking a cigar with a wide grin on his face when Scarlett approached him, one hand on her hip and her emerald eyes reproving him.

            “Rhett, did you have to do that?”

He laughed and, feigning ignorance, asked, “Do what?”

            “You know what,” she said firmly.

            “I suppose I do,” he answered, smirking, clearly amused.

            “You’re mighty proud of yourself aren’t you?”

            “Yes, and why not?”

            “Rhett! You made a grown man blush,” she said frustrated.

 He laughed loudly. “Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me. I will definitely be replaying that moment in my mind.”

He chuckled again then looked at her, seeing that she was evidently not impressed by his behavior.  “By the way, very good acting on your part Mrs. Butler. I was surprised to see you play the doting wife so flawlessly.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and went to stand right in front of him.

            “I think you know by now that I am a horrible actress,” she answered then took a seat on his lap.

            “And what exactly does that mean?” he asked, his eyes boring into hers.

She ran her hand through his hair tenderly before answering, “I think you know what that means.”

 “So why don’t you say it?”

“After today? I don’t think you deserve it,” she teased.

He chuckled, put out his cigar, then took her chin gently into his hands, looking deeply into her two glimmering green eyes and said, “I love you.”

She placed her two hands behind his neck and giggled, “I know,” before pulling him in for a kiss.  

***~Chapter 12~***

Scarlett was very busy with the building and decorating of her new home, but she still managed to find the time to stop by the store and mills to look over the books and make sure everything was running smoothly.  Although Rhett approved of her businesses and was proud to have smart wife, he was never comfortable with Scarlett’s proximity to Ashley when she went to the mills or with the fact that they would be relatively alone in an office when she chose to go to the mills. Sometimes he would ask to accompany her on these trips, to which she would surprisingly agree to. He’d sit in the corner, watching them until she finished, and then they would return home together.

Rhett knew his unexpected presence disturbed Ashley to no end, which only motivated him to keep coming back. He was thoroughly entertained by Ashley’s discomfort and embarrassment when he was in the room, and he often wondered how Ashley behaved when he wasn’t present. He hoped Scarlett had enough sense to discourage him if he ever spoke any words of endearment, but he couldn’t be certain. Whenever he was present, she only showed Ashley the slightest sisterly kindness, but then again, she herself was not completely comfortable when he and Ashley were in the same room. He assumed the only reason she allowed him to accompany her was because she wanted to show him that she no longer harbored any feelings for Ashley, and while this was part of the reason, what he didn’t know was that she liked having him around, even when he was spying on her from the corner of the room. Rhett hated the fact that his jealousy was still ignited when the blond gentlemen was present because he knew Scarlett loved him and that she truly belonged to him and only him now, but this old habit and these feelings of jealousy were difficult to repress. Occasionally the thought that Ashley could ensnare Scarlett again with his words when they were alone came to mind, and so he made an effort to keep these encounters as infrequent as possible.

 Scarlett was well aware of Rhett’s jealousy, and although she found it endearing at times, it also irritated her at other times, such as when he questioned her after she returned from the mills. She knew he was genuinely interested in how her day had been, but she also knew that he wanted to know what had transpired between her and Ashley. She would often tell him exactly how her day had gone just to placate him, but at other times, when she’d been annoyed by his relentless questioning, she would tell him that it was none of his business to which he would reply that if she had nothing to hide, she would have no reason not to answer his simple questions calmly. At this, she would explode then pout for the rest of the evening, but their rifts were usually short lived and mended by the end of the night.   

   One evening, after one of their heated arguments, Scarlett stormed out of the room, hurried to their bedroom and violently slammed the door. Of course Rhett had refused to quarrel. He had only watched as she had worked herself up into a frenzy then laughed when she’d hurled angry insults his way, which he had easily outmatched. His calm manner only infuriated her because it made her feel weak for not having been able to keep her emotions under a tight lid they way he seemed to be able to do.  When Rhett nonchalantly strolled into the room, Scarlett was opening the drawers and cupboard doors then crashing them closed fiercely, and he chuckled softly at the sight.

            “I hardly think that’s fair Scarlett. You know very well those items can’t defend themselves,” Rhett said with a smirk.

She shot him furious look, her glittering green eyes burning with rage.

            “Go to hell!”

He made his way over to her, laughing, and said, “Gladly, if you’ll be joining me.”

 He was smiling wickedly, his perfect white teeth shining, and she stopped what she was doing to look at him.

 _God he’s handsome_ , she thought then hated herself for being so weak. How easy it was for him to make her forget her rage when he smiled at her that way or when he touched her softly _. He always wins, but not this time_ , she thought, determined.

“I hate you,” she said icily, hoping that would wipe away his smile, though it was hard for her to say aloud because it certainly was not true.

 He was momentarily stunned by her words because it had been a long time since she’d said that she hated him. In fact, since she’d said she loved him, she hadn’t once uttered that she hated him. Although she had thrown quite a variety of insults his way during their marriage, this particular one seemed to have escaped her vocabulary.

            “Well, I think we both know that’s not true,” he said silkily, walking towards her again.

            “Stop! I don’t want you anywhere near me. Would you please leave.”

He ignored her and laughed. “Why? Are you afraid?”

            “You’ll never frighten me Rhett Butler! I just don’t want to be around you right now. I hate you,” she cried out, though he was so close to her that he only had to put out his hand in order to be able to touch her, and if she were being honest with herself, she was losing her resolve.

 He quickly had his hands roughly clasped around her shoulders. “Why must you lie? You know I can see through you.”

She knew he was right and it drove her insane. For once, just once, she would have liked to have the upper hand. She tried to push him away, with no luck, and his laughter only spurred her on to try harder. She furiously clawed at his chest so that he would release her, and then with one quick swipe of her hand, she accidentally tore open his shirt, sending a few buttons across the room.

Rhett looked down at his now exposed chest. “Did you just rip open my shirt?”

            “Um, yes,” she said sheepishly, biting down on her lower lip.

He laughed so loudly that Scarlett couldn’t help but join in.

            “Well that’s one way to go about it,” he said with a sly smile.

            “What?” she asked confused, and then she saw his devious smile. “Oh! Don’t presume-,” she started but was cut off by his smooth demanding lips.

 Instantaneously, her lips melted under his, yielding completely to the tremor his touch was sending up and down her spine and to the feelings and butterflies he was evoking with his caressing mouth and tongue. He lifted her up to the dresser in one swoop, pushing her skirts up around her waist, her legs instinctively wrapping around his hips.  She unbuttoned what was still left on his shirt, pulling it down his shoulders and off his arms, her hands running over the hard surface of his chest. He chuckled softly, his warm breath burning the side of her neck.

            “If you wanted it off so badly, you only needed to ask,” he whispered, his hands grazing the inside of her thighs all the way up to the top of her silk stockings, and then slowly sliding his warm hands down her leg, bringing the stockings down with them.

She giggled lightly and hit his chest playfully, no longer caring that Rhett had out played her once again. She let her head fall back, her eyes closed and her hands lost in his hair as his lips moved down her throat to the soft bare skin just above her heart, causing her to flush faintly.

            “Rhett,” she sighed, entranced by his caressing hands and lips as they sent jolts of electricity through her body.

That was all the encouragement he needed before he swung her into his arms and carried her over to the bed, layers of clothing flying to the floor, their bodies molding together.

  As she lay drowsily in his arms in the middle of the night, both still awake, Scarlett couldn’t help but say, “You know I hate you for this.”

He grinned. “For what?”

            “For making me love you so much that you can actually make me forget my anger.”

Rhett chuckled softly and drew her body even closer to his.

            “You always win, don’t you?” she continued, smiling now.

            “I like to think we both won,” he said smoothly and she rolled her eyes. “But if you prefer, I could let you win once and a while, if it will make you happy.”

            “No thank you. I don’t need you to _let_ me win. I think I like it better this way anyhow.”

He laughed lightly, and then gave her a sweet kiss before both of them finally fell asleep in the warmth of each other’s arms.

***

Once they were completely settled in their new home, Scarlett began preparing for the party she was eager to host.  Even though she wanted to throw a lavishly grand party, Rhett had persuaded her to throw a more sociably acceptable kind of event because he did not want her feelings to be hurt when the members of the old guard she had invited refused her invitations. Although she couldn’t understand why people would refuse an invitation to what she thought would be the best event since the war that anyone would be privileged enough to be invited too, she grudgingly decided to follow Rhett’s instincts because he seemed to understand these people. Luckily, both the new and old society people made an appearance to her gathering, but many only came because they felt indebted to Rhett or because of Melanie’s prodding.  Either way, Scarlett was only interested in having fun at this party.

Throughout the night, Scarlett had kept to Rhett’s side, but then later on in the evening, she had found herself alone, getting a glass of champagne. She looked around and noticed that Rhett was now surrounded by a group of new society women and that he was obviously putting on the charm because they were giggling foolishly. As she was watching him with annoyance because she did not enjoy the way he was carrying on with those women, Rhett felt her stare and his eyes caught hers. He smiled and gave her a wink, but she quickly turned her face away in frustration, irritated for feeling this way and for having been caught staring. He gave her an odd look, but then carried on his conversation.

Scarlett took a long sip of champagne then placed the flute back on the table and turned around when a hand lightly touched her shoulder.

            “Ashley,” she said with a smile.

He smiled back, his soft grey eyes kind. “Scarlett, I’ve finally found you alone. You’re very popular this evening.”

She cleared her throat uncomfortably, remembering that she still hadn’t told him in so many words that she no longer cared for him, but thinking that he should have realized it by now after seeing how happily married she was. Of course it was not an easy subject for her to bring up, especially when she preferred to pretend as if she’d never loved him since she truly couldn’t remember why she had loved him in the first place. Even now, seeing him tonight, she wondered what she had found so appealing about him.

            “Oh, I don’t know about that. Are you having a good time?”

            “Of course, my dear. It has been a while since we’ve been to a gathering as pleasant as this one.”

She smiled sweetly. “That’s nice of you to say Ashley. Melanie does look lovely tonight, doesn’t she?” she continued, hoping he might get the hint if she complimented Melanie.

            “Yes she does, and so do you,” he answered softly, moving closer to her.

She was wearing a gown made of jade taffeta that accentuated her slender waist and brought out the emerald in her eyes.

            “Oh Ashley, you flatter me, but thank you. Rhett had this dress made just for me.”

The happy light died out of his eyes at the mention of Rhett’s name, but he tried to hide it.

            “Scarlett, there’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you I—”

            “Mr. Wilkes. How good it is too see you,” Rhett said over zealously. “You don’t mind if I steal Scarlett away for a moment, do you?” he asked, though it was quite obvious that he wasn’t asking for his permission.

Before Ashley even had the chance to nod, Scarlett was being pulled away to a secluded corner by Rhett’s iron arm, which was tightly wrapped around her waist.

            “You two seemed to be having an awfully intimate talk,” Rhett said with barely suppressed venom in his voice.

             “Until you came along,” Scarlett answered as she tried to push his hand down from her waist, without any luck.

Rhett’s eyes were glowing with rage. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?”

            “Only the charming conversation you were having with your little friends over there. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather continue making a fool of yourself instead of standing here with me?” Scarlett said resentfully, thinking that he had no right to be jealous of Ashley when he went around flirting with other women right in front her.

Rhett chuckled softly. “Ah, so that was the reason for your little scowl before, I was wondering.”

            “I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said trying to sound indifferent, though a rosy pink crept onto her cheeks.

            “You’re jealous,” he said with frank amusement, the laughter dancing in his eyes.

            “Oh, don’t flatter yourself! I’m not jealous.”

            “Come Scarlett,” he pleaded. “Don’t take this away from me.”

His smile was so captivating that she found herself smiling back up at him.

            “How you do run on.”

He leaned in, laughing lightly. “Fine, don’t admit it, but I know the truth,” he murmured then went to kiss her, but she stopped him.

            “Rhett don’t. Somebody might see,” she said quietly, looking around the room and finding a few eyes on them.

He grinned. “I don’t care if everyone is watching,” he answered smoothly before putting his hand under her chin and placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

 Ashley turned his face away at the public display of affection, and then he made his way back to his wife’s side.

***

One afternoon, a few weeks after the party, Scarlett hadn’t been feeling well and she’d gone to see Dr. Meade who had informed her that she was expecting a baby. At first, she was shocked and indignant at the thought of having another baby, especially at a time when she was truly enjoying her life and when she was finally pleased with the size of her waistline, but then when she thought about it more carefully on her way home, the idea of having Rhett’s child did not seem as horrific as it had initially. Although she was not overly fond of children, having Rhett’s child did not seem like as much of a burden as it had in her previous marriages, not to mention that the thought of how pleased he would be at the news brought a look of pure joy to her face.

Scarlett knew how much Rhett loved children, especially babies. She could see how fond he was of fatherhood just in the way he treated her children, and she grew excited at the thought of telling Rhett he was going to have a child of his own. Wondering how she was going to tell him the news because she knew she wanted it to be special, Scarlett surprisingly realized that she was somewhat pleased by the news as well. _Maybe that’s why women are so happy to have babies, because they actually love their husbands,_ she thought, thinking that maybe she had never wanted Wade or Ella because she’d had no affection for their fathers.

When she walked into the house, Rhett was already heading for the front door, and she ran into his arms, wrapping her hands around his neck and kissing him on the cheek excitedly. He chuckled lightly, looking at her with genuine affection in his eyes.

            “Well this is an unexpected greeting, but I’m not complaining,” Rhett said smiling.

            “Oh Rhett I missed you. Are you going somewhere?”

            “Yes, unfortunately. I was just on my way out, and I most probably won’t be home for supper.”

            “Oh,” she said looking down at her feet, hoping he wouldn’t notice her disappointment.

He lifted her chin so that she would meet his eyes. “You’re upset?”

            “No, I’m fine,” she answered with a smile, realizing this gave her more time to prepare.

He gave her a quizzical look, wondering why she was behaving oddly, and replied, “You’re lying.”         

            “No, I was just hoping to spend some time with you, that’s all, but it doesn’t matter really. I have things I need to do.”

            “What things? Where exactly have you been all day anyhow?” he asked curiously.

            “You don’t need to know everything. Now I thought you were going somewhere.”

He laughed and pulled her into his arms. “One minute you’re throwing your arms around me, the next you’re pushing me out the door,” Rhett said, amused, and then he kissed her briefly before leaving her for the evening.     

After dining alone with the children and putting them to bed, something she was not quite accustomed to, Scarlett rehearsed the way she would tell Rhett about the baby. It was getting late, and she wondered where he was. He’d said that he wouldn’t be home for supper, but she thought he would have at least been home by now. She grew impatient as she watched the clock, pacing around her room and hoping to hear the sound of the front door opening. When 2 a.m. came around, Scarlett made her way downstairs to wait for Rhett in the dining room. She was faintly worried because he rarely stayed out this late, and she decided that if he wasn’t home within an hour, she would go about finding him.

A half an hour later, Scarlett was relieved to hear the unlocking of the front door, but that relief quickly evaporated and was replaced with indignation. When Rhett saw the glowing of the light in the dining room, he walked in, surprised to find Scarlett waiting up for him.

            “Darling, what are you doing up? I thought you’d be in bed by now,” he said sweetly, though he knew he was in for it just from seeing the way her green eyes had flashed when he’d walked into the room.

            “Don’t call me that,” she said bitterly, feeling stupid for having stayed up for him and for actually having been excited to tell him about their baby.

He moved towards her and said, “Scarlett don’t—”

            “No, stop. Just tell me one thing, and then I’m going up to bed. Where were you tonight?”          

Placing his hand gently onto her shoulder, he whispered, “Scarlett, please—”

 “That’s what I thought,” she said coldly as she stood up abruptly, throwing his hand off her shoulder.

 

***~Chapter 13~***

Scarlett made her way to the entrance of the dining room, taking hurried steps just to get away from Rhett. She couldn’t even look at him. The thought of his hands touching another woman’s bare flesh, his lips devouring a whore’s mouth, it was all too much to stomach, and she felt nauseous. She barely made it past the threshold before Rhett’s hand gripped her arm to stop her.

            “I’m begging you not to do this Scarlett. Please listen to me for a moment,” he pleaded with her as she struggled against his grasp, not caring if her wrist did snap with pain because anything would be better than this moment. She almost wished that she didn’t know, that she hadn’t stayed up for him, just so that she wouldn’t have to face this overwhelming agony that made her want to crumble to the floor and cry.

            “No. I’m tired,” she said avoiding his eyes, and then he pushed her against the wall, his hands now locked on her shoulders. “Let me go!” she cried out irately, losing her resolve to remain hard and emotionless.

            “No. I won’t let you go. Not until you listen. You think I’m going to let you walk away now that I have you and everything I could’ve ever dreamed of? All because—”

            “Obviously that’s a lie or you wouldn’t have—”

            “No it’s not,” he said roughly. “God Scarlett, would you at least look at me?”

            “No. I can’t,” she answered, her voice cracking at the end and she thought she would cry, though she’d rather die than show weakness. 

He felt horrible guilt as he watched her struggle to hold in her tears and he felt like a complete idiot for having left her. He knew he wouldn’t forgive himself if he’d ruined their chance at happiness.

            “Honey please. God I’ve done more begging tonight than I have in the entirety of my life. Look Scarlett, I know where you think I’ve been, and you don’t understand. I—”

 His words pumped up her rage and she glared at him.

“I know where you’ve been and I understand perfectly. What I don’t understand is why you married me at all when all you really want is a whore,” she said, the words dripping with venom.

            “Stop it Scarlett,” he said forcefully, shaking her slightly. “You know I love you. You know I wouldn’t hurt you, which is why I didn’t tell you where I was going. Yes, I did go to Belle’s to socialize, but that’s it. I played cards, I drank, I came home. Do you really think I’d jeopardize what we have for—”

            “Turn me loose! I don’t care to be lied to,” she shrieked, not wanting to hear anymore.

Losing all patience, he forced her to meet his dark eyes, his hands on both sides of her face.                      “Why don’t you trust me?”

            “Why should I? It’s not like you trust me,” she threw back at him.

            “You know it’s him I don’t trust, not you,” Rhett said quickly, his voice hard.

            “I thought that I knew you, but I don’t. I thought that you loved me and I—” she stopped, holding back tears and knowing she’d start to cry if she continued.

            “I do love you,” he murmured, holding her in his arms now and rubbing her back soothingly, thinking she’d begin to shed tears, but she didn’t.

            “I’m tired,” she replied plainly as she backed out of his arms and then began walking up the stairs to their bedroom. Rhett followed silently, wishing the situation had already been resolved, but he hadn’t pushed her further because of that faraway look she’d given him.

 Rhett was keenly observing Scarlett as she slipped off her wrapper then silently climbed into bed. He’d expected stinging hot words to fly from her lips. He’d anticipated a physical attack or even projectile objects flying towards his head, but not this icy demeanor that cut more than any of the words she could have thrown.  After undressing, he got into bed, wondering if she’d order him out of the room, but Scarlett stayed rigid and mute, keeping her back to him.

Scarlett bit her lip in attempt to fight the tears which were struggling to escape from her eyes, biting so hard she could taste the metallic blood that slowly oozed from her inner lip. This aching pain extinguished her anger, though she would have infinitely preferred to fly into a rage than to feel this overwhelming suffering which engulfed all her energy. Salty drops of emotion trickled down the sides of her face despite her endeavor to keep them at bay, and she let out a soft gasp.

Rhett watched as her body evidently shook with silent tears, and he could hear her short intakes of breath. Refusing to endure anymore of this, Rhett’s arm was around Scarlett, pulling her towards his chest.

            “This is ridiculous Scarlett. I will not watch you cry yourself to sleep because of a misunderstanding. Do you hear me?”

            “I don’t miss anything, let me go. You’re the last person I want touching me, after, after…” she couldn’t even say the words aloud.

            “Why must you be so  
stubborn,” he said roughly. “Can’t you believe me when I tell you I’ve been faithful, that I did not inform you on where I was going because I knew how you’d react? Yes, I stayed out later than I’d anticipated because I lost track of time, but it was unintentional. I may be many things Scarlett, but I’m not a fool.”

            “I have to disagree,” she said acidly.

He sighed. “Yes, well this is evidently not my shining moment, but I love you and I would never want to hurt you.”

“Yes, of course. You would have preferred that I hadn’t caught you sneaking back in—”

“Let’s not exaggerate Scarlett. I was not sneaking back—”

“Call it whatever you like!” she cried out, her ire returning to the surface as she ripped herself out of his arms and moved to the extreme end of the bed. “You’re not sorry for… for what you did, you’re only sorry that I found out. Well I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that you ever asked me to marry you. I’ve always known about your relationship with that…that creature—but I just thought that I would be enough.”

  Suddenly, she was torn out of bed, Rhett’s hands fiercely gripping her upper arms, his dark eyes boring into hers so violently that she grew fearful.

            “Damn you. I will not go in circles all night and I will not have you accusing me of something I did not do. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. You’re all I need for the rest of my life. Say you believe me. Say it,” he urged, shaking her slightly.

She realized he was telling her the truth, and while it brought about relief, she was still not satisfied.

            “Fine. I believe you,” she answered then looked away.

            “Now say you forgive me for being an idiot,” he insisted.

            “I forgive you, now let me go.”

He released his grip, and she quickly got back into bed. She allowed him to hold her once he slipped in under the covers but only because it would have been the first night since their honeymoon that she would have spent without his arms wrapped around her, and that thought was unappealing no matter how resentful she was. Rhett realized immediately that Scarlett hadn’t completely forgiven him because she felt like steel in his arms, but he knew that in time the anger would fade and they’d be back to where they were before this unfortunate event occurred.

When Rhett opened his eyes, he was instantaneously aware that his arms were now empty, and he began to worry that he’d underestimated Scarlett’s reluctance to forgive him. He dressed quickly and went in search of her, hoping she was still in the house but had only risen before him, though he knew it was unlikely because he always woke before his wife. After checking with Mammy, who informed him that she’d seen Scarlett leave the house earlier, Rhett balled his hands in to fists, silently cursing himself and thinking that Scarlett had been right to believe him a fool because he was rather thinking the same thing. Maybe he knew why he hadn’t told her where he was going that night, but what he didn’t know was the underlying reason that had prompted his need to go out, especially to that establishment. Perhaps it was the fact that he wanted to prove he could still behave as he wished, even if he was married, but where that sudden need had come from, he wasn’t sure.

Rhett gritted his teeth, hoping Scarlett hadn’t immediately fled to the mills, and therefore, Ashley. If she had, he knew he’d be the only one to blame, which simply made the thought that much worse. He’d checked the store and Aunt Pitty’s without any success, so he was then going to make his way to the Wilkes’, the mills being his last resort because he was not fond of the idea of having to search for Scarlett there, let alone having to debase himself to ask Ashley if he’d seen her if she wasn’t.   

  Meanwhile, as Rhett searched for her, Scarlett sat and shared a morning cup of coffee with Melanie. She knew she must look a fright, her skin so pale and her eyes visibly tired, but she tried to keep up a happy demeanor with Melly. Scarlett desperately wanted to tell her about the baby, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Despite her burning indignation, she knew Rhett should be the first one to hear the happy news, but now he was also the last person she wanted to tell. She wondered if he even cared that she’d snuck away from him. Probably not, but the thought that she’d hurt him the way he’d hurt her seemed to numb the pain. Thinking about how he must have woken up to find that she was not there and that she had run away from him for once, brought a sly smile to her lips.

            “Scarlett, did you hear me?” Melanie asked kindly, bringing Scarlett out of her reverie

            “Oh, I’m sorry Melly, what did you say?” 

            “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem pale darling, are you feeling well?”

            “I’m fine, I’m just, I’m…” she stopped, thinking how easy it would be just to slip her news into the conversation at that moment, but then deciding against it. She then sighed softly and said, “I’m just tired.”

            “Oh, my dear, why didn’t you say anything? And here I am prattling on and on, you should’ve stopped me,” Melanie replied, her brown eyes gentle.

            “Don’t be silly Melly. I just haven’t been sleeping well, that’s all.”

There was a rapping at the door and Melanie stood up, and said, “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back Scarlett. I wonder who it could be.”

            “I think I have a fairly good guess,” Scarlett muttered under her breath, assuming that this might happen, though hoping he would have had the decency to leave her alone. If Rhett made a scene, she would never forgive him.

   When Melanie opened the door to find Rhett, she was rather surprised. For such a large man, she found he looked quite worn and less imposing than she usually found him to be. She wondered if everything was alright at home with the couple because they both had seemed so cheerful until today.

            “Captain Butler, it’s so good to see you. Are you here to pick up Scarlett?” she asked kindly.

So she was here, he thought, alleviated. He was also grateful that Melanie had saved him from having to ask if Scarlett was there.

            He smiled warmly and replied, “Good morning Mrs. Wilkes. I am here to bring Scarlett home, as a matter of fact.”

            “Oh, how kind of you. She’s in the parlor, and I believe she’ll be happy to see that you’re here. She seems quite tired.”

Rhett followed Melanie, knowing he’d be the last person Scarlett would want to see, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t go another minute like this, not after they’d been so blissful. As he walked into the room, he saw her body stiffen and her eyes darken coolly.

            “My darling, I’m here as promised, to bring you home,” Rhett said smoothly, brushing a light kiss across her cheek, not being able to resist.

 Standing up, she walked over and hugged Melanie goodbye, pretending Rhett hadn’t even spoken to her, and then she walked out of the house. She was in the carriage before Rhett even had the chance to help her up. The deafening silence of the ride home was intolerable, but neither one knew how to broach the ill-fated subject.

Once inside, Rhett asked, “How long are you going to freeze me out, Scarlett?”

When she brushed past him, refusing to answer, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into the library, locking the door behind them.

            “What are you doing!” she cried out, trying to tug her hand away.

            “We are going to stay in here until this is resolved. I thought you forgave me last night. Was it a lie?”

            “No, yes, I don’t know,” she answered, looking away from him. Honestly, she didn’t know how she felt. All she knew is that she’d wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt her because it took some of the sting away from the pain he’d inflicted.

He was watching her keenly, his black eyes searching her face, and he asked, “Did you at least believe me?”

            “Yes,” she muttered grudgingly.

            “So why did you leave?”

            “Because I wanted to hurt you! I bet you didn’t enjoy waking to find I wasn’t there.”

            “No, it wasn’t pleasant. I never want to wake up without you again.  How long will you go on punishing me? You know I didn’t deliberately set out to hurt you,” Rhett said, his tone softening.

His hands were on her shoulders now, and she knew he was going to try to kiss her to make it all go away because it had worked so many times in the past, but this time was different. Their previous rifts had been about inconsequential things and usually, she was only merely annoyed with him on the surface, but this time he’d wounded her deeply and he still failed to understand why she was upset. His attempt at placating her with tender affections only made her blood boil, and in a childish temper she kicked him in the shin with all her strength, taking him by surprise, and then he let out a painful groan.

            “I’m sorry, did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to,” she said coolly with a satisfied smile, though she knew it probably hadn’t hurt him as much as she would’ve liked.

            “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe _that_ was intentional.”

             “Why don’t you correct me if I’m wrong because I don’t believe you accidentally found yourself at sporting house? And you knew _that_ would hurt me. You knew and you did it anyway because you thought I wouldn’t find out.”

            “What do you want me to say Scarlett?” his said roughly, losing his cool. “How can I fix this?”

She thought a moment, wondering what it was she truly wanted him to say, and then she knew.   “Tell me you won’t ever go there again.”

            “I will not do that. I won’t have you telling me what I can and cannot do, even if you are my wife,” he threw at her bitterly.

            “Then this conversation is over,” she answered, wanting to head for the door but his hands had her locked in place.  

            “We are by no means done. Did you think that just because you loved me, you could use it to control me? You were clearly misled as to believe that. I thought you knew me better, my pet.”

            “I hate you!” she cried out, not being able to think of anything worse. “You hurt me. Not because you decided to stay out at night but because of where you went. You didn’t even think about how it would make me feel did you? You didn’t even think about what people would say about me or you if they found out!”

            “Did you stop to think about how it would make me feel to know that you still haven’t told Ashley that you love me and not him?” he answered with barely suppressed malice.

Scarlett gasped, “How do you—”

            “Yes I know. You think I can’t tell by the way he looks at you. He may not be pleased with your marital status, but he still believes he has a place in your heart. Does he?”

            “No!” she said forcefully while laying her hand on his forearm. “Rhett, I haven’t told him because I’m…well to be honest I’m embarrassed. I just couldn’t ever bring myself to do it, but I never meant to—”she stopped suddenly, realizing she’d fallen into a trap.

            “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. You never meant to what?”

He was smiling deviously, and she groaned. “Oh, I do hate you.”

Rhett laughed, cutting the tension, and Scarlett was grateful for it. Better his laughter than the savagery he could’ve unleashed.

            “I believe you intended to say that you never meant to hurt me,” he said smoothly, slightly shaking his head. “We do have a way with misunderstandings, don’t we? Look Scarlett, can’t we go and forget this ever happened?”

            “I want to Rhett, but I don’t—”

            “What if I promise that I’ll always be honest with you? I can’t tell you I’ll never go back because I know at some point I might. It’s just like how you will never be able tell me that you’ll never see Ashley again, but I promise you, you are the only woman I’ll ever want or need.”

Scarlett smiled. He hadn’t said he would go back, he’d said he might, and she believed that he’d said might because he couldn’t possibly allow her to know that she’d actually won a battle. _How like Rhett_ , she thought _. He knows he won’t go back, but God knows he’ll never tell me that._

            “I suppose that’s not unreasonable, and I promise, well one day I’ll tell Ashley. I just don’t know when yet, but I’ll tell you when I do.”

He grinned down at her and said, “I suppose that’s not unreasonable.”

            “You’re making fun of me!” she cried out, infuriated.

            “I’m only teasing,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms, her cheek resting on his broad chest, and his lips brushing over her hair. “I missed you,” he added gently.

Scarlett sighed. “How do you do this to me? One minute I don’t know whether to kill you or to cry, and then the next I just want to be with you. It’s like I don’t even have control over what I feel anymore.”

Rhett chuckled and she hit his chest with her hand. “I believe that’s called love, my dear.”

            “Well, then it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wish I didn’t love you this much because then it couldn’t hurt.”

He took her chin in his hand, and she met his penetrating gaze. “Do you really?” he asked, his eyes searching her face, and she wondered if Rhett really was unsure of how much she truly loved him and if this was why he went about testing her.

 _Haven’t I shown him how much I love him_ , she thought, confused, not understanding why Rhett would be doubtful. Maybe it was because she was never fully aware of what he was thinking. Uncovering what Rhett felt and thought was such a strenuous task, even after his guard had been down since she’d confessed her love, because he still had the tendency of keeping some things hidden. However. Scarlett knew that’d she’d have to try harder to understand him if they were going to avoid these conflicts in the future, though he would have to put in more of an effort as well.  

Scarlett enclosed her arms around his neck and tenderly replied, “No, not really.”

Rhett swiftly brought his lips down on hers, and this kiss she gladly welcomed.

***~Chapter 14~***

It had been a few days since Scarlett and Rhett had reconciled and yet, she still hadn’t told him about the baby.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him, she did, but the longer she waited the harder she found it was to get the words out.  There had been many times where she’d been on the verge of telling him but then had immediately stopped herself, mostly because the thought of telling him so soon after he’d hurt her felt absurd, especially since she knew this would make Rhett deliriously happy. However, there was that side of her that grew excited at the thought of telling Rhett the news, and that side seemed to be winning out over everything else.

One afternoon, Scarlett came home with the ledger from the store in hand so that she could go over the figures that evening. After entering through the front door, she was surprised to find no one was around in the dining room, the parlor, or in the library. Scarlett went upstairs to see if Rhett was in their bedroom, when she suddenly heard his voice coming from the nursery. She peeked in from the side, trying to watch Rhett from where she believed he wouldn’t see her. He was sitting with Ella in his lap, while Wade sat beside him with round eager eyes, obviously listening intently to the entertaining story Rhett seemed to be recounting. Scarlett wanted to laugh. If this was not a sign to tell him about the baby, she did not know what was.

 Feeling her gaze, Rhett looked up and caught Scarlett watching from the doorway, despite her attempt at hiding herself rapidly. She cursed herself for trying to hide after he’d clearly seen her because he would certainly to question her now. She tried to back away and head for her bedroom to play aloof, but he appeared through the doorway before she had a chance, startling her and causing her to drop the ledger to the floor. Swiftly, Rhett had the book in his hand before Scarlett even had the time to bend down to reach for it.

            “Skittish today, Scarlett?” Rhett asked with a grin, looking down at the ledger in his hand, pleased to see it was from the store and not the mills.

            “No,” she replied with a blush, putting out her hand so that he would give her back the book.

He gave her an odd look, then handed the ledger back to her and said, “Perhaps it is that fact that you were spying on me, my dear?”

            “I was not spying,” she said firmly.

            “No? Then what were you doing standing here in the doorway?” he asked, his eyes dancing with amusement.

            “I was, well, it doesn’t matter Rhett,” Scarlett answered, looking away from him, not knowing how to explain why she felt the need to watch how charming he was with the children.

He chuckled lightly then moved in closer, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

            “You could’ve simply joined us you know?” Rhett finally said, and Scarlett smiled up at him, thinking he could be so sweet at times.

            “I know. Rhett I—” she started then stopped when Wade interrupted them.

At one time in her life, Wade’s presence would have been an unwelcome irritation, but after having been married to Rhett for a while and seeing the attention he showered on Wade and Ella, Scarlett had begun to make an effort with her children, though she still had difficulty showing them affection.  Caring about them was not the problem because she did care since they were her own, but displaying how she felt was another story, especially when her patience was limited.

At this moment, Scarlett was strangely grateful for Wade’s interruption because it had stopped her from blurting out something she wasn’t altogether ready to say. He was telling her the story Rhett had told him enthusiastically, evidently still amused by it, and Scarlett listened with faint interest, though her mind was really elsewhere because she could feel Rhett’s stare upon her, and she wondered what he was thinking. When Wade had finished, he grabbed Rhett’s hand and begged him for another story.

 “I think Uncle Rhett would love to tell you another story,” Scarlett said with a smirk, thinking she’d now escaped all further questioning.

He chuckled and said, “I think that your mother would like that too, don’t you Wade?”

            “Oh yes, please mother,” Wade asked, his eyes shining eagerly.

Rhett wore a victorious grin and Scarlett frowned. “I have work—”

            “Do it later. Come Scarlett, we haven’t seen you all day and we missed you, haven’t we son?”

Wade earnestly nodded his head in agreement and Scarlett laughed, deciding to join them, thinking she should start to accustom herself to playing the role of a mother, though she wasn’t certain as to how she was going to go about it. She simply believed that since she wanted this baby, it would finally come naturally to her.

In the evening, Scarlett sat in her bedroom with the ledger in her lap and pencil in hand, sighing softly because she couldn’t keep focused. There was no way she could concentrate in the room when Rhett was present or when thoughts of the baby and how she would tell him continued running through her mind.  Every now and again she’d look up, watching Rhett as he was smoking a cigar and lounging quietly in his chair. At one point he caught her gazing at him, and she hastily lowered her eyes back down to the figures.

In a few strides, Rhett was in front of Scarlett, effortlessly pulling the book out of her hands before she had the time to get a grip on it.

            “Rhett!” she said, frustrated.

            “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? I know I’m rather pleasant to stare at, but I don’t believe I’m conceited enough to assume you were watching me solely for my rugged good looks,” Rhett said, his smile devilishly charming while his eyes searched hers for answers.

            “Nothing’s wrong. Hand that back to me. I’m still not done yet.”

            “Could that be because you’ve been staring at the same page for the last hour? And you say nothing’s wrong? My dear, I’ve never pictured you as being the daydreaming type,” he said, now placing the ledger on the floor, too far away for Scarlett to reach without having to stand up.

She scowled and replied, “I have a lot on my mind, if you really want to know.”

“I’m asking aren’t I?”

Scarlett took in a deep breath, it was now or never. “Fine. There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” she said, rising from her seat. “Maybe you want to sit down.”

            “Thank you, I think I’ll stand,” he answered nonchalantly, though he was vaguely worried that something was wrong because she seemed rather tense.

            “Please Rhett.”

He complied, but only because he did not want to further delay what she was going to announce.

            “Rhett,” she began nervously, avoiding eye contact. “Did you ever wonder why I was waiting for you, um, that night?”

He sighed, “Scarlett I thought that was behind us.”

            “It is,” she managed to get out tersely then continued, “I’m trying to tell you that I was waiting up for you for a reason, because I had to tell you something.”

            “What is it?” he asked, his dark eyes keenly observing her face.

            “I, well, we are going to have a baby,” she said, feeling immediate relief after having said it out loud.

She looked over at him, waiting for the moment when he would jump for joy, but he sat still. They both had their eyes fixed on one another, neither saying a word, barely breathing.

When Scarlett had just about enough of his silence, she burst out and said, “Well aren’t you going to say something! Don’t you care? I just told you you’re going to be a father, aren’t you happy?”

            “Are you happy,” he asked softly, hoping she was pleased with the idea of having his baby, though he had always known that she was never overly fond of children.

            “I was, until now! Oh you are impossible Rhett Butler. I thought you liked babies and this is the reaction I get when I—”

Before she had a chance to finish, she was in Rhett’s arms and he was kissing her, tenderly at first, then with more gradual ardor. When he pulled away he was grinning, and Scarlett smiled back, thinking that never in her life would she ever come to understand him.

            “That’s more like I was expecting. What’s wrong with you?” she asked, slapping his chest, and he laughed.

            “I needed to be certain you were as pleased as I was.”

            “Of course I’m pleased. Why wouldn’t I be?”

With a raised eyebrow, he replied, “I believe I recall a day not so very long ago when you told me you hated all babies.”

She blushed, remembering that unpleasant day and thinking that of course he had to bring it up when she’d rather never think about it again. “Well, it’s different now Rhett. This is your baby.”

He pulled her in closer, burying his face in her hair, inhaling her fragrance deeply. Other than her declaration of love, never had any other words brought him this much joy. If someone had told him that Scarlett O’Hara would confess as to being pleased with carrying his child, he wouldn’t have believed them. 

            “I love you,” he whispered into the side of her neck, brushing velvet kisses along her throat.

            “I love you too,” she mumbled back, closing her eyes and enjoying Rhett’s tender caresses.

            “Tell me you weren’t really planning on telling me that night Scarlett?” he asked, running his hand gently over her creamy cheek.

Her eyes grew darker at the memory, but then she quickly pushed it to the back of her mind.

            “I was. I think that’s why it was so hard for me to forgive you. I was excited to tell you about the baby and then you…” she trailed off, not wanting to go back into details of that night.

His arms tightened around her like he was afraid to let her go, feeling horribly stupid for what he’d done, believing that he couldn’t have chosen a worse night to have left her waiting for him as he had.    

            “I’m truly sorry Scarlett. If I’d known I—well all I can say is that I’m going to find a way to make it up to you somehow.”

            “Well, I don’t know why I’m saying this, but it’s alright Rhett. I don’t want to think about it anymore. You know a moment ago, I was worried you weren’t as happy as I thought you’d be.”

            “Not as worried as I was, my pet. You we’re behaving rather oddly and I assumed the worst.”

            “What was the worst?” she asked, and before he had a chance to reply she continued, “Wait, if you even dare to mention the name Ashley, I’ll—”

His laugher stopped her from finishing her sentence, and then she laughed as well. Rhett then went to sit down, and Scarlett climbed onto his lap, her head resting against his chest. She was glad she’d chosen to tell him. Not only had it been tormenting to keep it inside but also she enjoyed sharing her happiness with Rhett. It was all so much better than keeping it to herself.

            “We’re going to have a baby,” Rhett finally murmured aloud, wondering what it would feel like to be a father for the first time, even though he still considered Wade and Ella as his own.

            “I know,” Scarlett answered softly, looking up his beaming dark eyes, and then he grinned when their eyes met.

            “I suppose this does mean we will be having mutual grandchildren. It appears as if you were right about something that day.”

            “Oh, must you?!” she huffed, irritated, and rolling her eyes.

He chuckled lightly. “Yes, I must. That was a rather pleasant day, if I recall correctly.”

            “Pleasant? I remember threatening to whip you,” she said, then giggled softly.

            “Yes, and you are never as charming as when you are in a temper. I believe I will be witnessing that quite a few times in the upcoming months.”

            “Not if you behave yourself,” Scarlett replied, smiling sweetly.

            “Who said I intended on _behaving_ myself?”  

When Scarlett squirmed, Rhett laughed and hugged her closer, placing tender kisses on her forehead and cheeks before bringing his lips down to her parted mouth.

***~Chapter 15~***

The months of pregnancy were not pleasant for Scarlett despite how much she wanted this baby, and Rhett tried his best to alleviate her discomfort by pampering and spoiling her relentlessly. Though that helped, the thickening of her waistline, the nausea in the duration of the early months, and her frequent mood swings caused Scarlett to be rather abrupt with everyone in the household. What bothered her most was the tight reign Rhett suddenly held on her, and she resented it. At a certain point in her pregnancy, Rhett refused to let her leave the house to run her businesses, which spurred her indignation. Of course he took on the responsibilities that she could no longer fulfill from home, but he would bring home the ledgers from the store and mills for her to look over, which he hoped would be enough for the time being.  

This was not satisfying, and she’d made it perfectly clear, which resulted in the spring up of many heated arguments, none of which she had won because Rhett refused to bend in his decision. If he permitted Scarlett to continue working, he knew that she would work herself to near exhaustion and refuse to admit to needing a break due to her stubborn pride. This way, he knew she was safe and he could look after her, and if enduring her ire was the price he would have to pay for the comfort of knowing she well taken care of, then he would gladly pay it. Rhett knew Scarlett hated to be trapped and he would have infinitely preferred allowing her to behave as she pleased and living in peaceful harmony, but he could not trust her to take care of herself.   

 

Melanie’s friendship and presence certainly made it easier on everyone because it gave Scarlett somewhere else to go and someone to talk to when she grew restless at home. Melly was happy to have Scarlett at her home whenever she pleased, and Melanie was thrilled to learn she was having a baby, though she secretly wished she would one day be able to have one as well. The only one who wasn’t pleased with Scarlett’s presence was Ashley. Once, when he had been surprised to find her at his home as he walked into the parlor one evening, he knew not where to look or how to behave. Of course Scarlett had been in the family way twice before, but the thought of her carrying Rhett’s child made Ashley feel altogether differently.

He found it difficult to look at Scarlett and see her condition without his mind immediately jumping as to how it came about. Whenever he saw her he also saw that blackguard touching her, and this left him envious and a little ill. Scarlett noticed Ashley’s distant and odd behavior, but she did not pay much mind to it, thinking he was just like everyone else when it came to a woman having a baby, behaving as if she were some leper. However, this did not stop her from begging him to take her to work one morning when Melanie had left the room for a moment.

            “Ashley, please take me with you to the mills. Nobody will know. We’ll tell Melly I’m not feeling well and that you are taking me home.  She won’t know the difference. Please Ashley?” she begged, giving him a pretty smile, batting her lashes, and using all her coquettish charms to persuade him.

He returned her smile, as she reminded him of the sweet sixteen year old she’d been at Twelve Oaks that one summer day. “My dear, you know I’d want to, but I can’t lie to Melly.”

            “Oh, Ashley please. You wouldn’t have to lie, I would. I just can’t stand being cooped up indoors any longer. I need to be doing something, anything. I miss the mills dreadfully, won’t you help me? I have nobody else to turn to,” she said in a sugary voice, hoping that if he still had some affection for her, he would do her this favor.

            “What would Captain Butler say?” he asked, knowing full well Rhett refused to let Scarlett tend to her businesses.

            “Oh, who cares! He won’t know anyhow. This really is all his fault,” she finished, irritation clearly present in her voice.

This outburst made Ashley strangely happy, and if he were the one to bring a smile to Scarlett’s face while also deceiving her husband, he would do it.

            “Very well Scarlett, you may come with me. I only hope no one will inform your husband.”

            “Oh thank you Ashley,” she said with the brightest smile, and Ashley knew his agreeing to this was well worth it.

  On their way to the mills, Scarlett couldn’t help but smiling victoriously, thinking Ashley was so much easier to maneuver than Rhett was. Ashley was smiling as well, forgetting her condition and only thinking of the young belle she used to be. When they got to the mills and made their way to the office, a light was already glowing inside the room, and Scarlett’s heart accelerated anxiously.

            “Damn him, Rhett’s here isn’t he?” Scarlett inadvertently said aloud, and Ashley gave her a look of disapproval and astonishment.

Her cheeks grew pink, but she pushed her embarrassment aside, focusing on how she would escape. “Don’t look at me like that Ashley. What am I going to do now?”

Rhett suddenly came out of the office, catching them both by surprise. Ashley almost stumbled when he took a step back rather too quickly, and Scarlett knew by Rhett’s fierce glare that she was in for a long drawn out lecture, probably a very insulting one at that. Ashley seemed to cower behind Scarlett’s skirts, and Rhett thought he was no man. At least Scarlett met his gaze, even though she looked rather guilty.

            “My pet, were you so very miserable without me that you felt the need to come here and find me? It’s fortunate for you that I was just on my way home, so we can spend the length of our carriage ride wrapped up in each other’s arms,” Rhett said mockingly, giving a quick disgusted look Ashley’s way but saying nothing because it was altogether too easy to cut him now, and the last thing he wanted was Scarlett rushing to his defense.

Rhett’s hand tightly wound around Scarlett’s arm, propelling her out of the room and outside to his carriage. She didn’t even bother trying to resist. She simply followed him out and allowed him to help her up to her seat. At first he said nothing, only fixing his eyes on her, but she refused to meet his stare.

            “What were you doing at the mills Rhett?” Scarlett finally said, unable to stand the silence, thinking she might as well get this argument over with.

            “How ironic, my dear. I was just about to ask you the same. Care to tell me why you felt the need to go against my wishes and come to the mills, no, not by yourself, but accompanied by the delightful Mr. Wilkes?”  

            “No,” she answered curtly.

He laughed, but it was not a pleasant laugh. “No?  Let’s try this again shall we? Tell me why,” he ordered, his voice rough.

            “I think you know why Rhett. You keep me locked up in that house for no good reason, and you won’t let me do anything. I had to get out.”

            “So,” he started coolly, “if I see this your way, I’m the wicked warden who has you locked up in prison, and you’ve chosen to make an escape, with Ashley Wilkes as your accomplice? Fie, Mrs. Butler, I believed you to be much more clever than having to resort to using the little gentleman. I’m disappointed.”  

            “It worked, didn’t it!” she cried out, enraged. “How was I supposed to know you would be there?”

            “You underestimated me, my dear. Tell me, how did you get the wooden-headed Mr. Wilkes to agree to your little scheme?” Rhett asked curiously, though he was pretty certain that he knew the answer.

            “The only way I knew how,” she replied simply, thinking it had been rather easy.

Rhett chuckled, and she finally turned to look at him. The angry glow seemed to have vanished from his face.

            “Ah, so you prayed on his weakness for you. You are a cruel little cat aren’t you, darling?”

 Scarlett shrugged her shoulders, which only prompted more of Rhett’s laughter.

            “I don’t see how this is very funny Rhett. I thought you would be angry.”

            “Well, I certainly wasn’t thrilled to see you there, least of all with him, but I should have known you were not to be trusted. You do realize you’ll be chained to me until you have your baby. No more escape opportunities for you my pretty convict,” he said with a grin, the light in his eyes dancing devilishly.

            “I don’t see why you have to be like this. Why can’t you let me do as I please? I don’t like being angry with you,” she said sweetly, pressing her body closer to his and laying her head on his shoulder.

            “Love, I’m not as easily had as Ashley, so your tricks won’t work on me, though I do admire your determination. I’ve told you why it has to be this way, and I do not wish to discuss it any further.”

            “Fine,” she said steely, moving away from him again.

            “Scarlett, come back here,” he implored softly.

            “No. Leave me alone.”

            “Having me around won’t be that bad. Surely you can think of some benefits,” Rhett said with an impudent grin.

She ignored him, so he slid up closer to her and draped his arm around her shoulders.

            “No, don’t touch me. You are as hateful as Frank was.”

            “Please do not compare me to that—”

            “Why not? You are doing the same thing he did, keeping me—”

            “For decidedly different reasons,” he interrupted roughly. “I don’t give a damn about what Atlanta thinks or about what’s respectable. It’s you I care about, and I am going to look after you until the baby comes, whether you like it or not.”

 He was about to remove his arm from her shoulders when she softly said, “No, don’t.”

            “Am I permitted to touch you now?” he asked in mock astonishment.

            “Oh stop. You can touch me whenever you like, you do anyhow.”

He chuckled softly and nuzzled her neck. “Can I now? This is news to me.”

She giggled and said, “You’re impossible Rhett Butler. I don’t know what I am going to do with you.”

            “I can think of a few things,” he murmured, then started caressing the length of her neck with his lips, sending tremors down her spine.

            “Rhett,” she scolded. “What are doing? Not here in the open where anyone might see.”

He laughed lightly and replied, “And I thought you said I could touch you whenever I liked? Come Scarlett, I’ve missed you. You haven’t been in the best spirits lately.”

            “Oh! And you have been just a joy to be around.”

He laughed loudly and she scowled at him. “Have you picked up my sarcasm darling? I knew it had to rub off on you eventually.”

She rolled her eyes in response and he hugged her closer. “Scarlett, why don’t I prepare a bath for you when we get home so that I may make it up to you for treating you so abominably these last few, what, months?”

She nodded her head, though she was smiling warmly. “That sounds lovely, but you have to promise to leave me alone afterwards. I would like to enjoy my bath in peace.”

            “Am I so horrible a husband?”

            “Yes, you’re just awful,” Scarlett answered, though she caressed the word as if it had been an endearment.

            “I see. That cuts my dear. You have wounded me deeply,” he tried to answer seriously but a grin crept up onto his face.

“Oh Rhett, I’m just teasing,” she said, placing a kiss on his cheek, and he laughed.

            “Another one of my charming habits you’ve picked up? And I thought you hated it when I teased you.”

            “Oh, I don’t hate it so very much. Anyway, teasing you is fun. I can see why you do it so often.”

            “Can you?” Rhett said, evidently amused, and then he alighted from the carriage to help Scarlett down since they’d reached their home.

            “Rhett,” she said softly before they walked through the threshold to the house. He looked down at her and she continued, “Thank you for not being so very angry. I’m just… I’m so tired of being treated like an invalid.”

He lifted her chin tenderly, looking at her with dark sympathetic eyes and he said, “I know darling. You know I’m not doing this to torture you.”

            “I know.”

            “This won’t last much longer, Scarlett. You’ll be having the baby soon.”

            “Yes, and then I’ll be confined to a bed for who knows how long,” she pouted.

            “But just think, you’ll have me and our children to keep you company,” he replied, chuckling softly.

            “Oh yes, that makes it much better. I think it’s time you start fixing me that bath you promised,” she said with a cheeky grin.

“At your service madam,” he replied then placed a gentle kiss on her lips and led her inside.

***

 

When the day came for Scarlett to have her baby, Rhett was beyond nervous, wanting to alleviate some of Scarlett’s discomfort and do something useful instead of standing around. Rhett cringed every time Scarlett’s face contorted with pain and he felt helpless as they waited in their room for Melanie and Dr. Meade to arrive. Mammy had tried to order Rhett out of the room, but he had bluntly refused to leave Scarlett’s side until the doctor appeared. Scarlett found Rhett’s anxiety endearing, and she couldn’t help but giggle a few times and smile at him, when she wasn’t doubled over in pain of course.

After one of her bouts of giggles, Rhett turned to her and asked, “And what is it you find so amusing, my dear?”

            “You. You’re so adorable when you’re worried,” she said with a grin.

            “Am I?” he said smoothly, finally seating himself next to the bed and taking her hand in his.

When another bout of pain erupted, she squeezed Rhett’s hand with a vengeance, her nails digging into his skin, only releasing her grasp when the pain subsided. Rhett’s concerned eyes searched her face in alarm, cursing the doctor for not arriving more quickly.  When Scarlett’s eyes met his, she smiled.

            “Rhett, don’t worry. This isn’t my first baby you realize.”

            “No, but it is mine. How can I help worrying? I swear, if that old goat doesn’t get here soon I’ll—” he started then stopped when Mammy, Melanie, and Dr. Meade suddenly entered the room.            

Rhett was instructed to leave by Dr. Meade, and he had to control the strong desire he had to punch him in the face, although that wouldn’t have been altogether constructive given that he was needed to help bring his child into the world. Rhett resented being forced out of the room when he deserved to be there more than anyone else because he was after all the father, and he wanted to be there for his wife even when he knew he wouldn’t be much help. He gave Scarlett a quick peck before exiting the room to wait in the hall.

Tense, Rhett paced the hall, unable to sit or stand still. It drove him crazy that there was nothing he could do. Rhett pulled out cigar after cigar, tossing and scattering the used ones about the floor. A drink would have gladly been welcomed, but he couldn’t trust himself to stop at just one and he wouldn’t permit himself to be intoxicated when he saw his baby for the first time. Anxiety was an undesirable and a rather unfamiliar emotion to Rhett, and he yearned to blot it out. When he thought he couldn’t stand the waiting any longer, Melanie came out of the room and told him he could go to Scarlett. He threw down what was left of the cigar in his hand to the floor and rushed into the bedroom.

When Rhett saw his newborn daughter for the first time, he could have sworn that he felt his heart expand with unconditional love. It was amazing how much he could love this small creature he held in his hands, so beautiful and delicate with a head of black fuzz and those unmistakable blue eyes. He walked over to Scarlett with his daughter in his arms, murmuring unintelligible words and rocking her gently until her eyelids slid closed. Scarlett watched him in awe, thinking she’d never seen a man so openly adoring of his child.

            “How are you feeling,” he finally asked Scarlett gently, taking a seat in a chair next to the bed.

             “Hungry,” she replied with a smile followed by a yawn.

He chuckled softly. “I believe that will be taken care of any moment now. My god Scarlett, look at our daughter. She’s so beautiful.”

            “I know. She looks like me,” she said teasingly, though thinking there was some truth to what she’d said, and deep down, she beyond pleased at how pretty her daughter was. Ella had been somewhat of a letdown in that department.

            “Vanity,” he said softly, shaking his head and grinning. “But she does resemble you, my dear. Look at those tiny hands, and that nose. She is going to be our little princess.”

Scarlett mumbled something, and Rhett lifted his eyes from his daughter to look at her. Scarlett’s eyes were closed, and her rhythmic breathing was shallow but steady. He got up to place his sleeping daughter into the bassinette, and then he strolled over back to his wife, brushing his lips across her forehead.

“I love you Scarlett,” he whispered then began to make his way to the door, thinking she was already asleep and wanting to let her rest.

“No, don’t go Rhett. Stay with me,” she mumbled, putting out her hand but keeping her eyes shut.

He took her hand and squeezed it affectionately before running his lips over the soft white skin.

            “You’re tired, honey. You should rest. I’ll be back,” he added reassuringly.

            “I’m not tired,” she replied stubbornly with an effort, though she couldn’t will her eyes to open.

He chuckled softly and sat in the seat by the bed, holding her hand until she had finally allowed sleep to overcome her.

 

Everyone was impressed with the new addition to the Butler household, especially Melanie who enjoyed coming to see the new baby. During one of these visits, she had inadvertently bestowed a nickname onto the child, Bonnie Blue, which would then forever replace the original name they had agreed upon. Out of everyone, Scarlett was most surprised to find out how much she loved Bonnie. Never in her life had the thought of having a child who needed her constant attention and care bring on anything but dread and annoyance, but now the thought of how Bonnie would need and depend on her seemed to bring about this wonder and deeply rooted love she’d never felt before. Maybe it was the fact that she knew she wouldn’t be alone because she had Rhett, who took more joy in caring for a baby than anyone she’d ever seen.

***

One morning, Rhett came to find Scarlett cradling Bonnie in parlor with Wade who sat beside her, looking down at his little sister.

            “Mother, why does everyone like babies?” he asked inquisitively, thinking he could not understand what was so special about them, which everyone fussed over.

            “I’m not sure darling. Why? Don’t you like babies?”

            “No,” he said quickly shaking his head. “They’re so boring.”

Scarlett laughed, thinking that at one time she’d thought the same thing. Rhett was chuckling as well when he walked in, and Scarlett handed Bonnie over to him.

            “But you were a baby once too Wade,” Rhett said with a smile, sitting down on the settee to the other side of Scarlett.

Wade gave him a puzzled look, not having given this a thought. 

            “And when she’s old enough to play with you, you won’t find her so very boring,” Scarlett added.

            “I suppose,” he said uncertainly, and then he climbed down from the couch and made his way to the playroom, not wanting to talk about babies anymore, even if he’d been the one who had brought up the subject.

            “I think someone is jealous,” Scarlett said looking at Rhett. “And this time it isn’t you,” she finished with a grin.

Rhett laughed.  “You’re lucky I have Bonnie in my arms or you would be paying dearly for that barb,” he retorted with amusement.

            “I guess it’s a good thing I have our daughter to protect me.”

            “Not for long. It appears as if she has fallen asleep.”

            “Oh, of course she has. I’ve spent all morning trying to calm her and she falls asleep in your arms.”

            “I believe I’ve said this before, my pet, but I have a way with women.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and stood up, but she couldn’t keep a smile from creeping onto her face.

            “Come on. Let’s put her to bed before she wakes up again.”

His dark eyes were dancing mischievously as he said in mock horror, “Mrs. Butler, are you trying to lure me into the bedroom?”

            “You’re impossible,” she cried out, heading towards their room as his laughter chased her out of the parlor, but she couldn’t keep a smile off her face.

 

    

When Scarlett was finally able to go out in public again, she decided it was time to check on the mills. It had been a long time since she’d been back to work, and while she trusted her businesses with Rhett, she had a strange feeling that Ashley had struggled in her absence. Rhett knew this day would come eventually, but he would have preferred if it had come much later. Scarlett could tell Rhett was not pleased, but she didn’t care. She’d obeyed his wishes during her pregnancy, well, to a certain extent, and now she was free to do as she desired. However, in order to appease him, she allowed him to drive and pick her up from the mills instead of travelling on her own. She thought he was being ridiculous, but it was also rather touching to know how protective he was of her. When they arrived, she gave him a quick kiss goodbye and went off to her office, desperately hoping not to find that a disaster had erupted.

She found Ashley in the office and gave him a smile, which he returned, and then she began to go over the books and was not pleased by what she’d found. Her disappointment with Ashley’s numbers in comparison to Johnnie Gallegher’s was evident.  In response, Ashley explained how he could not work convicts.

Scarlett, completely baffled and frustrated by his explanation, said, “God’s nightgown! Johnnie is a wonder at it. Ashley, you are just too soft hearted. You ought to get more work out of them. Johnnie told me that any time a malingerer wanted to get out of work he told you he was sick. Good Lord Ashley! That’s no way to make money. A couple of licks will cure most any sickness short of a broken leg—”

            “Scarlett! Scarlett! Stop! I can’t bear to hear you talk that way,” cried Ashley. “Oh, my dear, I can’t bear to see the way he has brutalized you, you who were always so sweet—”

            “Who has whetted me?” she asked in confusion.

            “I’ve got to say it and I haven’t any right. But I’ve got to say it. Your—Rhett Butler,” he replied, not being able to bring himself to say the word husband. “Everything he touches he poisons. And he has taken you who were sweet and generous and gentle, for all your spirited ways, and he has done this to you—hardened you, brutalized you by his contact. If it were any  other man in the world, I wouldn’t care so much—but Rhett Butler! I wish to God it had been any other man but him! I tell you I can’t bear it, seeing your fineness coarsened by him, knowing that your beauty and your charm are in the keeping of a man who—When I think of him touching you I—”

            “Ashley Wilkes, how dare you!” she cried out after finally being snapped out of her momentary shock at his words. Ashley was never the one for passionate outbursts, and he had taken her completely by surprise.

             “I love Rhett. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone, even more than I thought I loved you. I don’t see how you have the gall to—my God Ashley!” Scarlett exploded, disdain coursing through her veins. She believed him to be an idiot, thinking he was such a fool if he hadn’t realized by now how whole-heartedly and irrevocably in love she was with her husband. 

He paled and realized he’d gone too far, and he stood there, not knowing what to say.

            “I probably should have told you long ago I just, I didn’t know how to say it, and I never thought you’d—but this is too much Ashley. You haven’t any right to—”

            “I know, my dear. I haven’t any right at all, I’m no gentleman,” he said sheepishly, his grey eyes gloomy and weary. “Would you consider forgiving me Scarlett?” he asked hopefully, tentatively placing his hands on hers. 

            “Get your hands off my wife,” Rhett commanded menacingly. He’d been standing by the door and watching the whole scene play out until Ashley Wilkes had the audacity to touch Scarlett, pushing him beyond his limits.

***~Chapter 16~***

 At the sound of Rhett’s deep and imperious voice, Ashley withdrew his hands and backed away so abruptly that he bumped into the desk, almost flying backwards in his haste. Scarlett stood still, her heart beating thunderously, afraid of what Rhett might do. Seizing her wrist, Rhett hauled Scarlett towards the door, tugging her with such power it felt like her bones might shatter under his grip.

            “Go home Scarlett,” he ordered seriously.

Finally looking into his dark foreboding eyes, Scarlett grew frightened, not for herself but for what he might do after she was out of the way.

            “Rhett, please—” she began.

            “I said go home!”

He was losing his temper when he always managed to keep his cool, unless of course something was deeply troubling him. Scarlett wanted to reach out, to tell him to come home with her and forget about Ashley, but he wasn’t looking at her. It appeared as if he was looking beyond her, through her as if she were made of translucent glass. She wanted to slap him so that she might bring him back down to earth, but the thought that he might strike her back in his rage crossed her mind and she decided against it. Instead, she left without another word or backwards glance, hoping he wouldn’t do something foolish like kill Ashley in his fury and wind up in prison yet again. The thought of seeing Rhett hanging by a noose was no longer as appealing as it had been once before. In fact, the thought of losing him was unbearable.

  Rhett returned his attention to Ashley once he was sure Scarlett had gone for good and then closed the office door. Ashley stood frozen in place, his face a ghostly white, and he swallowed nervously as Rhett approached him, his dangerously dark eyes boring into him. Ashley would have thanked God on bended knees if only the floor would open up and ingest him, tearing him away from not only this humiliating situation but also this frightening encounter. Rhett’s mocking laughter reverberated through the room, causing the golden gentleman to cringe and shiver involuntarily.

            “Please don’t faint Mr. Wilkes. I’ve no smelling salts about me and there is certainly no one here to catch you. What more, I’d hate to leave you lying unconscious before I’ve had the chance to have a discussion with you that’d I’ve longed to have for some time now. I suggest you have a seat.”    

He shook his head in reply, still not finding his voice, and he tried to keep his body upright by holding tightly to the desk with the back of his hands.

            “As you wish. I always preferred a fair fight,” Rhett said with a devilish laugh, walking agonizingly slowly towards Ashley.

“Captain Butler, I should not have—”

            “Formalities for the brute? What have I done to deserve such respect and honor from so noble a gentleman as yourself? Aren’t I the one who has coarsened your dear Scarlett’s, what was it? Oh yes, fineness. And aren’t I the one who has hardened her sweet and generous disposition?” Rhett interrupted jeeringly.  

            “Sir, I…” he stammered, unable to will the words out of his mouth, inciting Rhett’s scornful laugh once more.

            “Now it’s _sir_? Really Ashley, at least have the decency to be frank. You had no qualms about criticizing me to my wife when you believed I’d never find out, now’s your chance to call me what you like to my face. Or is that precisely the problem? Are you so very terrified of what I might do that you cannot bring yourself to divulge the truth in your opinion of me? And don’t dare to say it would be ungentlemanly. I believe we’ve established today that you are as much of a gentleman as I am.”

Ashley was dumbfounded, and there was nothing he could say.

            “Cat got your tongue? Pity you never thought of keeping quiet much sooner. You would have saved yourself this embarrassing scene, but this does play out quite nicely for me.”

When Ashley’s grey eyes grew darker, Rhett knew he had finally struck a chord and took the opportunity to continue mercilessly.

            “You’re a God-fearing man aren’t you Mr. Wilkes? Tell me, you must be familiar with the Ten Commandments? Does, thou shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, ring any bells with you? You do realize that commandments are not requests.”

Horrified, Ashley stood up straight, no longer leaning on the desk for support in a superficial bout of strength and pride, which quickly evaporated when Rhett’s haunting laugh rang through the air, filling the office with his blatant disgust.

            “I was wondering when you would find your spine,” Rhett said scornfully, moving in on Ashley as he spoke.

            “I should not have spoken to Scarlett in such a manner, but I retract nothing. If anything, your boorish behavior justifies my words,” Ashley replied quickly before his resolve faded, resting his hands on the desk once more so that he would not topple over in distress.   

            “You may think you know me, hell, you may even be right in your assumptions of me, but you do not know Scarlett. If you truly believe her to be the sweet gentle flower that I have wilted, you’ve never known her. I know her. I know her better than she knows herself, and I love her. What do _you_ feel for her, Mr. Wilkes? Lust, attraction, or is it her passion for living that you so admire?”

Ashley flushed to his roots, recalling that scene he’d shared with Scarlett at Twelve Oaks.

            “Scarlett told you—”

            “Do you truly believe Scarlett would confess such a thing, to me of all people? You are a bigger fool than I previously thought. No, Scarlett never told me. I witnessed that charming scene myself. It brings back the fondest of memories. Ah, but I see that Scarlett never informed you of my intimate knowledge of your _feelings_ for one another. I suppose that shows how much she truly cared for you. So loving and open she is. Tell me, would it have plagued your conscience at all if Scarlett had believed her feelings for you still existed and she decided to throw happiness away with both hands because you could not stand to think of me coarsening her with my poisonous thoughts and touching her with my impure hands?”

Ashley did not know how much more of this he could stand, and he blushed once again as he replied, “As I’ve said, I had no right to—”

            “No, that’s painfully obvious. However, I asked you if you had a conscience, but I see that you are either lacking in one or that your substandard intelligence could not fathom the idea that Scarlett could ever find happiness with someone as unrefined as I am. That hurts doesn’t it? It must hurt to know that she’s lain in my arms at night, purely blissful. That she’s melted underneath my touch and returned my kisses with a feverish passion and that it’s my name she calls out when—”

            “Captain Butler!” Ashley uncharacteristically shouted, willing to do almost anything not to hear anymore of this discourse.

            “But I mustn’t get carried away with the arduous details of our marriage. You must have an extensive understanding of carnal appetites, or why else would you lust after my wife for so long when it’s evident you don’t want her mind or her heart. If you had, you would have married her or, at the very least, not tormented her with the thought that you cared something for her, keeping her tied to you and closed off to the idea of anyone else. Selfish isn’t it? And I should know, I’m a man of pure selfishness myself,” Rhett said with a derisive laugh, thoroughly amused because Ashley seemed to be past the point of being appalled and on the verge of mortified tears.  

When Ashley made no move to respond, keeping his eyes lowered and hanging his head dejectedly, Rhett continued, “You must wonder why I don’t strike you. Why I don’t call you out, shoot you, and be done with you for the rest of my life. It’s a question I’m asking myself this moment as well, seeing as I don’t have much of a reputation to tarnish. Don’t look so frightened, I have no gun about me,” he said with a mocking laugh, which caused Ashley to flinch.

            “I deserve to be struck. I had no right at all, and I humbly apologize,” Ashley mumbled, wishing Rhett would strike him because at least he would no longer have to endure these relentless degrading insults.

            “No, I don’t think I will strike you, but not out of the kindness of my heart. I just don’t trust my self-restraint at the moment, and I would hate for you to go home to Mrs. Wilkes looking like you barely survived another war. I wonder what your wife would say if you told her why you’d been struck, but I suppose you’d come up with a pretty lie she’d believe because she loves you, though she deserves much better.  No, I won’t strike you. It would be much too simple. As it is I feel you’d be grateful for it, and I’m not in much of a mood to please you.”   

Ashley finally looked up into his dark orbs, relief washing over him because he’d never really been physically attacked before, apart from being slapped by Scarlett that one time in the library. How ironic it was that associations with Scarlett brought about the possibility of receiving physical blows, when not even during the war had he suffered any form of injury that wasn’t inflicted through weapons and machinery. Ashley finally stood up straight, no longer needing the desk’s assistance because he could feel his escape from this horrific day approaching at last. How he wished to be in the sanctuary of his home.

As though reading his mind, Rhett swung his rock-hard fist into the side of Ashley’s face, making contact with both his cheek and the side of his nose. Ashley went spiraling towards the ground in agony, the deep red blood seeping from his nose as he held his hands up frantically to his face.

            “Changed my mind,” Rhett said as he threw his handkerchief to the floor and turned on his heel to exit the office, slamming the door behind him.

 

***~Chapter 17~***

Anxious, Scarlett paced up and down the parlor, waiting to hear the sound of the latch of the opening door at Rhett’s return. She wished she had stayed around the office to listen in on their conversation instead of heading home like a fool only to have to pass the time by hoping that he hadn’t done something irrational. Throughout their marriage she had seen Rhett at both his best and what she believed was his worst, but never had she seen him so evidently livid, his casual and carefree demeanor dissipated.  Rhett was always so calm and composed, his true emotions easily concealed with a perfectly placed shielding mask. Even when in his most sarcastic moods, Scarlett had a difficult time deciphering what hid beneath the sarcasm, but when she left him at the mills, his black eyes blazing queerly, it wasn’t difficult, for once, to read his thoughts.  

  _This is all of Ashley’s fault_ , Scarlett thought irritated. _Just when we no longer have the issue of Ashley between us, he has to go and ruin everything with his stupid prattle about Rhett, oh I could kill him._ Rubbing her temples in frustration, Scarlett wondered what she would be faced with when Rhett came home.  Would he be nonchalant as if nothing had transpired at the mills or brooding and obviously still upset?

 _Why didn’t I just stay home today, why did I let him drive me!_  Of course, the thought that she may have avoided this unpleasant situation by confessing the truth of her feelings for Rhett to Ashley earlier never crossed her mind.

Suddenly, the front door swung open and the sound had Scarlett bolt up from her seat and head for the hall’s entrance. At the sight of Rhett, who appeared to be clearly still wound up but not entirely angry, Scarlett let out a breath of relief. There would probably be no scene made, for now anyhow.

Feeling her eyes on him, Rhett turned to face her and said, “I don’t believe we will be invited to the Wilkes’ for some time,” and then he headed for the dining room with Scarlett closely trailing behind.

            “What do you mean? What did you do Rhett?”

            “What did I do?” he asked, his voice rough. “What about what he’s done Scarlett, or am I the only man at fault?”

She’d been mistaken. He was going to make a scene, and the anxiety promptly returned.

            “That’s not what I meant, Rhett. Of course he’s at fault, why I’m as angry with Ashley as you are but…” she began then stopped when she heard Rhett laugh shortly.

            “No, I don’t believe you are, my dear,” he said then laughed once more, but it was not a pleasant laugh. “Isn’t it absurd that I’ve spent a significant amount of my life competing with the man, and even now that I have you, he still manages to get under my skin. I wonder if I’ll ever be free of him.”

            “Rhett what are you talking about? Ashley means nothing,” Scarlett said quickly, placing her hand on his forearm.

Looking down at her hand, Rhett smiled and covered it with his own. “I know darling. I wasn’t saying that I believe you still had feelings for him and I wasn’t blaming you.”

            “Then…I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”

            “I didn’t expect you to understand, it’s immaterial,” he replied then placed a kiss on her hand before moving to prepare himself a stiff drink.

            “If you would only tell me, explain, then I would know. You never tell me anything, and you know very well that I can’t guess. Everything is always a secret with you,” she huffed, annoyed by his lack of disclosure.

            “Perhaps” he finally answered after thinking over her words. “But I’m not the only one who keeps secrets Scarlett. I wonder what you would have done about Ashley’s honorable little speech if I hadn’t walked in when I did. Would you have told me about it?”

            “No,” she replied too quickly, which received a soft chuckle from Rhett.

            “I thought as much.”

            “But only because I know how you would have reacted. I wouldn’t want to tell you something that would hurt you. I may have told you certain parts…I don’t know.”

            “His words could not hurt me, for I care nothing for the man. His opinion is of no consequence to me.”

            “But…what then? Why are you so upset?” Scarlett asked, now confused. Try as she might to read his face, she was at a loss. She couldn’t figure him out and wondered if she ever really would know or understand him the same way he effortlessly seemed to know and understand her.

            “Frankly, I don’t care to discuss this any longer. I believe he’s consumed enough of our time, but I assume you still want to know what I’ve done? I struck the man and left him bleeding on the floor of your office. And I have to say, I rather enjoyed it, probably more than I thought I would and more than I should have,” Rhett said with a grin as the scene played out in his mind once again.

            “You struck him? What if he tells Melly?”

            “Do you truly think that he would tell her the truth, and then have to explain himself? I doubt it, my dear.”

            “But Rhett he could lie, oh I have to go over there and make sure Melly never knows a thing,” Scarlett said, worried that Ashley might let something slip, or better yet, place all the blame on Rhett and lie about the reasons behind the assault.

            “You are overreacting. What reasons will you give for going to the Wilkes’?”

            “I don’t know. I’ll make up something when I get there. He must be home by now, I hope I’m not too late,” she said, quickly preparing herself to leave.

Before slipping out the door, Scarlett turned to face Rhett who was nearby and waiting for her to depart, and she said, “You know, I never thought I would say this, but I’m glad you struck him Rhett. I hope it hurt.”

Rhett laughed and took her two hands in his, bringing each one up to his lips for a soft kiss.

            “It undoubtedly hurt,” he murmured.

            “Good,” Scarlett said with a grin then placed a light peck on his cheek before making her way to the Wilkes’, unsure of what would be waiting for her once she arrived.

With a rapid rap at the door, a frazzled Melanie welcomed Scarlett into the house, and just by Melly’s behavior, she knew that Ashley must have already come home.

            “Darling, you must be here for Ashley. He’s in the parlor. He ran into a door, the poor dear, and he’s still bleeding.”

            “Into a door?” Scarlett asked incredulously, thinking that if he was going to lie he might have come up with something better than that.

            “Yes, Captain Butler didn’t tell you? Isn’t that why you’re here?” Melly said, leading Scarlett to the parlor.

            “Oh, yes… but he didn’t say he ran into a door.”

            “He must have known how embarrassed Ashley was,” she mumbled sweetly before entering the parlor and saying, “Ashley, look who is here to see you.”

Ashley looked up, his hands holding up Rhett’s handkerchief to his face, the white almost completely obscured by the crimson blood, and Scarlett had to look away, thinking that Rhett must have used a lot of force if Ashley was still bleeding.

            “Hello Scarlett,” he said, his words muffled and his grey eyes avoiding her green ones.

            “Ashley,” she replied, sitting down beside him where Melanie had unfortunately placed her.

Being at such a close proximity to Ashley was distressing and she wished she could escape, now knowing that he would evidently keep their secret, though what she couldn’t understand was why he had mentioned Rhett’s presence at the mill at all to Melly. When she finally looked back at him, she couldn’t help but notice the monogram on the handkerchief with a look of surprise on her face, which both Melanie and Ashley noticed.

            “Is something wrong darling?” Melanie asked.

            “Just… no. Is that Rhett’s?” she asked, motioning towards the hanky.

            “Yes. Ashley said he offered it to him since he’d forgotten his own at home, and he even helped Ashley after the incident,” she said kindly, not referring specifically to the fact that Ashley had foolishly walked into a door. “Isn’t Captain Butler so sweet? We really should thank him for his kindness.”

 _Well that explains why he mentioned Rhett. She must have asked why he had his handkerchief. Oh, if only you knew why Ashley was bleeding in the first place,_ Scarlett thought and bit her lip to repress a giggle, but the bubbling laughter finally made its way to the surface despite her attempts to keep it bay. Scarlett buried her face in her hands, laughing uncontrollably and unable to contain it. The thoughts of Rhett providing his handkerchief after striking Ashley in the face and  Melanie’s unwarranted praise and gratefulness in addition to what Ashley must have thought when she called Rhett sweet were just too comical, and she couldn’t help but burst into high pitched giggles.

At first, the couple watched her with odd expressions, but then Melly assumed Scarlett was crying with the way her body shook and the way she completely covered her face with her hands.

            “Oh my dear, don’t cry,” Melanie said, wrapping her arms around Scarlett’s shoulders. “Ashley’s just fine, darling. Why it’s only a little bit of blood. There’s no need to cry.”

  The misunderstanding only amplified the laughter, causing tears to stream from her eyes, which further added to the appearance of crying. Scarlett lifted her head, wiping away the tears with the back of her hands.

            “I’m fine Melly, it’s fine.”

            “Are you sure dear? Can I get you anything?”

            “No, I’m fine. Thank you,” Scarlett said, trying to regain composure.

            “Some water? I’ll go get you some water, dear,” Melly insisted, wanting to be of assistance.

            “All right, and maybe Ashley could use another cloth,” Scarlett said, hoping to have a couple of moments alone with Ashley, as well as no longer wanting to face the deep red that spread across the used handkerchief.

            “Of course, you’re right. I’ll be right back.”

Once Melanie was out of earshot, Ashley finally feebly said, “You were laughing, weren’t you Scarlett?”  

            “Yes. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. Actually, to be honest Ashley, I’m not sorry. What you did today was well—”

            “Yes, I know my dear. Your husband made it abundantly clear how wrong it was of me, and I don’t know how to…Scarlett I most humbly apologize. I had no right to say what I did. I hope one day you could forgive me for my most ungentlemanly behavior. I do not know what came over me. I have no excuse… no excuse at all.”

Scarlett sighed. It would be easier to be able to hate him and pretend that they never shared a history, but she couldn’t do it. Not only would she be working alongside him at times but she also cherished her friendship with Melly, not to mention that she also shared many memories with Ashley, both the good and the bad, and as much as Rhett might disapprove or dislike Ashley, she knew she would forgive him.

            “Yes, of course I can forgive you. We were always friends weren’t we?”

            “Yes, we were. I wouldn’t want to lose you Scarlett. You know, I’m glad you’ve truly found happiness. You deserve it,” he said with sincerity, though there was still a part of him that would still secretly lust after her and miss the flattering attention she used to bestow on him.

Scarlett smiled warmly. “Thank you, I really do love Rhett. Somehow, he’s everything I was looking for.”

Smiling, Melanie then walked in with a glass of water in hand and a cloth for Ashley, happy to see that her friend seemed better. Scarlett made polite conversation, sipping the water until the glass was empty. Finally, seeing as there was nothing further that she wanted to discuss and feeling eager to get away, Scarlett explained that she needed to be home for supper, excused herself, and said her goodbyes, hugging Melanie especially tightly before returning home.

 Once inside, Scarlett went upstairs to find Rhett, who was in their bedroom holding a peacefully sleeping Bonnie, and she smiled but rolled her eyes as well, thinking that never in her life had she known a man who had such a way with children, much like his way with women which he enjoyed bragging about. His head was bent over the baby, his finger wrapped in Bonnie’s tiny grasp, and Scarlett watched from the doorway, not wanting to disturb them. It was strange how the life she had pictured for herself as a child hadn’t turned out quite like she had planned, but she was happier now with this reality than anything she could have envisioned.

Feeling her presence then looking up, Rhett said, “Come here Mrs. Butler.”

Slowly, Scarlett walked into the room and took a seat next to him, smiling when she looked down at her beautiful baby girl. Although motherhood had never come naturally to her, she couldn’t help but love Bonnie with all her heart, though she knew that she might never possess the nurturing qualities her own mother and Melly seemed to share.

            “How are the Wilkes’,” Rhett asked finally, a grin creeping onto his face.

            “Fine, but Ashley ran into a door.”

Wanting to laugh out loudly but managing to restrain the urge so that his sleeping daughter would not wake at the sound, he replied, “Indeed? Must have been a heavy door.”

            “Rhett, you’re horrible. He was still bleeding when I got there you know, and don’t think I didn’t see whose handkerchief he was holding.”

He chuckled softly. “He used it? That’s very interesting.”

            “Yes, and Melanie saw and must have asked him why he had it. And now she assumes you’re this darling man who helped Ashley.”

            “Am I not a _darling_ , my dear?” he asked as the light played in his dark eyes.

            “I know what you want to hear, and I won’t be feeding your conceit,” she said with a grin and he gave her a mock frown in response that made her giggle.

            “Anyhow, Ashley never said anything to Melly thankfully.”

            “What did I tell you,” he stated with an all-knowing smile.

            “I’m sorry. I forgot you knew absolutely everything Rhett Butler. Impossible man,” she huffed under her breath, but he missed nothing.

            “No, not everything, but almost,” he replied with a smirk then a sly wink.

Ignoring his last comment, she continued, “There is something I have to tell you that you might not be happy to hear. I’ve decided that, well… I’m going to forgive Ashley.”

Scarlett looked into his eyes, hoping to read his thoughts, but his face gave nothing away. Quietly, he sat there, holding Bonnie and breaking away from her stare.  Although he seemed aloof, Scarlett could have sworn she saw him clench his jaw, but she couldn’t be certain.

When he remained silent, she said, “I know you hate him but—”

            “Scarlett, I don’t hate him, in fact, I may even feel sorry for him. I knew you were going to forgive him eventually, and I never expected you to cut him out of your life, though if you ever decided to, I’d have no objections to that.”

Rhett spoke so plainly, his voice devoid of emotion, almost alarmingly so to Scarlett. She couldn’t understand what he meant or how it was possible for him not to hate Ashley when he had reacted so passionately at his words.

            “But…I don’t understand.”

Standing then bringing Bonnie over to the bassinet, he replied, “I know, and as much as I’d like to satisfy your curiosity, I’m in no mood at the moment.”

Scarlett let him walk out of the room and did not follow, his sudden withdraw paining her. The change in moods had been so sudden that she didn’t know what to make of it, but she should have guessed he would have reacted badly to what she had to say. Yet this reaction was not what she had been expecting.

During dinner, the couple was unnaturally quiet, neither speaking directly towards one another. Rhett sat in silent reflection while Scarlett sat in resentful silence. If he refused to speak or explain himself, she certainly wasn’t going to make it easier on him by pretending everything was just fine. Thankfully, Wade kept up the conversation, each parent directing their attention towards him, easing some of the awkwardness at the table.

            “Mother, why won’t you talk to Uncle Rhett,” Wade finally asked when he saw his mother leaning over her plate, pushing the food around with a fork like a petulant child.

            “Because Wade, Uncle Rhett doesn’t want to talk to mother. He prefers to talk to himself what with all the people talking to him in his head. He’s much more amused that way.”

  A slight grin crept onto Rhett’s face, something Scarlett missed while avoiding eye contact, and Wade looked up at his stepfather, puzzled by what his mother had said.

            “Wade, your mother is only joking. I would gladly speak to her, just not about what she clearly won’t drop.”

            “What would you like to talk to me about darling, the weather?” Scarlett asked looking up with a deceptively sweet smile. “Certainly not your thoughts, now that would be much too frightening for Captain Butler. God forbid you say what you really mean instead of talking in riddles then brushing me off like I could never understand what you’re saying,” she finished standing up from her seat and flinging the napkin from her lap onto the table. “I believe I’ve lost my appetite.”

 Not wanting to launch into a full-blown argument, Rhett watched in silence as she walked away.

  

In the bedroom, Scarlett sat at the vanity, vigorously pulling the pins out of her coiffure, the raven hair tumbling in disordered waves around her shoulders. Grabbing the hairbrush, she swept the bristles through the long locks with such force that she winced when the brush caught on one of the tangles, tears pricking behind her eyes.

“Damn you,” she muttered, blaming the brush then resumed combing, her face contorted in an unmistakable frustrated frown.

“Permit me,” Rhett said seizing the brush from her hand and taking a seat right behind her so that her back was pressed up against his chest.

She glowered at him in the mirror, and he chuckled softly then started to run the brush through her hair with a soothing gentleness that made it hard for Scarlett to restrain the urge to close her eyes and enjoy the attention. With every stroke, the hair shone with added black brilliance from root to tip. Suddenly, Scarlett laid her head back against his shoulder, making it impossible for him to continue.

            “Darling, you’re making this rather difficult for me,” Rhett said with a grin.

Realizing what she had done, she sat upright and moved her body as far away from his as the seat would permit.  

            “I wasn’t complaining, my dear,” he murmured then pulled her back by the waist so that she was once again lying against his chest.

Scarlett then felt something brush her hair, but this time she knew it wasn’t the comb. Sweeping the tresses to one side, Rhett placed velvet kisses down the back of her neck causing shivers to run down her spine, the warmth of his breath against the cool ivory skin bringing about a sudden shudder.            

            “You know I love you, don’t you Scarlett?” he asked softly between kisses, his mouth moving to the side of her neck then down, leaving a burning trail all the way to her shoulder.

Her heart beating wildly and hands clenching the fabric of her skirt, Scarlett remained mute.

            “Don’t you?” he asked again when he received no reply, looking into the mirror to read her face, but she averted her eyes immediately then mumbled an affirmative.

            “So, you know that when I tell you I don’t want to discuss something it is not because I want to hurt you. Occasionally I need time to think things over before I’m ready to discuss them. Can you understand that?”

After inhaling a deep breath of air, she nodded her head, and he chuckled softly.

            “Are you not speaking to me now?”

            “No, I am. If you don’t want to tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you, fine. I’ll wait… I suppose,” she finally answered, turning slightly to face him.

Placing both hands on the sides of her face, he kissed her tenderly, and her arms wrapped around his neck, deepening their kiss.

 

Later that evening, the couple slipped into bed, both having agreed to a truce for the time being, though Scarlett still had the strong desire to know what had come over her husband. If he needed time, she would give it to him, but if he intended on letting the subject fade away and believed it would work, he was sorely mistaken. Nevertheless, she was pleased with the return of the calm that lay between them.  Enveloped in his arms, his face nuzzled in the crook of her neck and his arm draped over her waist and securing her to his body, Scarlett found an immediate restful sleep, her eyes slipping closed at the lull of Rhett’s rhythmic breathing and steady heartbeat.

 

In the middle of the night, a sudden cold swept over Scarlett and she wanted to snuggle up closely to Rhett’s body and the heat it radiated, but when reaching for him, she realized he was no longer in bed. Heart rate accelerating in an unpleasant way, Scarlett flung away the covers and leapt out of bed. As she stepped into the dressing room, an orange flicker of light calmed her nerves, and she let out a soft sigh of relief. Rhett hadn’t really left; something she would have wrung his neck for.

 There he sat, lounging in an armchair facing the side window, smoking a cigar and staring into a dark oblivion.  She gradually approached him, her bare feet treading lightly. The room was completely dark, apart from the glowing light of the cigar, but once her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she could make her way to him with ease. Though he heard her walk into the room, he made no attempt to speak. Coming up behind him, Scarlett placed a gentle hand to his cheek, which he instantly covered with his own, savoring the feel of the soft skin against his hard cheek.

            “You’re lucky you didn’t run away Rhett Butler,” Scarlett said in a serious tone, but her voice was barely above a whisper.

            “Is that right? Pray, what would you have done Mrs. Butler?” he asked as he put out the last bit of the cigar with his free hand.

             “I don’t know, but you would have been punished,” she replied lightheartedly.

He chuckled softly. “I would have liked to see that. Perhaps I should disappear on you sometime just to see how I will be _punished_ when I return.”

            “Don’t you dare,” she said, her voice rising slightly.

            “I won’t, my dear. I only came here because I didn’t want to wake you with my restlessness. I’m surprised you woke because you were sleeping peacefully when I left you.”

            “I was cold without you,” she answered simply, and he laughed lightly. “What are you doing anyhow Rhett?”

            “Thinking.”

Waiting for a response but receiving none, he continued, “Won’t you ask me what about?” 

            “Am I allowed to?” she asked with barely suppressed resentment, and he laughed once more.

            “I might have deserved that. You may ask me whatever you like, though I may choose not to answer you immediately.”

            “And I’m sure you’d enjoy refusing to answer me,” she said, trying to pull her hand away, but he held on with a tight grip.

            “Not particularly,” he murmured, pulling her arm closer and placing electric kisses into the palm of her hand then gradually moving his lips up towards her rapidly pulsating wrist.

Tugging on her hand and seeing that he would not release his grasp, she bent her head and started caressing the side of his neck, nibbling his earlobe from time to time and causing him to lose concentration with her sudden show of affection.

            “Scarlett,” he groaned, and she wanted to giggle at the power she held.

Taking him by surprise, she managed to pull her arm away, but only so she could climb onto his lap.

            “Have you finished?” he asked with amusement when she did not continue with her caresses.

            “For now.”

            “Is this how I would have been punished?”

She nodded then said, “But it would have been much worse,” and he laughed.

For a few moments they sat in comfortable silence, Scarlett’s head resting against his chest, her legs sprawled across his with her dainty feet dangling off one knee. Rhett’s arm was wrapped around her waist, and she took his hand that was resting on her lap into her tiny grasp and began playing with the shiny gold band.

            “You know Scarlett, I don’t believe you realize how happy you made me today when you told Ashley you loved me,” Rhett finally murmured into the darkness.

            “You have a funny way of showing it,” she replied, but there was no acid coloring her words.

            “I am not accustomed to expressing myself, my dear. Clearly you’ve noticed.”

Intrigued, she sat up straight, eager to hear him discuss his feelings, if that was in fact what he was going to do.

            “Even after you told me you loved me, there was always something in the back of my mind telling me it wouldn’t last, that it would disappear as quickly as it had come. And then of course there was Ashley. I could tell the man’s obvious lust for you was still present, and it killed me to know you’d be alone together at times, not because I didn’t trust you but because it disturbed me that you never told him of your love for me.”

She wanted to interrupt, but stopped herself because she wished to hear everything he had to say; afraid he might not continue if she said the wrong thing.

            “I hated knowing that he still thought he had some hold over you, and I couldn’t understand why you never set the man straight,” he continued.  “Since you claimed to love me, I thought you’d be proud to confess your feelings for me, but you never did, until today. If I hadn’t been in such a rage, I might have taken you right then and there, but I wanted to kill him. Not because I hate him or because of what he said about me, which I find most laughable, but because he never considered the effect his words might have had on our lives.”

            “But Rhett, nothing he could have said would have changed anything between us,” Scarlett whispered affectionately, running a hand through his jet black hair.

            “No? What if you still hadn’t realized you loved me, what then? You might have relished his disgust for me and enjoyed his attentions, perhaps you might have even taken him up on his none too subtle suggestion of chastity.”

            “Rhett don’t be silly, why there’s no point in looking back at something that only might have happened. I love you, and nothing Ashley could ever say will change that. He only made himself look the fool today.”

            “It may be silly, my dear, but I cannot help but think about it. I’ve competed with the man for your affections for so long it’s difficult to stop and accept that I can cease fighting, that I finally have all of you. I’m not used to receiving unconditional love, my pet, so I tend to doubt it.”

Scarlett shifted to have a better view of his expression, and then she placed a delicate hand to each side of his face.

            “I can’t promise never to use your words against you Rhett, but I won’t ever use your love against you. Why couldn’t you just tell me all this before?  You make me feel like such a fool when you behave as if could never understand you. I want to know you like you know me,” Scarlett said then brought a hand to her mouth to hide a yawn.

Rhett chuckled lightly and brushed his lips across her forehead tenderly. He then gathered her up effortlessly in his powerful arms, her hands snaked around his neck, and he walked back into their bedroom, placing her gently onto the bed.

            “I’ll try to be more open, my love, but I make no promises,” he said with a grin, leaning over her.

            “Of course not,” she replied with a faint giggle.

Then, she brought her hand up to his face and stroked his cheek, the light in his dark eyes dancing, before bringing both her hands to his strong shoulders.

            “I love you Rhett Butler,” she declared, gazing deeply into his dark orbs.

            “I’ll never tire of hearing you say those words,” he said huskily, bringing his lips down to the side of her neck and caressing the exposed skin, his hands roaming the bare soft flesh underneath the nightgown, pulling and molding her body to his.

            “It’s a good thing because I’ll never stop saying them,” she whispered back as she raked her hands through his hair, and then his mouth was on hers, fervently bringing them both into a dizzying dream as the luminous light of dawn crept in through the window.

 

♥~Epilogue : Et Je T’aime Encore ~♥

September 1878

It was the Butlers’ tenth wedding anniversary, and Rhett was taking Scarlett back to New Orleans to celebrate and recapture the magic of their honeymoon. Although it wouldn’t be their first trip back to New Orleans, it would be the first time that they would travel back without children hanging on their arms or the thoughts of a pending pregnancy on their minds. After giving Rhett three children, Scarlett had put her foot down and refused to have anymore. In reality, the only reason they’d tried for another child three years after Bonnie was born was because Scarlett had been desperate to give Rhett a son. Unfortunately and much to Scarlett’s chagrin, they had another pretty little girl with the jet-black locks of her father and the dark gentle eyes of her grandmother Ellen, named Leila, who somehow received the nickname, Lily.

Two years after Lily’s birth, the couple had tried once again for a boy. It was more a matter of pride than a need to have another child because Scarlett had felt that she had more than enough to deal with without five children clinging about her skirts, but there was still this desire to prove that she could give Rhett a son. Deep down, it was also a chance for her to make up for the lack of affection and attention she’d paid Wade when he was younger. Although their relationship had improved over time, she would never get back those years or have the kind of bond with him that he shared with Melanie.  Therefore, when they had finally been blessed with a son, a perfect miniature of his father and his dark pirate-like looks, Scarlett had seen and taken it as an opportunity to start from scratch.  They had named him Ryan Kendrick, which had been chosen specifically because Scarlett enjoyed the fact that Rhett’s son would share the same middle name and the same initials, not to mention that Ryan was also a Gaelic name selected in memory of Gerald. After his birth, Scarlett had vowed never to have another child, and Rhett had agreed immediately because the house was chaotic enough as it was.

Melanie was more than happy to unload the burden whenever she could be of use, watching the children during the afternoon while both their parents worked or tending to them and Scarlett during the times when she had been in the family way. Melly had lived vicariously through Scarlett’s pregnancies, even while she’d been inwardly wishing to have another child of her own. Regrettably, having another child had proven to be an impossibility, especially after an unfortunate and terrible accident at the mills which left Ashley unable to reproduce even if he’d wanted to. The man simply had no luck at those mills. Whether he was slamming into fists or running into doors, he just couldn’t catch a break.  However, it was the couple’s infertility and Melly’s eagerness to mother and nurture children which allowed the Butlers to go on numerous excursions alone, something they undoubtedly appreciated and desperately needed at times.

***

When they finally reached New Orleans for a getaway they both had been longing for, Scarlett found herself swept up in the charm and romance of the city that captured her heart ten years ago. Rhett had gone to great lengths to recreate the events of their honeymoon, so much so that Scarlett felt as if she were reliving that time in her life, once again the young careless belle, attending balls and drinking too much champagne. It was easy to be enraptured in the glamour and to forget reality, especially when surrounded by enchanting people and encouraged by one’s husband to so.  In Rhett’s eyes, there was nothing more exhilarating than seeing that his wife was incandescently happy, and he wanted to ensure she stayed that way for the remainder of the trip by showering her with various gifts and simple tokens of affection. But as far as he’d gone to secure her happiness on the first few days of their visit, there wasn’t anything which would surpass what he had planned on the actual day of their anniversary. Ten years of marriage was certainly something to celebrate. Even with mutual affection, their marriage had been far from smooth sailing, which wasn’t a surprise given their stubborn and passionate natures. On more than one occasion, Rhett had packed his bags with the full intention of leaving until Scarlett’s temper cooled, always finding a reason to stay at the last minute, while she had thrown a number items in his direction, only once striking him with a vase. Yet, despite the occasional turbulence, marrying Scarlett had turned out to be the greatest gamble of Rhett’s life, the last ten years unparalleled to even the reckless bachelorhood of his youth or blockading days. Who knew that marriage, something he once had a strong aversion to, would turn out to be the most thrilling and long-lived adventure he would ever experience and come to appreciate.

***

On the morning of their anniversary, which was more like mid-day since Scarlett had slept in, Rhett snatched the bed covers and began ticking her bare feet, and she opened her eyes with a scowl on her face.

 “Rhett, let me sleep. It’s too early and my head aches,” she muttered then closed her eyes again.

            “And that couldn’t possibly have anything to do with that last glass of champagne you consumed? You do remember that I had to carry you to bed? You were hardly fit to get there yourself.”

Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson at the memory, as hazy as it was at the moment.

            “Whose fault is that? You pushed me to have that glass!”

Chuckling softly, he leaned in and brushed the gentlest kiss across her lips. “I don’t deny it, my love. Now you need to wake up because I have a lot planned for us today. I have coffee and your breakfast tray with me.”

            “Breakfast?” she said sitting up, her green eyes sparkling.

            “Ah, so it is the thought of food and not my charming self that persuades you to wake. I suppose I should have known.”

Scarlett giggled and watched Rhett bring over the breakfast tray, they way he had often done the first time they had honeymooned in New Orleans.  It was hard to imagine ten years had passed, and as she observed her husband, Scarlett couldn’t help but think that he hadn’t changed a bit. There may have been a slight graying at his temples and the beginning of a few extra wrinkles, but he was still the same mocking devil she had met at Twelve Oaks, the comforting confidant she had leaned on after the war, and the tender lover she had grown to know during their marriage.

Sitting the tray atop Scarlett’s legs, Rhett scrutinized her face, thinking that the light in her eyes was no longer due to the idea of breakfast.

            “What are you thinking about, my pet?”

            “Only my charming husband,” she answered plainly with a hint of a smile playing at her lips. As much as she tried, she could never acquire the skill of feigning indifference. Her emotions were always near the surface, clearly visible on her face and easy to read.

Rhett picked up Scarlett’s left hand, his thumb moving over the soft surface, at times grazing the edge of the emerald and diamond gem.

            “And what is it about me that has you so aberrantly in deep reflection?”

            “Are you fishing for compliments?”

            “Ah Scarlett, we may be similar creatures but—”

            “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” she interjected swiftly. “If you want to know, I was thinking that you haven’t changed very much, although you are a lot kinder than you were.”

            “Kinder?” he asked with a raised brow.

            “Well Rhett, you weren’t always very nice to me, you know. You never really showed that you cared very much about me, and I never would have guessed that you loved me until you told me so.”

            “Let’s not forget why I hid my feelings.”

            “Oh, I know, but don’t you think I might have realized I loved you much sooner if you had only been kinder?”

            “Scarlett, there was only one thing on your mind during that time, and I don’t think there was anything I could have done to open your eyes. I tried,” Rhett said as if he were stating a fact, his voice devoid of all the bitterness that used to accompany his words when Ashley was somehow involved in the conversation. Of course he still enjoyed throwing flippant barbs Ashley’s way whenever it suited him, but it was more out of sport than out of any remaining resentment. That time had passed when he’d finally come to believe and trust that he was the only one who held any place in Scarlett’s heart.

            “However, I won’t deny that there were times where I should have behaved differently,” Rhett continued. “The day I proposed comes to mind. I’ve made it up to you though, haven’t I?”

            “You have,” she replied with a genuine smile, and Rhett brought her hand up to his lips, his touch as electric as ever.

When placing her hand down, Rhett remarked, “My dear, have you ever taken off your ring? Other than the times when you launched it at my head, along with a number of other things I seem to recall.”

            “I’ve never thrown it at you head!” she denied adamantly.

            “No? If memory serves, you’ve thrown it in my direction on a number of occasions.”

            “When?” she challenged.

            “When you were pregnant with Ryan and I assured you that he would be a girl.”

            “Well, you deserved it! You knew very well that I wanted a boy!”

Rhett laughed, “Would you like me to continue, or would you prefer to admit that I am right?”

            “I’ll never admit it, but let’s not discuss this any longer. In any case, I should be getting dressed. You did say that you had something planned for me this evening?”

            “I did, and don’t even try it darling. It’s going to remain a surprise,” Rhett said with a devilish grin, restraining the urge to laugh at her pout.

 

Rhett made sure that the remainder of their day consisted of only the things Scarlett loved. Their afternoon began with an extravagant shopping trip, which wasn’t all that different from the way they’d spent their other days in New Orleans, but this time he’d agreed to enter a jewelry shop, a serious risk when it came to Scarlett even when one has veto power. Luckily, nothing in the shop seemed quite ostentatious enough to hold any appeal, but it was an altogether different story when Scarlett was searching for luxurious frocks and silk delicates. The remainder of their day was spent dining on divine Creole dishes at Antoine’s and was followed by an evening of dancing, much to her delight. If there was one thing Scarlett enjoyed more than shopping it was dancing, and she reveled in floating across the floor in Rhett’s powerful arms. It still amazed her how such a stalwart man could dance so gracefully, and she couldn’t have been more proud to have him as her handsome dance partner and husband. Because he wanted the night to be a memorable one, Rhett took pleasure in giving in to all of her fancies, but he also made certain that she did not overindulge in champagne this time around. There was still something waiting for Scarlett back at the hotel room, and he wanted her completely lucid for it.

 

On the carriage ride back home, Scarlett snuggled up closely to Rhett and laid her head on his shoulder, ready to doze off to sleep at any moment.

            “You aren’t falling asleep on me now, are you darling?”

            “Oh no,” she lied, sitting up.

            “I didn’t say you had to move.”

Rolling her eyes, she retuned her head to his shoulder, relishing the feel of the strong frame pressed to her side. When she felt his lips brush across the top her head, she smiled. The man could certainly be a sweetheart when he wasn’t behaving like an infuriating devil.

The carriage stopped in front of the hotel, and Rhett helped Scarlett down, draping his arm over her shoulders as they walked to their room. When they reached their suite, Rhett unlocked the door, and the room that should have been pitch black was aglow with dozens of the tiniest candles in glass hurricanes, the flames flickering brightly in the darkness and casting shadows along the walls. Stepping into the room, Scarlett gasped, not inured to surprises, especially pleasant ones.

            “Rhett, how did you…” she began then trailed off when she realized there was a path of candles leading to the bed, following it.

            “I have my ways,” he replied with a light laugh.

On the plush claret-colored comforter lay a white and violet iris resting atop a jewelry case. Picking up the flower, Scarlett turned to Rhett who stood a few paces behind her.

            “You remembered,” she breathed.

            “Honey, it’s hard to forget when you went about saving the flower. Don’t you want to open your gift?”

The emerald eyes glittered in anticipation like those of a young child on Christmas day, and she nodded, taking the case into her hands. As moved as she was by the iris, the gift was beckoning to her, asking to be opened, and Scarlett lifted the lid, eagerly waiting to see what Rhett had picked out. All that she found resting on the white satin interior was a folded piece of paper, and her face fell evidently. Unfolding the note, Scarlett realized it was a poem and she looked up at Rhett.

            “A poem?” she asked, disappointment coloring her tone, which made Rhett laugh lightly.

            “You could try reading it.”

She grimaced then began reading, hoping this wasn’t one of his jokes.

 

_Tell me not (Sweet) I am unkind,_  
  That from the Nunnery  
Of thy chaste breast, and quiet mind,  
  To War and Arms I flee.  
  
True, a new Mistress now I chase,  
  The first Foe in the Field;  
And with a stronger Faith embrace  
  A Sword, a Horse, a Shield.  
  
Yet this inconstancy is such  
  As you too shall adore;  
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,  
  Loved I not Honour more.

 

Starring blankly at the poem then back up at Rhett, she wondered if this was supposed to mean something to her.

            “Don’t tell me this doesn’t bring back any memories? You do remember the pat speech I gave you before I joined the army?”

She reread it quickly. Oh yes, she remembered, but there were hardly any fond feelings evoked from the memory. For a moment, Scarlett had to suppress the desire to throw down the useless piece of paper and stomp on it vigorously.

            “I do, but I’d rather forget,” she answered stonily.

            “Ah Scarlett, I should have known you wouldn’t understand,” he said as he gently took her hands. “That was the first time I confessed to loving you. It was also the first time I allowed myself to truly acknowledge my feelings for you and accept my fate, something that would make any man fearful.”

            “If you loved me, why did you leave? You never would explain it to me.”

Rhett sighed, dropping her hands and running his own through his hair. “It’s not something easy to explain, I hardly understand it myself.  I suppose it was that I always knew you could never really respect me if I hadn’t joined. How could I have expected you to love a man who doesn’t even respect himself?”

Pausing, he took a seat on the bed and rubbed a hand over his hard cheek. “I believe I felt ashamed for idly sitting back and watching as more and more men died in pursuit of a lost cause or badge of honor, fools though they were. It was something I felt I needed to do, and as much as I question my motives until this day, I will never regret it when it’s what allows our children to be accepted in decent society.”

            “You could have gone after you took us home to Tara, instead of leaving us there where anything might have happened. I could have died,” she added dramatically, still unsatisfied with his response.

            “And I never would have forgiven myself, but I had faith in you, my dear,” he said as he seized her hands in one quick motion and pulled her onto his lap. “Scarlett, I loved you too much to stay and take you home. I was already beginning to realize how deeply you had your claws in me, and I knew that I couldn’t have brought myself to leave if I’d stayed much longer. As it was, I knew you didn’t need me, not really, and you never wanted me. Perhaps I was also hoping to forget you, to loosen this chain you had around my heart. But alas, not even the harsh realities of war could erase you from my mind.”

Scarlett couldn’t help but smile. Even though she still hadn’t managed to full-heartedly forgive him for abandoning her that night, it was still satisfying to know that she had completely captured his heart so early on and that he couldn’t succeed in forgetting her, even when he’d wanted to.

            “You really loved me that much?”

            “Yes, and as I declared my deep and undying love, you couldn’t even be bothered to realize it. I don’t believe you absorbed a word I’d said.”

            “I did have other things on my mind at the time,” she retorted, on the verge of annoyance.

            “Yes, it was also the first time I kissed you,” he replied with a smirk, purposely misconstruing her words.

Scarlett giggled then looked down at the poem she still held in her hand before meeting his gaze once again.

“Well Rhett, I never knew you were such a sentimental fool.”

“Surprising isn’t it?”

“Very,” she answered as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “So, do you have anything else for me?” Scarlett asked hopefully.

“Aren’t I enough?”

She laughed lightly at his playful smile. “Oh yes, but you know Rhett, I wouldn’t say no to a gift.”

            “Haven’t you had enough spoiling for one day?”

            “Not possible.”

Chuckling softly, Rhett opened the left side of his jacket and motioned for her to examine the inside pocket. Anxiously, she slipped her hand into the pocket and squealed when she pulled out an emerald and diamond drop pendant necklace, reminiscent of the engagement ring on her finger. In the excitement of the moment, Scarlett threw her arms around Rhett so fiercely that she knocked them both backwards onto the bed. Lying across his chest, she smothered him with light kisses before sitting up to admire the addition to her collection of jewels.

            “Oh Rhett, it’s beautiful! Did you have it made just for me?”

            “Of course. Who else would wear something so vulgar?” he teased.

            “You must be joking! It’s precious,” she said, clutching it to her heart protectively as if his words would somehow etch away at some of its beauty.

            “Here, why don’t I put it on you,” Rhett said as he put out his hand, and she handed it to him reluctantly, not wanting to let it out of her sight for an instant.

Warm fingertips grazed the smooth edges of her collar bone and the sides of her neck before lingering at the back to tie the clasp, causing the tiny hairs to stand on end.

“I thought you’d like it. I suppose you deserved something special after ten years of marriage,” he murmured before teasing her soft skin with his lips, the warmth of his breath searing the exposed skin.

            “Oh Rhett, stop saying that. It makes me feel so old. Ten years is such a long time to be married.”

            “Indeed. An aeon,” he replied with a smirk, not that she could see it with her back to him.

Scarlett could have sworn she’d heard someone use that word once before, but the meaning still escaped her.

            “Although,” Rhett continued in the same vein, “it is remarkable with your track record, my dear. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.” 

Scowling, she turned to face him and swatted his chest. “Keep talking like that Rhett Butler and you won’t be for much longer.”

            “Do you really want to bury yet another husband?”

            “Rhett!” she reprimanded as she pulled herself out of his arms. “You know very well how horrible that day was for me. How can you joke about something like that?”

            “I was only teasing, darling. Surely, you must have some pleasant memories of that day. It was, after all, the day I proposed, and did you not tell me you knew you loved me then?”

            “Well…yes,” she wavered, “but I was worried that you’d find out.”

            “Terrifying, isn’t it?”

            “Oh no, it’s not so bad.  I certainly wouldn’t have run off to war to escape you,” she quipped with a saucy grin.

            “You’ll never let me live that one down will you, my pet?”

            “I don’t know. It’s much too fun having something to hold over your head.”

            “Indeed? So you can pray on my guilty conscience and susceptible heart whenever it pleases you? You are a heartless creature.”

            “Well, look what it’s gotten me. I’d be a fool to let it go,” she replied, leaning in and resting her hands on his shoulders.

            “And what is it that you have for me? Don’t I get something for being a devoted husband for so long?”

            “I gave you three children. That should be more than enough I should think.”

            “And I gave you my sanity, so I suppose we are on equal ground.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know nothing of child birth.”

            “And you know nothing of the trials a man goes through when married to you, but I wouldn’t change a thing,” he added with a grin then snuck his arms around her waist, drawing her back onto his lap.

            “I will remind you Rhett Butler that there were many men who would have died at the chance to marry me.”

            “Yes, and a few quite literally.”

            “Would you stop bringing that up!”

            “I couldn’t resist, my dear. You should choose you words more wisely. As it is, I won’t deny being grateful for their deaths. If Frank hadn’t died when he had, I might have taken the matter into my own hands. I don’t believe you know how it killed me to watch you with him, to know you’d lain in his arms at night, that he touched you, that you were carrying his child. It drove me crazy that I couldn’t be the one to protect you and give you everything you wanted.”

There was a cloud of darkness that came over his face as he spoke, obscuring the mischievous dancing light that had played in his eyes only moments before.

            “Sometimes I needed to leave Atlanta just to rid myself of the consuming thoughts of you,” he continued. “Seeing you every day was only a constant reminder of my own helplessness.”

            “You never told me all that,” Scarlett whispered gently, unaccustomed to Rhett speaking so freely about his feelings.

 

Even though he had improved over time, he always seemed to carry around a protective shield for fear that someone might get too close, even his wife. For a man whose parents never loved him unconditionally for who he was and not the façade of a gentleman they had wanted him to be, it was challenging for Rhett to wholeheartedly believe someone could love him for himself. There was always a lingering fear that a hidden corner of his mind would be revealed and could somehow convince Scarlett that he wasn’t worth loving. This was why Ashley’s love had always been such a slap in the face. There he was, desperately in love with a woman so much like himself, selfish, stubborn, passionate and fiery, and who was she pining over but the perfect docile gentleman his father would have admired and wished for as a son.  There’s nothing quite so damaging as failing to measure up time and time again, which was why Rhett had gone about testing Scarlett’s love for him throughout their marriage, needing the constant validation.  Over time this need had waned, but he was always more than ready to put up his guard and mask his true feelings.

 

Rhett shifted uncomfortably under her scrutiny, suddenly realizing how much of himself he’d exposed.  “No, I don’t believe I have. Are you surprised?”

            “I’m always surprised when you tell me things like that. I feel like such a fool for not noticing how you felt. You know, I did miss you whenever you left Atlanta. I always wondered where you were and when you’d be coming back.”

            “Did you really?” he asked with chuckle, grateful for the change in mood.

            “Yes. I really did need you, Rhett. You were the only true friend I had to talk to openly.”

            “Do you still need me?” he murmured silkily.

There was a dreamlike quality to Scarlett’s face as she loving ran a hand through Rhett’s hair before circling her arms around his neck. “I’ll always need you. I love you Rhett Butler, even when you don’t deserve it.”

            “How much do you love me?”

She thought about it a moment. “I love you as much as this necklace.”

“I’m beyond flattered,” he said with a laugh while leaning in to kiss her, but he was suddenly stopped with a push of Scarlett’s hand.

            “You could have the decency to say it back to me you know,” she demanded.

            “Say what exactly, my dear?”

            “Rhett!”

            “I love you darling. Much more than would be considered prudent let alone sensible. Are you satisfied?”

            “I don’t know. Can you take out that last part? I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.”

            “It’s not,” he teased, adoring the fact the he still held the power to ignite that charming temper when he saw how her green eyes blazed fiercely.

But before she could protest, Rhett whispered, “I love you Scarlett,” and then pulled her in for one of his dizzying kisses that made her heart race wildly and left her shaky and breathless. The man certainly did have a way with women, well, at least one woman in particular.

***

Later that night, when the soft glow of the candles had dimmed with only the waves of the moonlight peeking through the curtains and lighting the darkened room, Scarlett revealed and gave Rhett the gift she’d been saving, smugly proving that he wasn’t the only one with surprises.

           

*♥*The End*♥*

 


End file.
